Dear David,
In the last three days, your absence did not go unnoticed.
Thursday night, we went to the gym. We left the empty house, only to come home and hustle bustle to bed. I was then too tired to notice you were not there to hold me. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Although, I definitely missed our coffee time in the a.m. on Friday for sure. As it became lighter outside, my heart began to long for you. Prayer time that follows our little pep talk, chit chat was so needed. Although, I'm not sure if it was your prayers I missed...or your voice that I needed to hear.
I really appreciate it when you are here to stay with Jacob while I take Daniel to school. It is a fiasco to get him to walk and cooperate in a timely manner when dropping off Daniel. Although last Friday, we were running on time, in time for some playtime for school started...then, the fit began, as you know, young siblings cannot play on the playground at school. Jacob doesn't know the difference, he couldn't understand, he thought we went to the park. I really missed you in that meltdown moment...especially in front of the 50+ parents.
My day seemed off balanced from the start. I did not rush home to you, to fix your lunch, fold your undershirt's sleeves up and get a hug good-bye. I did however spend the entire day with my mom, which she's a great listener and let me share my wild ideas for Jesus with her, just as you do.
Friday night was, bleh. I was grumpy. Poor boys. I think they missed you for their bathtime. I appreciate you being here to do that. They appreciate that you are much more pleasant than I by the end of the day. You are so helpful with the boys.
Friday, I couldn't wait to go to bed, this meant one less night without you.
Saturday started off rough. I made a whole pot of coffee to share with you, however you were not here to drink it. Needless to say, too much coffee left me with a shaky morning. I was diligent to pay bills, start laundry. I was excited to have all the dirty clothes washed, dried, folded AND putaway before you got home. You know I love deadlines.
While I got some chores done, fit the gym in, and did some grocery shopping, I truly did not know what to do with myself Saturday. I had a bad case of ADD. I did however capitalize on less food to make by having an easy lunch and dinner.
I made myself relax as I laid on the sofa to watch a movie with the boys. Their cuddles were so needed. Actually, I loved that more than the movie.
I don't think you would've cared much for this movie choice, although Daniel is adamant on you seeing it for the sake of the hilarious 'farting'/'blowing it up in the bathroom' scene. Your son has such a funny sense of humor, he must be related to you.
Unfortunately, by 7 p.m. on Saturday, in the midst of hustling with the laundry, I found myself actually dreading night time, bedtime. Must have been the near full pot of coffee from the a.m. still in effect because I was not tired.
Thankfully I reached out to Tammy to share how badly I was missing you. She and I texted back and forth as I got the boys ready for bed. It was just what the doctor ordered!
I didn't realize it until this morning that I was really starting to feel lonely. I truly am convinced that 3 nights without you is my max at this point.
I was so lonely last night that I didn't even preset the coffee pot for fresh coffee today. No one to share it with. I just heated up the small cup left at the bottom.
Yes, you know I have been praying for you to get the deer and 2 pigs. Jacob prayed you would get a bear. I told God, please Lord, make this trip worth it and fill my freezer with meat!
I love that you went on your endeavor. I don't love the part that you were out of cell phone range for 3 days though. Thus why I don't think I can emotionally handle a longer trip yet, for the simple fact that I cannot talk to you while you are ravaging the mountain side for fresh kill!
I was surprised of how lonely I grew last night. You know me, I'm a loner. I usually do very well alone. But as I reflect over it, I become so relieved that I missed you so bad because it's a great indicator of how wonderful it is with you. I longed for you, pretty intensely!
I did stay up late, in attempt to avoid the empty bed. I started some writing of my thesis. Tried to utilize my wakefulness and be productive.
Upon rising today, I was so thankful I made it to Sunday. I am so thankful I will see you in just a few hours. I am thankful that Favour and Divine are going with us to church and I will be less distracted and have a reason to get up and get in gear. No time to be lonely, discouraged, or lazy today.
This whole 'one flesh' thing is crazy. It's wonderful to long for you. It's wonderful to greatly anticipate your return home. It's great to miss you. It's great to love you, and be loved so much by you.
I've got a steak thawing out for you today. And I have mushrooms to sautee with some onions to top it. I can't wait to see you, cook dinner for you, hug you, and hear about your adventure up in the mountains/hills looking for a deer and 2 pigs.
I love you, have missed you...and can't wait to see you today!
Love....your wife:
Jen
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