Wednesday, January 9, 2013

HERE'S WHERE I'VE BEEN....

I've been offline. And it's been so refreshing. For the sake of letting my true friends who have text and called to see if I'm okay...here's my story of the last couple weeks.

As a project of sacrificing something and challenging myself with something that some would not consider - I deactivated my FB account for a bit. Maybe my 'personal one' infinitely...

Here was my journaling of the week that I logged off. Just in case you were curious...
 
Day One of Social Media Fast – December 29, 2012

This included: blogging, FB, and uploading YouTube videos.

After realizing that FB really antagonized a situation with some people by what was received as passive-aggressive posts, I decided that I was done with FB being a thorn in my flesh. Why have I gotten out of keeping in touch with my friends, the good ‘ol way – by phone and in person? Most of my closes FB friends I can text, so why do I waste so much time on there? I spend too much time trying to come up with something witty, thought-provoking, or family related. And then, I login to see who said what and if I need to respond. Where did all this time come from to be doing this? Fact is I can’t afford to spend time on FB. Especially with the next season of thesis-writing and trying to work part-time on the horizon.

This week is to wean myself off of it. I would say at this time, I spend at least one whole hour a day checking in on the haps on my FB page. But I procrastinate folding laundry and doing other much needed priorities just to ‘check in’.

I need to start working on sections of my thesis…and I have some new goals for the new year with my kids. So, since deactivating my account today, I was able to do some office work for my brother-in-law, grocery shop, and run errands. Came home to fix my kids’ lunch, do ear candling for my husband, and barbequed chicken for dinner. To round out the day, I completely decluttered and organized my office. It’s now very refreshing and now conducive to concentrated study and research.

Knowing that I need to start my thesis project, I need a ‘new’ environment…so I did just that tonight in two hours. I feel productive, refreshed, more confident and satisfied. And now I enjoy being in my office again…It’s clean and crisp to let the Spirit flow and God’s voice be heard.

Also tonight, an amazing invitation came for Dave to go on a medical mission trip to Haiti and take the special ‘staph wrap’ that his brother has invested in. It’s a bandage-type wrap that has been clinically proven to heal staph infections by the silver threading in it. Now, my husband must hear God confirming to go. This would be an amazing, energizing trip that would transform my husband’s walk in the Lord and catapult him toward his calling. Although, it is very dangerous, we trust to hear God’s confirmation to go or stay.

Day Two of Social Media Fast – December 30, 2012

It’s amazing the time you have when logged off all your ‘accounts’. This morning God ministered to me about a devastating mistake I made this week. 

I also read a chapter in a book I intend to use in my thesis, and as inspiration for a ministry idea. In it, I heard the story of Jonathan Edward’s rejection when he had shared that communion was not for the unconverted. He was basically ousted out of his thriving church because people didn’t agree with this interpretation. It seems to parallel something I did. Yet, after 4 days of sobbing, I have no choice but to do as Psalm 27:6: “And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me”…v. 13, “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord”. God truly comforted me with this verse prior to reading about Jonathan Edwards, who endured criticism for quoting scripture.

My conclusion today: no matter how many critics we have, whether we have truly failed, or are trying to do right, but fail others' expectations, our hope is in the Lord. We must endure the suffering and hear from the Lord immediately to rise above the adversity and discouragement. I am confident that God will continue to minister to me about the incidence and show me more things. But today, I was comforted by stories of great men who failed or were rejected. God will cause all things to work together for good. I was encouraged by a pastor this week, Romans 8:28 works 100% of the time when bathing an incident with prayer and seeking God. So I lift my head up and look for the Romans 8:28 by claiming a friend’s final decision for Christ as the final redemptive solution. Thank you Lord for your encouragement. You are truly so good to me. I love you.

Note: Daily I spend time with God…but often times, if I sit down at the computer to look something up on a website like blueletterbible.com or something, I open up my FB page to see if anyone has messaged me, and while it may only be 5-10 minutes, it’s still 5-10 minutes I could’ve spent diving in deeper into the Word!

Here’s a random blurb I found after googling ‘Van Gogh’, a very zealous man for God actually:
purposefully isolating themselves from the world so that they can heal their emotional wounds and eventually re-emerge to be of service. They focus on the spiritual process because they know that if they do that the outcome will take care of itself.” (
http://rossbishop.com/blog/tag/creativity/) This was said in the context of people seeking restoration in solitude. Interesting that monks retreated to monasteries, but in this technologically advanced society, we can unplug from ‘social media’ and open the gates for the same kind of soul-healing peace to come in. Interesting, huh? This is just one more thing I came across looking up Van Gogh who was mentioned in my book that I was reading today. A confirmation of the need to unplug for growth!

Highlight of my day: taking the boys to Barnes & Noble bookstore, jumping in the trampoline with them, and drawing pictures at the kitchen table. And tonight, with no FB to distract me, my husband and I are setting goals.

Day Three of Social Media Fast – December 31, 2012

The days seem longer, more productive, and more peaceful. I realize that getting on FB first thing in the morning, in the kitchen after pouring my cup of coffee had become a morning habit. I relate it to the smoker who has to have a cigarette as one of their first things…just as a cup of coffee is my very first thing. This few minutes of FB first thing was becoming an extension of my morning coffee routine. The problem is that it stirred up some of my flesh first thing. FB can be a positive thing, and a negative one. It’s easy to think that ‘I will just check my messages real quick’, only to think 10 minutes have slipped by. Why? Because I took note of who took down their Christmas décor first? Who was having meatballs for dinner? That is benign info that does keep me in the know of my friends and peers. But, unfortunately my highly opinionated, passionate convictions cause me fail in my reaction when ‘statuses’ sit in political or moral opposition of my value system. These opposing views create antagonistic feelings in me and the desire to ‘correct’ the person. Whether I act on those feelings or not, I don’t like that feeling of ‘injustice’. My conclusion is that if I had a less-passionate, more phlegmatic personality, FB could actually be fun. But it ends up igniting my injustice flame and I burn with aggravation at the ‘state of society’. My heart struggles with the desire to steer society back on course toward God, the information kindles prayer for God’s revelation for a ministry to help, and I intercede for God’s forgiveness for our nation/people/body of Christ. The times I do give into my flesh and respond to an update, well then there more time is eaten by me taking a minute or two to see the other person’s responses. If I check back 5 times throughout the day…that’s 10 minutes. Here is 20 minutes now lost to cyberspace. How much more return on my time could I get from reading to my boys for that 20 minutes?

Which, this brings up another emotion that FB brings to my life. See, while I may spend an hour or less, spread throughout the day on FB…I always feel guilty of ‘wasting precious time and robbing my precious ones’. The cycle goes: check for messages, update status, check notifications, respond to someone else, come across a comment I disagree with, express my frustration, and log off…and walk away frustrated with ‘people’…and now totally completely frustrated with myself.

What’s interesting is the last time I had this much frustration with myself was when I was trying to kick an addiction, nearly 10 years ago. So then, question: am I addicted to FB? You wouldn’t say 1 hr. over the day is addiction. But do the effects of it, the habit of it, and guilt over it reveal it may be? Hmmm. Nevertheless, I am breaking it this week. Addiction or benign habit – either way I want to get over it. It hasn’t been edifying to me. I’m tired of the love/hate relationship with FB. I’m like Paul, when he said, “I do the very thing I don’t want to do”, found in Romans 7:15. (Thank you Paul for that verse!)

On a high note, with the distraction ‘logged off’ I have had some great thoughts regarding a ministry idea that I feel God has placed on my heart, something that the little few minutes of FB would derail  and my spirit would miss. I am so glad to concentrate on ‘fasting’ from social media, namely Facebook this week. This may turn out to be my best week since creating my Facebook page, March 2009. 

Day Four of Social Media Fast – January 1, 2013

Yes, this does continue to be the best week. I completely decluttered two huge drawers in my kitchen last night in about 30-40 min. Something I would have continued to procrastinate because my iPad sits on my kitchen counter and when I walk in the kitchen, I sometimes check for ‘notifications’ on my FB. But not last night…after the boys and I had a New Year’s Eve Dance Party, I got focused on a quick chore. It was so great to handle something that has been nagging at me every time I open the drawer for pen, a battery, or tin foil. Not anymore.

This morning turned out to be a great morning of waking up at 4:45 a.m., I spent the time I waited for the coffeemaker to brew my coffee, folding laundry. Another 10-15 minutes I saved and turned into productivity. See, it’s just as I thought, FB does distract me away from the little chores I need to do. Feeling so productive. The longer I am away from it, the better I feel about myself, the more decluttered the nooks and crannies are getting, and the more peace I have.

Facebook represents a lot of different people and attitudes: the negative, depressed, lazy, shopaholic, MLM fanatics, bored, fill in the blank kind of people. There are also the positive people as well. But living a semi-isolated life of being a stay at home mom, scrolling through all the status updates opens the door for those nagging thoughts to rise up in me. I am a better mom and wife without that distraction. It’s also been purifying my conscience as I don’t have the stumbling block and temptation to be overly opinionated that leads to being judgmental. I care about others…but I am not spending my time worrying about everyone else. Just focused on the ones who matter the most to me, and the ones I impact the most.

What a way to start the new year. Feeling productive, good about myself, and with a laser-beam focus on my thesis. I have been utilizing more time for the reading of a book that is truly inspire my heart for a ministry for those hurt by the church. It’s been a great few days of revelation. No FB has allowed for the first things that need to be done…done first.

FB is like alcohol, like money….in itself – it’s not sinful, but it’s easy to be an idol and misdirect your precious attention, time and energy.

So stoked that it is nearly 8 p.m. and everyone is ready for bed. Instead of losing time on FB when the boys were napping and my husband was working on a project, I finished another chapter in my book that is so amazing. So glad I seized another opportunity to capitalize on a half hour of quiet time for schoolwork. I am really hoping that I stick to this from here on out. I love the productivity. It’s easy to have time management when you have less time wasters seducing your attention.

Day 5 of Social Media Fast – January 2, 2013

My prayer today was ‘Lord, please don’t ever let me go back to Facebook’. I also realize that I let my kids watch too much t.v. themselves.

See, my struggle has been my conscience saying ‘this is too much time your spending here, they’re spending there’…And then my flesh saying, ‘but it’s NOT AS MUCH as some people’. Woe to me. In my media-dependency, I have let my kids watch some of their fave cartoons too much too. So today, I endure 1-2 hours of my 5 year old whiny to watch something. And it ended with me rebuking the devil, the spirits of boredom, self-pity, and media addiction. My boys went all day until 7:00 p.m. without t.v. And, I found myself not feeling awful about letting them watch something.  And, they received it as a reward, instead of this junk they are entitled to.

In addition to some of this revelation, when my husband and I sat down to pray, he shared with me that he sees God in this ministry idea/plan I have and that he does not want to be a stumbling block, and be my #1 supporter. He said his prayers now are ‘God show me my role’.  I’ve been praying that for the last few months, ‘Lord cause Dave to seek you on his role with this ministry on our horizon’. So just him beginning to pray is an answer to prayer. A major one. I knew and know that I can delegate tasks all day for my husband to do as my ministry partner, however, the bigger picture is that he has his own calling and I believe he fits into the equation. Since his past wounds from ministry leaders, it will take God to show him that His callings are irrevocable and that God truly has a place and purpose for him, with me. It’s going to be amazing. Now, God just needs to show him and give me a little direction too. Awesome!

On the productive side, today I completely moved my 5 year old into his brother’s room, the bigger room. (Daniel cannot go through the night ‘alone’. He does have quite an imagination, and since Halloween, his imagination runs wild. I’ve been ending up in his bed at night for the last 2 months. But it’s killing my back, and I miss my husband.) I set the bedroom up so nice yesterday, have plans to redecorate it by the weekend…if the two boys can actually share the room and it’s not a sleepover party in there every night. We’ll see what happens.

Day 6 of Social Media Fast – January 3, 2013

I am struggling back and forth with how I feel about myself. How did I get dooped into wasting so much time online? Well, it started in March of 2010 when I signed up with a MLM business who highly promoted being on social media sites to stir up business and network. That’s when I got into the routine of it. Now, for a future position with a company, I realize that I could easily be the little social network status updater, blogger whatever, since I did the heck out of it. Yet, in my own personal life, I have no desire to be on there. Do I need to stay in the know of everyone’s life? Really? I see that I did not have time before, and I’ve now entered a season of having less. So how does keeping up with whose kids is potty trained, who is going on diet, who got a new car, who is going on vacation, blah, blah, blah fit in? It doesn’t. And I am happy to realize that. I am relieved. I feel set free. It’s crazy!

Now my next challenge it to not so outwardly and passionately spread the great news I’ve learned and come across condemning. I look forward to staying in touch with people the more personal way, through face-to-face, telephone, and even texting. I’m going to separate my ‘real friends’ from my FB friends now.

Day 7 of Social Media – January 4, 2013

What started out as a fast from social media, namely Facebook…I’m finding that I no longer have a desire to log back on. I ran into a friend at the grocery store this week that mentioned a mutual friend thought I deleted her from my friend list. My sister called me and asked me if I deleted her. I am the one deleted! And it feels so good. Yet, I do see a need to email folks and let them know I am alive, as I had a friend call today and leave a message to ‘see if I am okay’. Not being FB is a sign that something is wrong? Hmmmm.

So crazy that it seems like it’s another social expectation to be on FB. I just saw today this survey on www.georgebarna.org that a ‘new temptation/sin’ is spending too much time on media, with 44% of Christians struggling. Wow…watch out for the kids this 44% is raising. When I felt convicted about just an hour a day of FB, spread over the day, people would look at me like that was nothing. To me, that was too much. But, thankfully I never loaded it up to my phone to avoid the temptation being on away from the house.

I have gotten so much done around the house, my kitchen is clean well before bedtime now. No chatting back and forth on posts plaguing our nighttime routine. I no longer feel guilty for wasted time. I hate to waste time. And most of it for me, was just that…wasted.

While I have received numerous encouragements that I say ‘just the right thing someone needed at the moment’… ‘thanks for speaking the truth’…. ‘thanks for challenging’ me and so on…I realize NOT ALL was a waste. Although, I have reached a point where I need to focus more time and attention to my final months of working on Master degree.

Dear Lord, thank you for showing me that while FB in itself is not sinful, it becoming idolatrous is. Thank you for setting me free from this idol trying to move in and take place of real friendshipsand time with my family.

With the time that I would be on FB, I did use it looking up books for my advising class, some random googling for my thesis topic, things that feed and grow my focus for ministry. I have been filled with so much peace, no longer torn over ‘did I say that wrong’, ‘why am I friends w/ them again?’…so many things I saw and read on FB were antagonizing. Not edifying to my soul. Yet, I consider jumping on to let everyone know ‘all is well’. But I refrain in hopes of seeing how long I can avoid it.

I will say that in the future for ministry purposes, I may be back on to utilize. However ‘personal/leisure’ use is cut for now. Praise the Lord that Jesus is Lord over my life and not Mark Zuckerberg!

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