Collins establishes what the Bible says in regards
to sex within marriage and verses that pertain to sexual immorality. And his 5
points on the sinfulness of ‘sex apart from marriage’ are true. However, in
counseling appointments, a counselor must be sensitive to when they offer certain scripture passages.
Yes, it is true that ‘sex apart from marriage is
sinful’[1].
Many acknowledge sincere intentions of fidelity in their wedding vows by their
commitment to: “I promise to be faithful to you”; “And hereto I pledge you my
faithfulness”; “I will care for you, honor and protect you. I lay down my life
for you, my friend and my love. Today I give to you me”.[2]
But along the way, people’s intentions soon become diluted, as discussed in ‘Causes
and Effects’.
I do see the need to admonish counselees with
scripture, such as those found in 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11:
Or
do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do
not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor
effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor
revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of
you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in
the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.
But it’s all about
timing with powerful verses likes this. For example, a counselor would not
offer this verse at the initial appointment, or those that immediately follow.
A heart that is hardened enough to forsake wedding vows and partake in sex
apart from marriage needs some work done to it before it can receive such
blatant, corrective verses. First Corinthians 6:18 is another great verse to
share: “Flee immorality. Every other sin
that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his
own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who
is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” This
verse is very applicable to those indulging in premarital, as well as
extramarital sexual relationships. However, I believe a key point of this
particular verse is that ‘the Holy Spirit is in you’ the counselee and that
their body ‘is a temple of God’s’. Personalizing the Spirit of God would be
more effective in moving their minds off pleasing themselves and their lust,
and setting their mind on pleasing God. This verse would be more impactful when
they have a deeper revelation of God’s love for them and the forgiveness He
offers.
Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates His own love toward
us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” is a great verse
to remind the counselee that despite their current sinful behaviors, Christ
still loves them, and it is their sinful nature that He died for. We need to
win their hearts for Christ. Taking counselees by the hand to discovery the
heart of God will be beneficial and powerful to move them to repentance.
When their hearts
desire to please God, they are more ready to be obedient to what the Bible says
in regards to their sinful behavior. But unless they have a sincere longing to
please God, direct, black and white, absolute verses may fall on deaf ears. But
we are moving our counselee toward a long-term change of their thinking, and so
their spiritual walks need a long-term change of understanding and discipline. When
people encounter the Spirit of God and His presence, they are more likely to desire
those long-term changes. And that’s the goal: change counselees thinking to
change their behavior.
RIGHT????? Does this make sense? Do you think this would be a good tactic?
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