A Strength can be a Weakness?????

Are you one who has some amazing qualities? They set you apart? You receive many accolades for them?

For those who really know me, know that I am...ummm...'unique'. Let's call it unique...huh? ;)

There are some traits in me that have sent me ahead of others. My ambitious drive, my commitment to excellence, my ability to take inititative,  my passion, focus, discipline, and determination - all seem to set me apart from the rest.

However, in the scope of the season I am in now, these strengths create a weakness in me.

Contradictory? I know. How can things that seem so good about me, not be good for me?

These strengths fly in full force in a work environment. They are highly necessary to remain efficient in the work force. I worked many years before having kids, and that's where my strengths became fully engaged and brought job security for that season of life.

Now, I am in a new season of life, a.k.a. MOTHERHOOD, where these strengths make me vulnerable. How? Read on.

Two Reasons:

1. Staying home is not easy for me. I am trying to learn how to turn determination and drive into motivating forces in the training and raising up of my kids. Attempting to discipline myself to focused on completing the chores around the house with excellence. Trying to take initiative in setting my kids up for success academically, as well as spiritually. This is not an easy task as HOME is not an environment that is conducive to drive, concentration, and ambition for me. I become vulnerable because I'm out of my element.
2. Since these traits are chomping at the bit to be used/released, I try to seize every opportunity to let them take charge and take me to the next level - OUTSIDE of the home. Here is where I become vulnerable because they take my focus and attention away from my kids.

My KIDS - they are the very reason why I am at home! Why is this it taking so long to sink into my hard head?

This particular chapter of my stay-at-home-chapter of life is soon becoming it's own volume. Since the day I started this chapter with my first son 5 years ago, I have longed for the day to go back to work. Yes...LONGED. So sad I know.

Many plans are in a man's heart,

But the counsel of the LORD will stand.

Proverbs 19:21

The beauty of having such a deep relationship with God, and the benefit of being so passionate for God's will for my life is that above all these strengths and desires to do more for others, work again, is that God has the final say-so.

What He says, I do!

It is apparent that these wonderful strengths that would move me up a corporate ladder swiftly. However, they are the very things that make me weak in answering the call to being a mom FIRST.

In this discovery and understanding of myself, I've set my husband as my accountability partner to not let myself take me far off base....HOME - BASE.

Listed in my office/study is a white board with my priorities written on it:

God - Devotional Time

Dave

Boys

School

Fitness

Everything else

The top 3 cannot compromise - they are main focuses in this season of life. So, in making decisions...I must come back to these top 3 and if my decision led by ME takes me away from fulfilling my commitment to them....well, we know what the decision must be, right?