This is the beginning of the end....

Wow...I am amazed that it is actually taking this long. Aren't you?

For those who have fallen victim to spiritual abuse, hopefully the following post will validate what you feel and will comfort you in some way.

This spring I turned in a thesis for my Master degree titled:

SPIRITUAL ABUSE:CREATES A NEED FOR A COUNSELING AND RESTORATIVE MINISTRY TO BRING HOPE TO THOSE WHO ARE HURT BY THE CHURCH

Can you believe it? Believers hurt believers? It's a phenomenon that I cannot wrap my mind around. Now, to qualify, this is not a silly disagreement, or doctrinal differences I'm talking about.

Actual SPIRITUAL ABUSE is much more devastating than that. I'm talking about where church leaders have misused their authority as a pastor to control, manipulate people for their own sordid gain.

From the book "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse" by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen, here is a quick list of dynamics to identify whether or not you are in an abusive system/church:

1. Power-Posturing: Leaders spend a lot of time focused on their own authority and remind other of it. The pastor may say, "In this flock, I'm the chief shepherd". Pastor who have true spiritual authority do not have to demand others to notice and set  people spiritually free, not tie in bondage.
2. Performance Preoccupation: Leaders spend time preoccupied with performance of their numbers...Obedience and submission are two words often used to control people and preserve attendance. Obedience and submission to the Lord and the Bible is important, not a man's interpretation, opinion, or personal theology.
3. Unspoken Rules: Leaders use spoken and unspoken rules to control the congregations lives. This is unhealthy. Many times people don't know what the rules are until they break one. Some abusive systems have a rule to 'never disagree with the pastor on his sermons'. Punishment often follows breaking unspoken rules unintentionally by either neglect (being ignored, overlooked, shunned) or aggressive legalism (questioned, openly censured, asked to leave).  Abusive churches have a pretend peace because of their 'can't talk rule'.
4. Lack of balance: Leaders here are objective in that what they interpret from God is superior, this often limits God. This puts God in a box. Leaders also forge ahead with 'spiritual revelation for people'...this environment seduces people to act according to the 'word' from the leader and not necessarily to the actual Bible. (Personal observation: Although, this superiority complex leader is often claiming to NOT put God in a box. However, when he/she is controlling the people...keeping them in a box, he/she is primarily limiting the power of the Holy Spirit living inside each person they are control. They are consistently keeping God in their own box.)

The problem with all these rules and the performance driven, power posturing imbalance of leadership is it creates an environment that actually keeps people from leaving...in all the controlling words blasted from the pulpit, the congregation leads a life of thinking their church is the best, the only one that hears God, the only one God uses, the only one that truly can lead people through a prayer to salvation. I do not see this as truth...this is deviant from the word of God.

According to Johnson and Van Vonderen, here are some characteristics of how the abusive spiritual system/church keeps people entangled and controlled:

1. Paranoia: This assumption that what this church says, knows, or does is a result of being more enlightened than others and others will not understand or will ridicule you...this persecution sensitivity builds a case for keeping everything within the system to isolate the abuser from scrutiny and accountability. This keeps people wounded. Creating fear is an often used tactic to keep people quiet and misled.
2. Misplaced Loyalty: Scare tactics are used of "losing God's blessing if you leave this church". These churches may even have you sign a loyalty statement, this is man legislating their power and control over you. These leaders may use humiliation to control by shaming, exposing, or threatening to remove you from the group. (Again this is all MISUSED AND ABUSED AUTHORITY).
3. Secretive: It's the IMAGE CONSCIOUS abusive leaders that HIDE their inappropriate behavior. This is why they oust or threaten others who may expose their sinfulness and controlling decisions/behaviors. (Some of these kinds of leaders actually avoid any confrontation with people who refuse to take the abuse/treatment.)

The dynamics and characteristics above exist in SPIRITUALLY ABUSIVE SYSTEMS. Get the book yourself and read it. It's a very real thing...I am not coming up with this stuff!

I did the research. I've seen the writing on the walls of such a system myself. For those of you who have been hurt by such a church...Trust me when I say: GOD IS NOT PLEASED.

I know in the fog of the hurt, pain and rejection, you want to punch the next person who quotes the scripture: Vengeance is mine, thus says the Lord, right?

But trust me, this is the beginning of the end for the abusive system/church that hurt you. The one that chewed you up and spit you out.

I have sat and scratched my head and said, "Surely the Holy Spirit is convicting them"...But over and over it continues to happen. I hear the excuse, "they don't know they are doing this". I call boloney on that! I rebuttal to these obvious, innocently deceived victims, "They have to know - they (supposedly) have the Holy Spirit...the Spirit knows...and the Spirit convicts people of this kind of behavior."

REVELATION: God reminded me of how the average person becomes dead to the Spirit's conviction on the sins they refuse to repent of. Now, repentance is NOT just asking God to forgive...it's actually STOPPING THE SINFUL BEHAVIOR. Sooooo, these abusive leaders that are continuing to hurt people over, and over, and over, and, yes - over again...must be dead to the conviction of the Spirit of God.

I've asked many times, "What now?" And now I find my new question to be:

Is this the point where God turns these individuals

over to their depraved mind?

Then what? We will see the walls fall down, the church building of these abusive people will become a desolate place. God's ultimate vindication for the hurt people who have been displaced and dispersed will come.

If this is you, if you've been hurt by 'the church', a pastor, a leader misusing their authority to control, manipulate or reject you....Warning: Get ready to have the hardest season of your life. This season will not be easy...but trust me when I say that because of your faithfulness, God will redeem you! God will restore you! He is our Redeemer and Restorer. Whatever you do, don't throw in your towel with your relationship with GOD!!!! You will have such a testimony at the end of this and God will give you an even greater cause, purpose, and ministry. God's justice will bring you into an even greater territory if you DO NOT GIVE UP! (on Him!)

Yes, get out and away from the abusive church. But keep in touch with the Lord through your devotional life and people who are compassionate and supportive and loving of you and accepting of your dilemma.

I am in the midst of building a ministry for you, the hurt and broken. My goal is to provide a safe environment that will NOT control you, but offer safety and freedom to experience the presence of God. His Presence is what heals, transforms, and renews.

My heart breaks for you. I know where you have been and where you are. Your emotions are real. It is truly an injustice. Those who have hurt you are not representing our Lord Jesus Christ properly...they are in fact grieving the Holy Spirit.

And this, my friend, I sadly declare is the beginning of the end of such ministries.