As a project of sacrificing something and challenging myself with something that some would not consider - I deactivated my FB account for a bit. Maybe my 'personal one' infinitely...
Here was my journaling of the week that I logged off. Just in case you were curious...
Day One of Social Media Fast – December 29, 2012
This included: blogging, FB, and uploading YouTube videos.
After realizing that FB really antagonized a situation with
some people by what was received as passive-aggressive posts, I decided that I was done with FB being a
thorn in my flesh. Why have I gotten out of keeping in touch with my friends,
the good ‘ol way – by phone and in person? Most of my closes FB friends I can
text, so why do I waste so much time on there? I spend too much time trying to
come up with something witty, thought-provoking, or family related. And then, I
login to see who said what and if I need to respond. Where did all this time
come from to be doing this? Fact is I can’t afford to spend time on FB.
Especially with the next season of thesis-writing and trying to work part-time
on the horizon.
This week is to wean myself off of it. I would say at this
time, I spend at least one whole hour a day checking in on the haps on my FB
page. But I procrastinate folding laundry and doing other much needed
priorities just to ‘check in’.
I need to start working on sections of my thesis…and I have
some new goals for the new year with my kids. So, since deactivating my account
today, I was able to do some office work for my brother-in-law, grocery shop,
and run errands. Came home to fix my kids’ lunch, do ear candling for my
husband, and barbequed chicken for dinner. To round out the day, I completely
decluttered and organized my office. It’s now very refreshing and now conducive
to concentrated study and research.
Knowing that I need to start my thesis project, I need a
‘new’ environment…so I did just that tonight in two hours. I feel productive,
refreshed, more confident and satisfied. And now I enjoy being in my office
again…It’s clean and crisp to let the Spirit flow and God’s voice be heard.
Also tonight, an amazing invitation came for Dave to go on a
medical mission trip to Haiti and take the special ‘staph wrap’ that his
brother has invested in. It’s a bandage-type wrap that has been clinically
proven to heal staph infections by the silver threading in it. Now, my husband
must hear God confirming to go. This would be an amazing, energizing trip that
would transform my husband’s walk in the Lord and catapult him toward his
calling. Although, it is very dangerous, we trust to hear God’s confirmation to
go or stay.
Day Two of Social Media Fast – December 30, 2012
It’s amazing the time you have when logged off all your
‘accounts’. This morning God ministered to me about a devastating mistake I
made this week.
I also read a chapter in a book I intend to use in my
thesis, and as inspiration for a ministry idea. In it, I heard the story of
Jonathan Edward’s rejection when he had shared that communion was not for the
unconverted. He was basically ousted out of his thriving church because people
didn’t agree with this interpretation. It seems to parallel something I did. Yet, after 4 days of
sobbing, I have no choice but to do as Psalm 27:6: “And now my head will be lifted up
above my enemies around me”…v. 13, “I would have despaired unless I had
believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord”. God truly comforted me
with this verse prior to reading about Jonathan Edwards, who endured criticism
for quoting scripture.
My conclusion today: no matter how many critics we have,
whether we have truly failed, or are trying to do right, but fail others' expectations, our hope is in
the Lord. We must endure the suffering and hear from the Lord immediately to
rise above the adversity and discouragement. I am confident that God will
continue to minister to me about the incidence and show me more things. But
today, I was comforted by stories of great men who failed or were rejected. God will cause all things to work together for good. I was
encouraged by a pastor this week, Romans 8:28 works 100% of the time when
bathing an incident with prayer and seeking God. So I lift my head up and look
for the Romans 8:28 by claiming a friend’s final decision for Christ as the final redemptive solution. Thank you Lord for your encouragement. You are truly so good
to me. I love you.
Note: Daily I spend time with God…but often times, if I sit
down at the computer to look something up on a website like blueletterbible.com
or something, I open up my FB page to see if anyone has messaged me, and while
it may only be 5-10 minutes, it’s still 5-10 minutes I could’ve spent diving in
deeper into the Word!
Here’s a random blurb I found after googling ‘Van Gogh’, a
very zealous man for God actually:
“purposefully isolating themselves from the world so that they can heal their emotional wounds and eventually re-emerge to be of service. They focus on the spiritual process because they know that if they do that the outcome will take care of itself.” (http://rossbishop.com/blog/tag/creativity/) This was said in the context of people seeking restoration in solitude. Interesting that monks retreated to monasteries, but in this technologically advanced society, we can unplug from ‘social media’ and open the gates for the same kind of soul-healing peace to come in. Interesting, huh? This is just one more thing I came across looking up Van Gogh who was mentioned in my book that I was reading today. A confirmation of the need to unplug for growth!
“purposefully isolating themselves from the world so that they can heal their emotional wounds and eventually re-emerge to be of service. They focus on the spiritual process because they know that if they do that the outcome will take care of itself.” (http://rossbishop.com/blog/tag/creativity/) This was said in the context of people seeking restoration in solitude. Interesting that monks retreated to monasteries, but in this technologically advanced society, we can unplug from ‘social media’ and open the gates for the same kind of soul-healing peace to come in. Interesting, huh? This is just one more thing I came across looking up Van Gogh who was mentioned in my book that I was reading today. A confirmation of the need to unplug for growth!
Highlight of my day: taking the boys to Barnes & Noble
bookstore, jumping in the trampoline with them, and drawing pictures at the
kitchen table. And tonight, with no FB to distract me, my husband and I are
setting goals.
Day Three of Social
Media Fast – December 31, 2012
The days seem longer, more productive, and more peaceful. I
realize that getting on FB first thing in the morning, in the kitchen after
pouring my cup of coffee had become a morning habit. I relate it to the smoker
who has to have a cigarette as one of their first things…just as a cup of
coffee is my very first thing. This few minutes of FB first thing was becoming
an extension of my morning coffee routine. The problem is that it stirred up
some of my flesh first thing. FB can be a positive thing, and a negative one.
It’s easy to think that ‘I will just check my messages real quick’, only to
think 10 minutes have slipped by. Why? Because I took note of who took down
their Christmas décor first? Who was having meatballs for dinner? That is
benign info that does keep me in the know of my friends and peers. But,
unfortunately my highly opinionated, passionate convictions cause me fail in my
reaction when ‘statuses’ sit in political or moral opposition of my value
system. These opposing views create antagonistic feelings in me and the desire
to ‘correct’ the person. Whether I act on those feelings or not, I don’t like
that feeling of ‘injustice’. My conclusion is that if I had a less-passionate,
more phlegmatic personality, FB could actually be fun. But it ends up igniting
my injustice flame and I burn with aggravation at the ‘state of society’. My
heart struggles with the desire to steer society back on course toward God, the
information kindles prayer for God’s revelation for a ministry to help, and I
intercede for God’s forgiveness for our nation/people/body of Christ. The times
I do give into my flesh and respond to an update, well then there more time is
eaten by me taking a minute or two to see the other person’s responses. If I
check back 5 times throughout the day…that’s 10 minutes. Here is 20 minutes now
lost to cyberspace. How much more return on my time could I get from reading to
my boys for that 20 minutes?
Which, this brings up another emotion that FB brings to my
life. See, while I may spend an hour or less, spread throughout the day on FB…I
always feel guilty of ‘wasting precious time and robbing my precious ones’. The
cycle goes: check for messages, update status, check notifications, respond to
someone else, come across a comment I disagree with, express my frustration,
and log off…and walk away frustrated with ‘people’…and now totally completely
frustrated with myself.
What’s interesting is the last time I had this much
frustration with myself was when I was trying to kick an addiction, nearly 10
years ago. So then, question: am I addicted to FB? You wouldn’t say 1 hr. over
the day is addiction. But do the effects of it, the habit of it, and guilt over
it reveal it may be? Hmmm. Nevertheless, I am breaking it this week. Addiction
or benign habit – either way I want to get over it. It hasn’t been edifying to
me. I’m tired of the love/hate relationship with FB. I’m like Paul, when he
said, “I do the very thing I don’t want to do”, found in Romans 7:15. (Thank you Paul for that verse!)
On a high note, with the distraction ‘logged off’ I have had
some great thoughts regarding a ministry idea that I feel God has placed on my
heart, something that the little few minutes of FB would derail and my spirit would miss. I am so glad to
concentrate on ‘fasting’ from social media, namely Facebook this week. This may
turn out to be my best week since creating my Facebook page, March 2009.
Day Four of Social
Media Fast – January 1, 2013
Yes, this does continue to be the best week. I completely
decluttered two huge drawers in my kitchen last night in about 30-40 min.
Something I would have continued to procrastinate because my iPad sits on my
kitchen counter and when I walk in the kitchen, I sometimes check for
‘notifications’ on my FB. But not last night…after the boys and I had a New
Year’s Eve Dance Party, I got focused on a quick chore. It was so great to
handle something that has been nagging at me every time I open the drawer for
pen, a battery, or tin foil. Not anymore.
This morning turned out to be a great morning of waking up
at 4:45 a.m., I spent the time I waited for the coffeemaker to brew my coffee,
folding laundry. Another 10-15 minutes I saved and turned into productivity.
See, it’s just as I thought, FB does distract me away from the little chores I
need to do. Feeling so productive. The longer I am away from it, the better I
feel about myself, the more decluttered the nooks and crannies are getting, and
the more peace I have.
Facebook represents a lot of different people and attitudes:
the negative, depressed, lazy, shopaholic, MLM fanatics, bored, fill in the
blank kind of people. There are also the positive people as well. But living a
semi-isolated life of being a stay at home mom, scrolling through all the status
updates opens the door for those nagging thoughts to rise up in me. I am a
better mom and wife without that distraction. It’s also been purifying my
conscience as I don’t have the stumbling block and temptation to be overly
opinionated that leads to being judgmental. I care about others…but I am not
spending my time worrying about everyone else. Just focused on the ones who
matter the most to me, and the ones I impact the most.
What a way to start the new year. Feeling productive, good
about myself, and with a laser-beam focus on my thesis. I have been utilizing
more time for the reading of a book that is truly inspire my heart for a
ministry for those hurt by the church. It’s been a great few days of revelation.
No FB has allowed for the first things that need to be done…done first.
FB is like alcohol, like money….in itself – it’s not sinful,
but it’s easy to be an idol and misdirect your precious attention, time and
energy.
So stoked that it is nearly 8 p.m. and everyone is ready for
bed. Instead of losing time on FB when the boys were napping and my husband was
working on a project, I finished another chapter in my book that is so amazing.
So glad I seized another opportunity to capitalize on a half hour of quiet time
for schoolwork. I am really hoping that I stick to this from here on out. I
love the productivity. It’s easy to have time management when you have less
time wasters seducing your attention.
Day 5 of Social
Media Fast – January 2, 2013
My prayer today was ‘Lord, please don’t ever let me go back
to Facebook’. I also realize that I let my kids watch too much t.v. themselves.
See, my struggle has been my conscience saying ‘this is too
much time your spending here, they’re spending there’…And then my flesh saying,
‘but it’s NOT AS MUCH as some people’. Woe to me. In my media-dependency, I
have let my kids watch some of their fave cartoons too much too. So today, I
endure 1-2 hours of my 5 year old whiny to watch something. And it ended with
me rebuking the devil, the spirits of boredom, self-pity, and media addiction.
My boys went all day until 7:00 p.m. without t.v. And, I found myself not
feeling awful about letting them watch something. And, they received it as a reward, instead of
this junk they are entitled to.
In addition to some of this revelation, when my husband and
I sat down to pray, he shared with me that he sees God in this ministry
idea/plan I have and that he does not want to be a stumbling block, and be my
#1 supporter. He said his prayers now are ‘God show me my role’. I’ve been praying that for the last few
months, ‘Lord cause Dave to seek you on his role with this ministry on our
horizon’. So just him beginning to pray is an answer to prayer. A major one. I
knew and know that I can delegate tasks all day for my husband to do as my
ministry partner, however, the bigger picture is that he has his own calling
and I believe he fits into the equation. Since his past wounds from ministry
leaders, it will take God to show him that His callings are irrevocable and
that God truly has a place and purpose for him, with me. It’s going to be
amazing. Now, God just needs to show him and give me a little direction too.
Awesome!
On the productive side, today I completely moved my 5 year
old into his brother’s room, the bigger room. (Daniel cannot go through the
night ‘alone’. He does have quite an imagination, and since Halloween, his
imagination runs wild. I’ve been ending up in his bed at night for the last 2
months. But it’s killing my back, and I miss my husband.) I set the bedroom up
so nice yesterday, have plans to redecorate it by the weekend…if the two boys
can actually share the room and it’s not a sleepover party in there every
night. We’ll see what happens.
Day 6 of Social
Media Fast – January 3, 2013
I am struggling back and forth with how I feel about myself.
How did I get dooped into wasting so much time online? Well, it started in
March of 2010 when I signed up with a MLM business who highly promoted being on
social media sites to stir up business and network. That’s when I got into the
routine of it. Now, for a future position with a company, I realize that I
could easily be the little social network status updater, blogger whatever,
since I did the heck out of it. Yet, in my own personal life, I have no desire
to be on there. Do I need to stay in the know of everyone’s life? Really? I see
that I did not have time before, and I’ve now entered a season of having less.
So how does keeping up with whose kids is potty trained, who is going on diet,
who got a new car, who is going on vacation, blah, blah, blah fit in? It
doesn’t. And I am happy to realize that. I am relieved. I feel set free. It’s
crazy!
Now my next challenge it to not so outwardly and
passionately spread the great news I’ve learned and come across condemning. I
look forward to staying in touch with people the more personal way, through
face-to-face, telephone, and even texting. I’m going to separate my ‘real
friends’ from my FB friends now.
Day 7 of Social
Media – January 4, 2013
What started out as a fast from social media, namely
Facebook…I’m finding that I no longer have a desire to log back on. I ran into
a friend at the grocery store this week that mentioned a mutual friend thought
I deleted her from my friend list. My sister called me and asked me if I
deleted her. I am the one deleted! And it feels so good. Yet, I do see a need
to email folks and let them know I am alive, as I had a friend call today and
leave a message to ‘see if I am okay’. Not being FB is a sign that something is
wrong? Hmmmm.
So crazy that it seems like it’s another social expectation
to be on FB. I just saw today this survey on www.georgebarna.org that a ‘new
temptation/sin’ is spending too much time on media, with 44% of Christians
struggling. Wow…watch out for the kids this 44% is raising. When I felt
convicted about just an hour a day of FB, spread over the day, people would
look at me like that was nothing. To me, that was too much. But, thankfully I
never loaded it up to my phone to avoid the temptation being on away from the
house.
I have gotten so much done around the house, my kitchen is
clean well before bedtime now. No chatting back and forth on posts plaguing our
nighttime routine. I no longer feel guilty for wasted time. I hate to waste
time. And most of it for me, was just that…wasted.
While I have received numerous encouragements that I say ‘just
the right thing someone needed at the moment’… ‘thanks for speaking the truth’….
‘thanks for challenging’ me and so on…I realize NOT ALL was a waste. Although,
I have reached a point where I need to focus more time and attention to my
final months of working on Master degree.
Dear Lord, thank you for showing me that while FB in itself
is not sinful, it becoming idolatrous is. Thank you for setting me free from
this idol trying to move in and take place of real friendshipsand time with my family.
With the time that I would be on FB, I did use it looking up
books for my advising class, some random googling for my thesis topic, things
that feed and grow my focus for ministry. I have been filled with so much
peace, no longer torn over ‘did I say that wrong’, ‘why am I friends w/ them
again?’…so many things I saw and read on FB were antagonizing. Not edifying to
my soul. Yet, I consider jumping on to let everyone know ‘all is well’. But I
refrain in hopes of seeing how long I can avoid it.
I will say that in the future for ministry purposes, I may
be back on to utilize. However ‘personal/leisure’ use is cut for now. Praise
the Lord that Jesus is Lord over my life and not Mark Zuckerberg!
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