Thursday, September 27, 2012

Need a couple of favors for FAVOUR!!! Got $1?

Had a new friend who has helped with Section 8 housing come out to Favour's house and take a look to find major disqualifiers.
The 2 major things to be replaced:
 
1) Hot water heater -  It will not stay on. Not sure if it's the heater that needs to be fixed or replaced. Do you have someone who could look at that & do the work?
 
2) New toilet - There's a crack in bowl. Need a contractor/plumber for that too. And due to the leak, the bathroom linoleum is the only flooring to be replaced. (So need flooring...and a floorlayer.)
On whether or not Favour truly has the Section 8, the landlord verified that he took Favour to the Housing Authority office and turned in the packet. She does have it. He was told to call once the house was complete for the inspection.
As we were there last night, the landlord shared his story of how he has a weekend job, runs a lawn service - all in L.A. and that he's been fitting in 2 days up here to work on this house. He is physically tired, and he is doing the extra work for Favour. As he stated, he could've rented this house out as is...but he wants to help her.
 
I asked him if we could pray for him, and he had a sigh of relief w/ a "Please do". When we left, my husband says, "Jen, this is not all for Favour anymore, this is for the landlord too". What's cool, is a neighbor to this home has been there to help, so there is someone else to witness this help that is there in the neighborhood. The outreach is going beyond Favour and her daughter now.
Raymond felt confident that house will pass inspection with this last issues handled.
 
In addition to finding people who are willing to donate the hot water heater, a toilet, and some flooring, and time to install it all, I am also curious if you would be willing to donate some cash to go toward her first month's rent.
 
As of October 1, Favour will need to either find the $ for a hotel room, or put the money toward getting into this house. She has an interim time in waiting for the inspector to come out and check it off to receive her rent.
 
The rent: $550.
One week's stay @ Extended Stay: $365
 
In my mathmatical mind, I need 550 people to give $1, how easy is that?
 
Or, if cash is something you don't like to give out...I could use some Lowe's gift cards to finish up these last projects. I understand that these things are the landlord's responsibility, but he is financially tappped out on all the other things he's been doing for Favour, and I really see this as ministry to him as well. Just thought I'd throw that out there.
RE: the workers needed. Ideally, next Wednesday would be great for them to go to the house. Dale is here Wed. & Thurs. of next week, and that would just leave some clean up & the carpets to be cleaned on Thursday. (Not sure if you know a carpet cleaner person who would donate the time????).
 
Aiming for next week to be the last week he has to come up to work. PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN AND WHERE YOU FEEL LEAD....thanks so much!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Dear David - I miss you!

Dear David,

In the last three days, your absence did not go unnoticed.

Thursday night, we went to the gym. We left the empty house, only to come home and hustle bustle to bed. I was then too tired to notice you were not there to hold me. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Although, I definitely missed our coffee time in the a.m. on Friday for sure. As it became lighter outside, my heart began to long for you. Prayer time that follows our little pep talk, chit chat was so needed. Although, I'm not sure if it was your prayers I missed...or your voice that I needed to hear.

I really appreciate it when you are here to stay with Jacob while I take Daniel to school. It is a fiasco to get him to walk and cooperate in a timely manner when dropping off Daniel. Although last Friday, we were running on time, in time for some playtime for school started...then, the fit began, as you know, young siblings cannot play on the playground at school. Jacob doesn't know the difference, he couldn't understand, he thought we went to the park. I really missed you in that meltdown moment...especially in front of the 50+ parents.

My day seemed off balanced from the start. I did not rush home to you, to fix your lunch, fold your undershirt's sleeves up and get a hug good-bye. I did however spend the entire day with my mom, which she's a great listener and let me share my wild ideas for Jesus with her, just as you do.

Friday night was, bleh. I was grumpy. Poor boys. I think they missed you for their bathtime. I appreciate you being here to do that. They appreciate that you are much more pleasant than I by the end of the day. You are so helpful with the boys.

Friday, I couldn't wait to go to bed, this meant one less night without you.

Saturday started off rough. I made a whole pot of coffee to share with you, however you were not here to drink it. Needless to say, too much coffee left me with a shaky morning. I was diligent to pay bills, start laundry. I was excited to have all the dirty clothes washed, dried, folded AND putaway before you got home. You know I love deadlines.

While I got some chores done, fit the gym in, and did some grocery shopping, I truly did not know what to do with myself Saturday. I had a bad case of ADD. I did however capitalize on less food to make by having an easy lunch and dinner.

I made myself relax as I laid on the sofa to watch a movie with the boys. Their cuddles were so needed. Actually, I loved that more than the movie.

I don't think you would've cared much for this movie choice, although Daniel is adamant on you seeing it for the sake of the hilarious 'farting'/'blowing it up in the bathroom' scene. Your son has such a funny sense of humor, he must be related to you.

Unfortunately, by 7 p.m. on Saturday, in the midst of hustling with the laundry, I found myself actually dreading night time, bedtime. Must have been the near full pot of coffee from the a.m. still in effect because I was not tired.

Thankfully I reached out to Tammy to share how badly I was missing you. She and I texted back and forth as I got the boys ready for bed. It was just what the doctor ordered!

I didn't realize it until this morning that I was really starting to feel lonely. I truly am convinced that 3 nights without you is my max at this point.

I was so lonely last night that I didn't even preset the coffee pot for fresh coffee today. No one to share it with. I just heated up the small cup left at the bottom.

Yes, you know I have been praying for you to get the deer and 2 pigs. Jacob prayed you would get a bear. I told God, please Lord, make this trip worth it and fill my freezer with meat!

I love that you went on your endeavor. I don't love the part that you were out of cell phone range for 3 days though. Thus why I don't think I can emotionally handle a longer trip yet, for the simple fact that I cannot talk to you while you are ravaging the mountain side for fresh kill!

I was surprised of how lonely I grew last night. You know me, I'm a loner. I usually do very well alone. But as I reflect over it, I become so relieved that I missed you so bad because it's a great indicator of how wonderful it is with you. I longed for you, pretty intensely!

I did stay up late, in attempt to avoid the empty bed. I started some writing of my thesis. Tried to utilize my wakefulness and be productive.

Upon rising today, I was so thankful I made it to Sunday. I am so thankful I will see you in just a few hours. I am thankful that Favour and Divine are going with us to church and I will be less distracted and have a reason to get up and get in gear. No time to be lonely, discouraged, or lazy today.

This whole 'one flesh' thing is crazy. It's wonderful to long for you. It's wonderful to greatly anticipate your return home. It's great to miss you. It's great to love you, and be loved so much by you.

I've got a steak thawing out for you today. And I have mushrooms to sautee with some onions to top it. I can't wait to see you, cook dinner for you, hug you, and hear about your adventure up in the mountains/hills looking for a deer and 2 pigs.

I love you, have missed you...and can't wait to see you today!

Love....your wife:
Jen

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Who needs some REDEMPTION in their lives & situations?

I've been spending so much time with my mom recently, it's crazy.

If you knew me in high school or shortly after, you would assume I disowned her. I had a very, very rough upbringing that ended in a sad diagnosis of mental illness for her.

As a teenage girl, I truly hated her. I wanted to run away, it was really that bad. But yesterday, as I carted her around for her errands, I told she is truly a best friend of mine.

I mentioned that at her funeral, I will be recruiting a new best friend, one who has to listen to my every word and love me unconditionally, because that's what she does. There is NO ONE on this planet that listens to me so patiently, as my mom does.

The irony is that was not the case as a child/teenager. I was rejected, neglected, and emotionally bankrupt. And as I reflected over how good things are now, I started praising the Lord with her.
 
I pointed out God's redemption all over the place.

Without going into great detail regarding my parents for their sake, let's just say my birth was a very unplanned event, one that left a trail of trials. Born out of wedlock to say the least. I was born during the '70s, so it's not a surprise to say that my mom smoked weed DURING her pregnancy with me.

Long story short, I was raised by a single mom, seldomly saw my dad most of my childhood. Her pot smoking and party habits escalated through my teen years.

Although it was rough, I graduated from high school in 1995 with a 3.97 GPA (to this day, I am very bummed over the 2-3 Bs I got my freshman year). The craziest years of my life were my sophomore through senior years, and that is when I excelled the most with 4.0 report cards. However, those were the years I started my path of bad decisions re: boys. Thank God it didn't impact my academics. I was a bonafide overachiever then, too!

By 1998, my mom had a heavy duty mental illness diagnosis...and life changed. In two weeks of her hospital stay, I went from hating her to having to get over it to help her with doctor appointments.

She basically got a 'get out of jail free' card. I was so torn and broken. I had so much hate, anger, animosity toward her for the childhood that was forfeited by her lifestyle choices...and here I had a doctor sit in front of me and tell me: "Now, try not to get upset with her, please don't argue with her, it could send her into a relapse!"

Wow, she was off the hook, yet I continued to sit in my own jail of resentment.

Begrudgefully, I took her to the day clinic once/twice a week. This was not an easy thing for me. I was a junior in college, living in Bakersfield...and I had to drive out to the Wasco/Delano area to pick her up, bring her to Bakersfield (go to class/work)....and then turn around, pick her up from the clinic and take her home, in the same day. And oh, while I'm at it...let's drive her to the store for food and take her to do laundry, right?

At the time, I was bitter, so rude to her...just broken. Mad that for all the years she mistreated me, now I had to basically serve her. For what? She definitely did not 'deserve' it, right? But I did it anyways....see, my kid brother was still living with her, so he served as my motivating factor.

I looooooooooved him so much (I still do, onery guy)...But in order for me to take care of him, I had to take care of my mom. To insure he had food in the house to eat, I had to take her grocery shopping. This was the most grueling season of my life.

Sadly enough, eight months after my mom's diagnosis came, my beloved granny died of cancer. Can I just say 1998 sucked? She had been my refuge from my mom growing up. The one who listened to my childhood woes and loved me unconditionally. That was and still is the worst loss of my life. She was amazing, I loved her so much. She took such good care of me when I was with her, throughout my life. Awww...my granny, I sure do miss her.

So 1998 has gone down in the books as one of the worst year of my life. Yet, right around the corner 2001 came. This has gone down in the books as the best year of my life!

While 2001 ended as the best, 2001 started out rough and sad. See, in the year 2000, immediately following my college graduation, I followed the peer pressure and started my own party lifestyle. (Something I said I would never do since my mom's own alcohol and drug abuse traumatically hurt our lives). But, as I am convinced, alcohol is the gateway drug...and when I was drunk during those times in 2000, just about every drug that was freely offered to me, I tried. And some, I took up frequent use of. From June of 2000 to about February 2001, I partied using Ecstasy, every weekend on both Friday and Saturday nights. YIKES!

I know, crazy, huh? Crazy that I'm not crazy from that crazy use, huh?

What they say about Ecstasy is true. It's detrimental to your mind. See, it dumps out all your seratonin, the happy chemical naturally produced in your brain. But at some point, your brain can't create enough, store enough...so the end result...Serious, sad depression.

No seratonin = depression. This is why Prozac and meds like it are necessary sometimes, they stimulate the seratonin production so that people can feel normal/happy again. Although, I didn't get my hands on any of that, I just sunk down into despair.

I finally put two & two together of the long term side effects that were occuring with the Ecstasy, so I began declining when my friends offered. However, it was too late. Depression was taking over. I continued to drink and smoke pot to lift up my spirits and pull me out of that depression. It was a crazy cycle of addiction and abuse and continued depression and hopelessness.

Finally, I met someone who shared his testimony with me. The only thing I think I heard was: "Jesus healed me of a $350/day cocaine habit". I thought to myself, 'I'm bad, but not that bad, so Jesus can help me'. I set out on a mission to find out about this mysterious Jesus. Never knew He was the Savior of the world, the Redeemer of life. And I needed Him stat! I needed some saving and redeeming.

As the depression set in deeper and disgust with myself over doing what I said I would never do...drugs...I became suicidal. I felt like I had dug such a deep hole of failure that there was no way out. I almost began obsessing over it. I was on a mission to find the best way to take my life.

The challenge (because I love challenges right?) was that it had to appear like an accident. In my darkest moments, I did not want to live anymore. I just wanted to hit delete and erase myself from the planet. I was a mess. I was a alcoholic, pothead with no morals. A homewrecking, promiscuous, lying, cussing, unappreciative mess!

All the while the friend who told me about Christ must have been praying because in October 2001, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior!!!!! And then the radical transformation began.

Now 11 years later nearly, I am a sober, faithful wife and mom of two boys. I am not cussing at anyone these days...and my life is devoted to Christ and taking care of my family...happily including my mom.

As I sat with her yesterday, I said to her...Can you see God's redemption in my life mom???? Isn't it crazy to see firsthand.
 
Born out of sin...
yet born with a great purpose and calling on my life.
God had a planned in my mishap conception!

My mom...the person I wanted nothing to do with. The one I wanted to abandon for so long, I wanted to hate forever, and forget! She is now my best friend. I seriously love my mom. I call my mom on my own initiative. I love her. I hug her. I appreciate her. I help take care of her, without grumbling and resentment.

Not only did Jesus redeem my screwed up life and personal choices, but He redeemed my relationship with my mom in such an amazing way. I am so grateful!

And not too long ago, I hit a rough patch for a minute, with my dad...but God is even good in that. Let me just restate:

Jesus is in the business of reconciliation...
and REDEMPTION!!!

Who needs some of that? Cause Jesus is serving it up daily!!!!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Can you believe ONLY 10% of believers read their Bibles?

I love statistics.
I love math.
I love numbers.

When studies and research are conducted, a true answer can be found, a number established to represent a group of people doing or not doing a particular thing.

You can also put out effort to affect a population and conduct studies and research to objectively find whether or not your efforts were effective. Numbers, research, surveys determine efficiency of your efforts.

I love statistics and numbers.

Last year when I joined the Beachbody company in their efforts to change the STATISTIC of 65% of Americans being obese. I was disturbed by 33% of American children being obese. I wanted to help stop the numbers from increasing.

I was passionate to get people passionate about working out by using a DVD program at home and drinking Shakeology. These two actions when carried out with consistency have the potential to change the statistics of obesity. I had a mission!

However, God blatantly put His finger on my pulse and showed me that all the abilities I had to do what I was doing to stop the trend of obesity were intended for ministry work. My deeper passions were awaken through deeper study of the Word.

This lead me to devote my time I was putting into my Beachbody Coaching business into taking classes at Summit Bible College. Each class, each book, and each final assignment has brought greater revelation to my purpose and calling in life. And I've been plugging away and have grown more passionate about helping the body of Christ be all it can be.

I guess you could say, that I turned my passion to get America healthy and fit into getting the body of Christ spiritually healthy and fit!

So what statistic can I use now to inspire my efforts?

Actually, three weeks ago I read in a book by Billy Graham (the greatest Evangelist) that 11% of Christians/believers read their Bible. This book was published in 1992. So 20 years ago ONLY 11% of the body of Christ was reading their Word!

Last week, I read in a book that published within the last couple of years that 10% of Christians/believers are reading their Bible. So that means with the last 20 years that LESS people are reading their Bible.

You say Jen, it's only 1% less...I love numbers....According to Christianity Today's website**, as of 2010, there were 2.18 billion Christians worldwide.

So, 1% of 2.18 billion is 21.8 million...21,800,000 believers are no longer ABIDING IN THE LORD!!! That's how many tapped out on connecting with the Lord...not the number that represents the total # of people NOT abiding in the vine.

John 17:17 says,
"Sanctify them in truth,
Your word is truth."

That means less are getting sanctified. This number explains why many believers throw in the towel on their families, their finances, their jobs. Could you imagine how economically strong this country would be if people managed their finances based on the Word? Imagine how strong marriages would be if husbands loved their wives and wives respected their husbands, as the Word says to.

This grieves my heart! So let's break it down then....If there are only 10% of believers reading their Bibles...we only have 218,000,000 Christians reading their Bibles...compare that to the 90% who are NOT: 1,962,000,000...Wow...no wonder so many people are turned off by 'us' sometimes.

If we are not getting sanctified by the truth, what are we saying, how are we acting, how are our marriages, our kids, our mental health? Do you see my concern? Why would people be attracted to God, if His people are not attractive? What do you have that unbelievers want?

How can we call ourselves Christians...if we're not following Christ? How can we follow Christ, if we don't even know what He said?

How can we know what He said? It's simple!!!!
 
READ YOUR BIBLE!!!!

It's that easy...A+B=C...I told you I like math.

Time + the Word = Growing in Christ.

It's an easy plan, wake up 30 minutes earlier each day...trade your a.m. Facebook time for time in the Word...and let the Word, the truth sanctify you. Then you know what the truth of God says and you will be greater equipped to go do it!

Trust me folks, I am on a new mission now: To increase the number of believers who read their Bibles...Hmmmm...now how will I pull that off? I'm starting with prayer, which mathmatically and exponentially multiplies your efforts of reading the Word and doing the Word! Just by the way.

Lord, help me, use me to increase that 10% to a greater number so that we can have an even greater, positive influence in the broken, hurting world today!!!! Give the body of Christ the motivation to have quiet time in the mornings with You. Help them open up their minds to what You have to say. Show them that You love them so dearly and want to hear what hurts them, what they need, where they want to go. God, lead Your people into an intimate relationship with You...sow a deep desire into their hearts for You, and lead the right people into their lives that will keep their focus on You. God, save the world by saving Your people, help them catch the vision of Your love, Your heart, and Your mission! Amen.

**http://christianity.about.com/od/denominations/p/christiantoday.htm

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

A Repentant Prayer

God, this is a thorn in my flesh,
Why must I be so opinionated?

Take this away, that is my request,
For it leaves me feeling so mad and alienated.

Yes, I am the first to say it is wrong,
Change me, I wish I were not this way.

Please give me new words and a new song,
Please sanctify my mouth and what I say.

You know that I love you so much my Lord,
Yet I am still a sinner in need of Your grace.

Help me remove this plank go to move forward,
Let Your radiance shine upon my face.

I claim victory over this thorn,
Your redemption over my mind and heart.

This too I am saved from, yes reborn,
When I let this go, I will be further set apart.

I release my justice and all my anguish,
My opinions and angry frustrations.

My anxiety and fears, I relinquish,
Take my judgements and all these evaluations.

Prune it all away and cleanse my mouth and hands,
I no longer want this distracting and wrenching sin.

Deepen my convictions, help me understand,
That to be like You, is the goal in the end.

Refresh my mind, strengthen my trust,
Help me drink this refining cup.

Lord, I know obedience is better than sacrifice,
I lay it down to remain in Your Presence for this life.

Forgive me now, please renew my love,
You are showing me how, boldly from above.

Thank you Jesus for Your help and forgiveness,
I pray that I will reflect Your mercy and kindness.

- By Jennifer Morin, September 19, 2012

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Land of "TOO MUCH"

Have you heard of this place? This is where I live.

All my life, I have been told that I was 'too much'. As a young child, I would have A's in every subject, but 'behavior' was a whole other grade. It ranged from Bs to Ds...for "talking too much".

What's new? I still bear the reputation of 'talking too much'. It's probably because I have 'too much' energy, driven by 'too much' passion. And when it comes to my faith, I have 'too much' zeal. Is it possible to love Jesus 'too much'?

I have a bad habit of worrying 'too much', probably because I care 'too much'. Which leads me to praying 'too much'. But can you really pray 'too much'?

 
I love my kids and husband way 'too much'...and judging by my misunderstandings and conflicts with relatives (in-laws as well), I'm probably guilty for loving them 'too much' too.
Maybe, just maybe I love 'too much'.
But can you truly love 'too much'?

I do know that I have 'too much' of a sense of justice. Things people do that put themselves or others at risk of injury, whether it's physical, emotional, or spiritual - I care 'too much' to just sit and let it go on. I want to speak up and intervene way 'too much'.

I will admit that I may have 'too much' pride, especially when I'm confronted about my 'too much' factor. I overreact, a bit 'too much' when I am told that I am, in fact, 'too much'. But you would too, if your unique personality was under attack too often, 'too much'.
 
I wonder if I am motivated to love and care 'too much'
because there are too many out there NOT caring and loving ENOUGH!

I was once told at my old church that I worked 'too much' and I served 'too much'. I was THERE 'too much'. Probably because I wanted to help the cause of Christ 'too much' because I was burdened 'too much' for the people who didn't know the Lord ENOUGH!

I wanted to be the hands and feet of Jesus...because too many don't do ENOUGH.

As far back as I can remember, I was 'too much'...but at the ripe, old age of 35, I've finally stopped worrying 'too much' about being 'too much'.

Here's the facts:
  • I am too much.
  • I talk too much.
  • I talk about Jesus too much.
  • I tell about the Bible too much.
  • I share my mind too much.
  • I think too much.
  • I write too much.
  • I fear too much.
  • I worry too much.
  • I do too much.
  • I encourage too much.
  • I problem-solve too much.
  • I just plain try too much.
  • And yes - I love too much.

Hmmmmm. Maybe I've had to have 'too much' since the world has been set out on a mission to take what I have. Perhaps, God has an important plan for my 'too much'. Perhaps, I have to have way more than enough since each person who comes to complain, confront, and condemn my 'too much' succeeds at extracting just a little bit of my 'too much'. Do they want me to be like them and not have ENOUGH?

Here's a hypothesis:

 In order for me
to carry out what I am called to do,
my 'too much' guarantees that
I will have ENOUGH to see it through!

*********************************************************************

As I reflect on the 'real' me of 'too much'...a special thanks goes out to my close friends and family who love me and accept my 'too much'. I am grateful beyond what my words can express for your continued support and friendship and love. You have no idea how hard it is for me to find people who will stick with me despite MYSELF.

And a very special thanks to my husband who was actually attracted to my 'too much' factor and loves me for it. You have major rewards in heaven my love for being such a risk-taker and choosing me as your own. I love you David, thank you for loving me so well.

OH..and P.S. - Watch out world because I have offspring! My thing 1 & thing 2, Daniel and Jacob...You have been warned that there are potential successors to carry on the torch of 'too much'!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Can we truly figure out who is saved? What does fruit look like?

A song from the Hillsong Church's worship team was on my heart today following my devotional time.

"The whole earth is full of His glory...
The whole earth is full of His glory...
You reign victorious over all..."

Just a couple lines of it there, I can't sing, which is why you will not see a video of my BedHead Devotionals featuring me trying to capture this moment. ;) ha, ha!

A couple things were so deeply confirmed today in my quiet time today. As I sat in awe of how years ago I wrote 2 words in my old Bible ( that I used from 2003-2005) that were on my heart today. AMAZING STUFF FOLKS!

See, I've claimed that I would be in ministry again for the last 5 years. I've claimed that I was made for ministry. There is nothing else that I want to pour my time and energy into except seeing people come into a full revelation of Jesus Christ, God - their Creator!

Believers and unbelievers. Yes...I have a hunch that many people who are saved, have the 'fire insurance', but have yet to experience the full revelation of Jesus Christ as Lord, Savior, Messiah.

Heck, I still have some revelation to be received, so I imagine many others do too.

I think of people who have confessed with their mouth and heart that Jesus is Lord, yet still sink in the bondages of sin. Addictions, sexual immorality, greed, lust, lying, dishonesty...the list goes on and on of the sins that people STAY entangled in.

It is true, "You will know them by their fruit"...but can I have you consider the 'sanctification process'? The Word says to 'work out your own salvation with fear and trembling'...there's a working out that has to be done...a process.

See when I first got saved...I was living a rated-R life of promiscuity...I was an undercover homewrecker. I partied on the weekends: drinking and drugs. I cussed like a sailor, I lied, manipulated, and was so vain and conceited. I was horrible. I was. That's the truth.

- That's who I was B.C. - 
BEFORE CHRIST!

Now, as I look back over my life, I see that I did not do a 180 with my external behaviors immediately, although my internal, heart's desires did. My heart longed for Jesus to heal me of my addictions, for him to give me self-control with my body, and to purify my mouth and motives.

I share the story of my sanctification process along these lines..."When I first got saved, I don't think that my potty mouth and the way I dressed was as much as a priority as my adultress affairs. I was jeopardizing marriages and families. God is all about protecting family and marriages. So guess what? Married men were 100% off limits, a.s.a.p.

Next thing to go was the dangerous hardcore drugs of cocaine and ecstasy. Those stopped immediately, those were potentially more fatal than the other things that I was doing. Next was the drinking...because that too was dangerous as I was horrible to drink and drive...(I know, is your mouth dropped? I warned you I was bad...). The next thing to change was my cussing...

I remember hearing the verse: How can blessings and cursings come from the same mouth?...I was like 'ouch!'

Remember, when I learned of Jesus' love and forgivenness...I needed soooooooooooo much of just that, so I loved Him so much! (Those who are forgiven much love much, right? It's a also a verse in the  Bible).

So my passion for the party, rated-R life was turned into passion for Christ....but I had some addictions and habits that had to become sanctified...purified. It did not happen overnight...at all.

Had someone looked at my outside appearance 3-6 mos...even 1 year after being saved, many of the self-righteous would've doubted my salvation because at that time I was not 'bearing fruit'....yet. I was in the pruning process.

You got to cut the dead stuff off so that new life can grow. I am grateful that within 2 1/2 years of my salvation, I was completely alcohol, drug, and sex free. In fact, I called off an engagement because my fiance did not 'keep it pure'...that's how intense my sanctification process was.
 
I got strong enough, by the power of the Holy Spirit to
let go of all the things that were
in opposition of what the Word of God taught.

Now...here's the thing...to me, that was too long...but some people take even longer. My gut feeling is that we will take as long as we allow ourselves. It's a matter of 'our will' lining up with the will of God.
 
The speed of the sanctification process is
 proportionate to the measure of our
submission to the Holy Spirit.

For me, my addiction to marijuana was the last addiction to go...it seemed like it took forever for me to make the last time...the last time. I can't tell you how many times I said..."THIS IS THE LAST TIME!" I got so fed up with myself saying that...I was sick of failing.

I decided one day, the guilt and shame from giving in again and again over pronouncing 'the last time' was so burdening that the highs were no longer fun. They were laden with shame and guilt!

And then, I got so sick of myself feeling dirty and sinful after spending the night with my fiance...the prayers of repentance following my stay made me nauseous.

I had the strong conviction in my heart that I was
WILLFULLY sinning and I had to stop.

I took the verse about 'if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off'. My relationship with this guy was causing me to sin...so I did just that....I cut it off. Gave him back his ring and basically said, "I want to live sold-out to Jesus and have a pure life...so since you don't want that, I can't be with you".

I can't tell you how liberating that was. I was finally free of all the sins that were thorns in my flesh, the ones that had my body in bondage.

However, I hadn't arrived yet. And I still haven't. I am still being sanctified. I still have to put my vanity, judgementalness, pride, intelligence, opinions, and thoughts on the altar. But I am still being sanctified....the PROCESS is not yet complete.

For me, I believe my willingness to give up what God has told me to is what has sped up the process. 

Since the day I was saved...I've poured the Word in me nearly daily. I've had an on-going prayer life. I've had amazing answers to prayers for others to build my faith for God to do great things in me and for me. I've had revelations and studied the Word and know that I know that Jesus is who He says He is....ALL THE TIME!

I had the faith for the deliverance of drug addictions and sexual sin. Perhaps, the people lacking 'fruit' really have little fruit growing, hidden under the bondages that they are so entangled with. Perhaps, they have little faith for the deliverance.

Are there people who are saved, yet they lack faith in the power of the Holy Spirit? Are there too many people observing their lives and claiming 'lack of God' that they buy into it? Are there not enough believers reaching out and loving on them long enough to see a change? Is the change taking place so slowly that the 'righteous' miss it and discredit their salvation?

I don't the answers to these. Only ONE knows who is and is not truly saved.

My goal is to 'be ready and prepared' for His return whenever it is...I don't know if it's today or 10 years, or 100 years from now. I just know that I want to see everyone I know experience the love of Christ....so I just show up in the mornings, asking God to equip me to love the unloveable, forgive the unforgiveable, and be a witness of His grace unto the world!

My prayer is that each of you would come into a full revelation of who Jesus Christ really is, the true power of the Holy Spirit, and the deep love of the Father! The Trinity....three in one. It's mind-boggling...I know. I just believe it because it's what the Word shows me...and by my faith I've been healed! Hallelujah!

Monday, September 3, 2012

Taking refuge in the Lord, living by the Holy Spirit

During prayer today, I was reminded of what taking refuge in the Lord looks like. It's standing in God's shadow, letting Him be the barrier between us and the beating heat, the trials. (Psalm 91:1,2)

God is also like an umbrella that protects us from the beating down, pouring wet rain. We have to go to Him to block the storm, protect us from the cold, harsh storms and trials of life.

This is why we need to pour our hearts to Him, pour out our need for more faith. Even the Apostles needed to ask for more faith....Luke 17:5. God can give us the ability to have more faith, trust, and belief. We have to meditate on Hebrews 11:1 - We have to believe in God's sovereignty, His love, and His plan for us.

We have to stop trying to figure out stuff separate from God.

Imagine being legally blind and the need for prescription/optometrist bona fide glasses...without the glasses you can't see far ahead of you, running into stuff, running over people....That's us without the Holy Spirit. We can't see where we're going! The Holy Spirit is what gives us vision to see what we need to. We can see things and hear things when we allow ourselves to be completely led by the Holy Spirit.

There are many people walking around without their glasses on. And there are the unsubmitted believers, they're the legally blind with the dollar store magnifying glass...they can kinda see stuff, but they're not seeing everything! They see just enough to think they know what's going on, but because they don't have the full strength prescription, the full strength of the Holy Spirit, they are missing out on so much.

We have to have the Holy Spirit, we have to walk by the Holy Spirit, we have to walk by the POWER of the Holy Spirit. We grow strong in the Spirit by following the convictions...ignoring the Spirit strengthens your flesh.

Be sure to take refuge in the Lord by staying in His shadow, let Him be your covering, and wear the Holy Spirit to give you the ability to see and hear God!

For more encouragement in the Lord, check out my other BedHead Devotionals found on YouTube, where I share my walk with the Lord, pretty transparently so that you can see how to hear God's voice and that He truly still speaks to us!

Here's today's video that goes along w/ today's blog post! God bless you as you pursue Him and aspire to know Jesus more!!!!