Are you ruled by fear?

Many of our communication styles are impacted by fear. It was explained to me this week that in a marriage, many wives/husbands communicate from the role of a parent...and this comes from fear.

Attempts to be controlling over spouse and hovering over children is usually motivated by fear. Not an ill-nature...always.

Unfortunately and humbly, I admit that this can be me.

Today I sat very transparent with the Lord sharing the things that I fear...Here are a few of the things that can really impede my peace of mind:

• My husband having preventable disease and being unhealthy.
• Me not fulfilling the role of a godly mother to raise my boys to love and serve God.
• My husband dying young (40s-50s).
• One of my boys dying before me.
• How my husband will deal with losing other loved ones when they expire.
• Financial struggles (even though we are well provided for now).

Now before you say, 'o yee of little faith', give me a few minutes to share.

My fears surround my boys and Dave - losing them, them being unhealthy, or struggling, especially with my boys - academically, spiritually, or financially.

It is a apparent that a theme in my life is FEAR.

FEAR is ruling my mind.

The future is truly unknown, yet in my attempts to control my life, environment, and family, I some how find momentary security. In my mind, if I plan my life out enough, I'll take the unknown risks out and make it 'known'....and then I will have peace.

Why does this fear have a grip on me?

Is it a lack of trust in God? I say "GOD is in control", but do I let Him be? Do I really believe it? Do I believe He'll Romans 8:28 mistakes? Do I believe He is my rearguard, always? Do I believe Jeremiah 29:11?

Or has being around 35 years now impacted me? I've seen parents lose their children to disease and tragedies. I've seen wives widowed, deserted, left alone to fend for themselves. I've seen kids put through private school, 'raised in church' go out and rebel. Has this jaded my trust? These are the things that I dread ever experiencing.

Trials will come. They have in the past. I've come out on top always, but I dread the unknown ones up ahead. I admit that I hate the discomfort of trials, especially the permanent kind of losing loved ones, or seeing my loved ones hurt.

Perhaps this is why I am such a list-making, goal-setting maniac. If I plan my life enough, I have this false sense of security - I am putting my trust in my own safeguards of life.

Trust me, I know this is wrong and unhealthy - this FEAR is truly the opposite of trusting God, having faith. I know. Now don't get me wrong, I have the kind of faith in a healing, providing sovereign God, especially for others. But for some reason, for myself - I just stay fearful. So what do I do?

Bottom line:

I have to stop living a life ruled

by fear and worry.

PERIOD.

God help me!

And so I turn to John 14:27 - "Peace I leave with you.....Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."

I've heard it said before:

Worry for tomorrow (future) 

drains your strength for today.

I've got to work on living in today and drawing my peace and security from God who loves me more abundantly than my mind can fathom!

Pray for me! :)