*****REVISED******
I came on a little strong the first time and was a bit critical. I apologize. My sense of justice to support my choice was a bit in control in it's attempts to vindicate myself from judgment I have received in the past.
You know I've got the calendar marked and it reads: '6 weeks to kindergarten'.
Just like we mark the countdown of our child's birth, I have had the weeks numbered on my calendar for the last 4 months.
I enjoy the conversation with other moms, older and younger re: the best education choices for our kids.
Just thought I'd share some thoughts re: where I'm at and what I'm doing this year and why.
Now, while there is a huge trend of homeschooling in my area, I plan to send my son to public school for a variety of reasons.
In my attempts to convince that public school would be sufficient, I asked a couple of girls at a park at a homeschooling curriculum exchange at the park, a couple of questions:
Question: "How long do you spend doing schoolwork?"
Answers: Girl #1: "1.5 to 2 hours" - Girl #2: "2.5-4 hours"
Question: "What do you do after you're done with your schoolwork?"
Answers: Girl #1: "Sit on the computer." - Girl #2: "Play."
I am intrigued by homeschooling on a variety of levels. As a Facebook friend respectfully pointed out however, that what I may have seen and heard is a 'lazy parenting' thing, not a pitfall of homeschooling.
I do love that girl #2's response was 'play'....that's what a child needs most. But I am left to wonder in this online gaming/social media crazed society, how many homeschooled kids are sitting at a computer most of their days after their schoolwork is done? Just as we can ask "how many kids, in general, are hooked on media themselves...along the side of their parents?"
I do realize that some parents have to homeschool to 'protect their children from the rough schools, lack of quality education, etc.' I know because I intentionally moved from one of those school districts last year to a better one. Yes, I agree that sometimes it is the best/only option for particular situations.
I do have some great friends with great kids and they're doing the homeschool thing...and that's great for them.
However, with this trend, what bothers me the most is when homeschooling parents try to make parents who send their kids to public school feel as though they are ripping their kids off...or not giving them the 'best life' or anything that falls contrary to the fact that public school may be great, as well.
Kind of like the 'La Leche' breastfeeding women who make you feel guilty for giving your baby a bottle instead of the breast. Do you know what I'm talking about? Why does all this stuff have to be so taboo to discuss?
Here's the thing: We all are parents, stewards over our OWN kids! I (usually) know what is best for my kid, and you know what is best for your kid.
My 5 year old son is unique. Highly intelligent. And highly stubborn. Now, some would try to tell me all the techniques I need to use to teach him at home. But here is the thing: Daniel is more cooperative for teachers, loves meeting new kids and making friends, and he loves seeing his 'friends' over and over.
At preschool, he kept his mouth closed for his pre-k teacher. At home, it's a struggle to let his little brother talk. At kids' church he is obedient and sits still and listens to his teachers. Here at home, not so cooperative.
He is a social butterfly. Thrives around other kids and loves constant (6-8 hrs/day) activity. He goes all day without a nap!
Now, why would I try to keep my super social, very cooperative (for others), brilliant child home with me? On another note, I do totally lack confidence that I am equipped to give him the best skills when it comes to all subjects. I love to write, read and do math. I fear I would be impartial and be skimpy on the history, as it was not a fave of mine in school. But this may prove to be his favorite.
I consider how he is reluctant to pick up his toys for me at home. And ask: why would I make his ability to read completely contingent on my ability to get him to be 100% obedient to me? Just a thought I've had over and over...each time a homeschooler mom says, 'you're not going to homeschool?' with a tone and look of disapproval.
Will my kid stop when I yell stop if we're in a dangerous situation? YES. But many of us have kids who are just more cooperative with other adults because they are so secure and comfortable with us that their strong-willed nature can rule their actions a little more at home.
(And yes, I do need to read Dr. James Dobson's book: The Strong-Willed Child.)
However, from my birds-eye view today, I feel public school will allow my son to individualize. I can be a little overbearing/strong-willed myself. Why keep him under my wings, when he thrives with others? Why would I keep him home isolated and bored, when he can learn to share, sit still in a chair for time at length, have the opportunity to compete, and have to adapt?
Point being:
WE'VE GOT TO DO
WHAT WE FEEL IS RIGHT FOR OUR KIDS!
(Without wavering, guilt, or condemnation.)
If you homeschool your child, great. Unfortunately, I feel for me, if I were to homeschool my son, I'd be doing him a disservice. Sure, we could probably pull it off. Heck, I've got him ready for first grade nearly. He does way beyond what he needs to academically for kindergarten. But see, if I kept Daniel home to learn it would be motivated by my own fear, control, and selfishness. It would be to serve my emotional needs, not his. And I am only saying this about ME. I have tried to talk myself into homeschooling. I have. I am petrified to leave my asthmatic son in the care of others. However, I can't make decisions out of fear, when I feel his personality will have room to blossom in a school. And I also see him have the gift of evangelism, I look forward to seeing how many kids he will invite to church! They need a light out in the world, and Daniel's shines brightly!
And that's it...what is best for our children? Only we know, as their parents! So my post is not about whether public school is better than homeschooling, or vice versa. It's more about letting parents make the choice that they see best and fits their life and budget and personalities. So be free to do homeschool, but also, be free to do public school!
Note: I apologize if you homeschool your kids and somehow I offend you. I personally have felt offended from time to time by a variety of people on a variety of topics. I do recognize that there are time that we have only one perspective on certain things. I also know too that if someone disagrees with us on something we are very passionate about, we are offended. A funny observation I've remarked on the past is: You've heard it said: 'don't talk politics and religion' . Well we need to extend it to 'don't talk politics, religion, breast vs. bottle feeding, public vs. home vs. private schooling, as well as nutritional shakes'. ;) Love you all - always!
This revision came by way of a FB friend. Thank you Emily for your corrections. You have given me much to chew on. Thank you for shedding light on the homeschool topic for me. Thanks so much!
I totally agree with your points. I feel the same pressure from other moms. if I felt zoe wasn't thriving at school, I would pull her in a second. But she is! She loves it.
ReplyDeleteI do think home schooling can strengthen the family and individualize learning, but I think regardless of home or school learning, we should be supplementing at home. Home should be a learning environment regardless
zoe listens much better to others and it I think it teaches her respect for other adults, too, to be in a public learning situation.
Good stuff!
Thank you for seeing my heart Rebecca. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who has felt the pressure. I think that's why my original post may have been so passionately vindicative! :)
DeleteI *think* the point you were trying to make here is that each family should be free to educate their children the way God calls them to without being judged by others. However, your entire post is judging homeschooling, and not only that but it's filled with untruths. I hope you won't mind my going over a few points and giving you my input from the standpoint of a mother who has homeschooled from the start (oldest child is going into 9th grade this year). Keep in mind that all of my points are based on homeschooling done right, not homeschooling done lazily (ie kids on computer all day - that's not a homeschooling thing, it's a lazy parenting thing).
ReplyDelete*May not prepare kids to work: I'm so curious about this, because studies show that adults who were homeschooled are more involved citizens than their public-schooled counterparts. Homeschooled kids generally have more independence than kids in traditional schools and take more responsibility for their own education.
*Homeschooling is isolating: My kids are out and about pretty much every day of the week. They engage with people of all ages at park days, errands, sports, appointments, field trips, classes etc. They feel sorry for kids who sit in the same classroom with the same kids, day after day, year after year.
*Lack of structure: again a parenting thing. Maybe you'd like to see the schedule posted on my wall detailing what needs to be done when?
*Sheltering our kids: Our society is so full of negative influences, I hardly thing it would be possible to shelter them in this day and age. But again, I think you may be imagining something different from what it is when you think of homeschooling. I do not walk around my house with my children under my skirt. We have a television. We go out. We play AYSO (and numerous other sports).
*Lack of physical education and exercise: I'm sorry, but this just made me laugh. Have you noticed how PE has been cut back in the schools? My kids get breaks in between subjects and no, they don't go to the computer or TV (they're not allowed until all schoolwork and chores are done, which means that during the week/school year they generally don't watch TV and will get maybe 30 minutes or so to play on their iPods in the evening), they go outside and play. I have four children and they're all quite active and healthy. Their mother, on the other hand . . . (again not a homeschooling thing, but thanks for implying that while public school mothers are thin and active, the homeschooling ones are all fat?)
*Mothers too busy to interact with children: Now this is a first. Saying that mothers who homeschool don't spend time with their kids. Hmm. Would gladly invite you to spend a day or week in my home. Seriously.
*Homeschooled kids have to sit still while mom teaches: Interesting to think that children in public school are required to sit in a desk, but homeschooling allows for individualization for each child. One might learn best sitting on an exercise ball. One might prefer math on the couch while another thinks the table is grand. In my home, it's almost all done at the table because that's what works - but if I had a child who couldn't sit still, I wouldn't let that hold me back from teaching them while they stand (or whatever works).
Now all of that said, I would never, NEVER tell you that you're ripping off your child by sending him to public school. I truly believe that God has a plan for each of our lives and that those plans DO NOT look identical. We are all made so differently. We all have strengths and weaknesses and He is so good to help us work with all of that and give us wisdom to do what is right for our families. I would ask, however, that you would afford the same respect. You can disagree with the way another parent is doing it without going point by point and letting them know exactly what all they are doing wrong.
Good job Jen. I too have had questions as to why I am not homeschooling my youngest, especially with the way some people see publics schools today. I have many of the same feelings about why I don't homeschool as you, most are about me personally and the way my personality and my child's personality interact with each other. I find it very interesting that homeschool parents feel the right to defend their choice to homeschool but when public school parents do the same there seems to be an attack against that choice. You expressed yourself and defended your choice very well and there should be no need for someone to " correct" your opinion.
ReplyDeleteJen, I wouldn't get to caught up in other peoples oppinions and what have you not...the bottom line is we are American and we have the right to post what we want when we want...and I BELIEVE WHATS WRONG WITH AMERICA TODAY!!! IS ALL THESE A-HOLE SAY'S YOU GOTTA BE PC.. I AM INTITLED TO MY OPINION AND YOU ARE INTITLED YOU YOURS.. IF THEY DONT LIKE IT DONT READ IT!!! With love Lori
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