Yesterday, my day started off with witnessing a married woman standing with another man talking and laughing with him out in front of the school. The man was NOT her husband, just a dad (possibly married as well) dropping off his child. Misleading....
Later when I was at the gym, I heard this guy in one sentence refer to 'his old lady'...and the next minute, he was obviously checking out some woman in the gym. He was very obvious with his head turn & head tilted down. Repulsive...
So these two incidences made me wonder:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?????
Are people not taking their wedding vows seriously???? So you say, 'Jen, what's the big deal...they're just talking and looking?'
I ask: What's going on in their hearts, minds, and lives?
Obviously with this guy at the gym...It's LUST in it's most raw, obvious form. With the woman, I believe there is a void in her own marriage that she would need to stand on the corner and talk with some guy.
Now, before you want to argue with me...I will tell you that before Christ, I was that woman, but NOT married at the time. I love to talk...in general. I do now...and did then, that part hasn't seemed to change since getting saved.
But just as now, then I had so many ideas, thoughts, dreams, and ambitions, but most women clocked out when I talked. Plus, I happen to not be ugly...so my biggest audience was...MEN.
I had a lot of 'guy friends' back then too. But I will confirm that there was always some underlying, not so pure attraction going on, on one side or the other. Just being honest. This is why, now, saved...I am very adamant to not make friends with men.
Many of them do not hold to the same standard of morals as I. Many do not FEAR the Lord as I...and I know that the devil goes around prowling like a lion looking for (a weak) someone to devour.
Sadly too....I've heard that divorce is now common in the 'world'. And even in dating relationships, where a woman believes it's monogamous, they are catching their boyfriends texting other women...seeing other women. What has happened to our society's standards? (Oh mercy...If I was single now...2012...I'm pretty sure I would be sworn to celibacy and committed to being a missionary for life.)
One of my thoughts is how these Bachelor/Bachelorette shows are so popular...Really? How can a man find someone to commit to when he's dating 10 women at one time? Leave it to TV/Media to promote lust, promiscuity, and adultery!!!!
Another thought, how can a spouse be completely committed to their spouse if they have 10 friends of the opposite sex texting and talking to them all the time? When will they have time to connect with their spouse?
I do NOT have men friends (in real life...I have some men FB friends that my husband monitors....). I have a pastor that counsels me some....and I have a brother-in-law. That's about all the men (besides my father-in-law) that I really engage in conversation with on a regular basis. And those 3 love my husband dearly. In fact I met the 3 of them because of my husband!
I don't know...I'm rambling...although I do feel better. Now, how to land the plane?
My take is that too many married people are not staying committed to their vows and letting room into their lives for drama by letting people of the opposite sex in. I remember working at the church, where the pastors were all about getting women to counsel women. Men do not need to be in a position of being the person a woman (married or not) turns to for every meltdown for comfort.
Something intimately happens when we share our real feelings...
and we don't need to be having intimate moments
with people who are not our spouses.
This reminds me of why I married Dave. I was at a point in my life where we had become really good friends. We had lunch together after church...we served together at our youth ministry night, would stand around and talk afterwards. He would pray for me a lot. (Special note: Something intimate happens when men and women pray together, for each other...a lot.)
I found myself in a quandry in my season of singleness saying: "What am I going to do if I ever get married? I won't be able to be friends with Dave."
Lesson here: I understood that my friendship with Dave would not be appropriate if I were to be a married woman (to someone else).
What happened? Well, one day...I just randomly had the solution to my quandry:
If I don't know what to do about Dave,
and would die if I had to give him up as a friend....
WHY NOT MARRY HIM????
Well, long story short: Dave and I will celebrate our 7th year married in 6 months!!! And I will say, this year has been, by far, the best year!!!!
So what does this mean for those who are married?
- Be wise, protect your marriage.
- Do not have deep, intimate, long conversations with people of the opposite sex.
- Do not allow others of the opposite sex to be under the impression you're not married.
- Don't make your new best friend some one of the opposite sex.
- Stop checking out people of the opposite sex, don't disrespect your spouse!
THE MOUTH OF AN ADULTERSS IS A DEEP PIT;
HE WHO IS CURSED OF THE LORD WILL FALL INTO IT.
Proverbs 22:14
For those who aren't married:
- Don't pursue friendships with married people of the opposite sex.
- Make friends with single people of the opposite sex, if you must.
- Don't set out to cause a married person to struggle in their commitment to their spouse by being a distraction and yearning for their attention.
- Find someone of the same sex to confide in, find comfort in, and hang out with, married people of the opposite sex are off limits!
HE WHO LOVES PURITY OF HEART,
AND WHOSE SPEECH IS GRACIOUS, THE KING IS HIS FRIEND.
Proverbs 22:11
Folks, it's time to get wise. I remember when I was dating Dave before we got married. I had many wise, elders, pastors, and friends remind us to not be alone, late at night for the sake of being wise and not allowing ourselves to be in a tempting situation.
They would remind me, if it was midnight, with my car parked outside his house before we were married....what did that communicate? What it communicated and what was the truth was not the same. I am proud to say that David and I "abstained" from 'relations' until our wedding night. Really, believe it or not...We did and I see God's blessing in our marriage for it.
See folks, God rewards the pure (heart, body and mind, I'll add)...
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God" - Matthew 5:8
To recap:
- Married men and women - IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO COUNSEL downtrodden people of the opposite sex. Be wise to NOT let people of the opposite sex in.
- Unmarried men and women - Keep your eyes in your head, maintain purity, get rid of the lust. Then, maybe then when you meet a single person, you can have a healthy, pure relationship.
Promiscuity, lust, and emotional voids are attacking our marriages...do what you have to to protect your marriage!!!!
- Pray hard.
- Be wise.
- Seek counseling when you need it.
- Keep a tight walk with the Lord!
No comments:
Post a Comment