Is it PRIDE or self-acceptance?

Is it pride when you are able to walk in healthy confidence when you know how jacked up you are and are not ashamed of it?

Is it pride when you are fully aware of your weaknesses, but you still try and work for excellence?

Personally, and not to sound prideful, I am fully aware of areas I need to improve on. I know that I am a worrier, I lack much needed patience, and that I am NOT a gourmet chef. So then, I am not defensive when someone says, "Man, you seem anxious"...."Wow, you need to be more patient"...."This is for dinner?" See, if people were to ask me these things...I would not defend myself, I would agree with them...and either ask for prayer...or invite them to cook dinner next time.

(And that's just 3 examples of the many areas I need help in...I know there are others! Just by the way...)

My goal is to be I am 100% honest with myself and not set myself on a pedestal, thinking I've got it all figured out. The problem lies when people truly believe that I truly think I do have it figured out.

We've all met those teenagers or college-age kids that truly believe they have life figured out. They are entertaining to listen to because I remember being that way...and I am old enough and mature enough to accept that I am wrong in that thinking.

Maybe that's the source of where judgment comes against me. People's misconceptions of me creates the conflict. I'm pretty sure that people, in their lack of time, patience or true interest in me, judge me and believe that I see myself more amazing than I am.

In fact, the times I do get any kind of compliments of being great or something good comes out of me...I turn to the Lord and say, "Wow, that's nice, but if only they knew the truth"....I am aware of the truth of myself and that's actually what enables me to turn over all the nice words and comments to the Lord. Because, honestly, I know that anything good, great or amazing that actually results from my efforts is really God's doing and by His grace, He used me.

I am significant to the Lord. I know this. He is my Maker and Creator. And it is His opinion of me that gives me confidence. If I left my self-esteem up to my own opinion of myself (or others), I would default to a very insecure, depressed person because I am fully aware that I have so far to go.

Now, in the event that someone who is very UNaware and UNaccepting of their own faults and weaknesses tries to bully me - oh watch out!

Another one of my weaknesses pops it head up and I default to the "Let me set you straight" mechanism. This need to defend myself to imperfect, jacked-up fellow believers who walk in superficial confidence really gets my heart-pumping.

FACT: I STILL NEED TO GROW & MATURE!

Unfortunately, since I believe so fully in the power of transparency and self-awareness, I make it a mission to set out and inform people that they too are not perfect, and I take it to the next level by pointing out the obvious areas that they need to improve on.

My biggest error, and what I've been told NOT to do is 'be the Holy Spirit' to people. Trust me, I don't want this role....and my error isn't necessarily that...I'm wrong in not waiting on the person to respond to the Holy Spirit.

I think I conclude that "surely if this person was sensitive to the Holy Spirit, this wouldn't be an issue for them anymore....it's obvious that they can't hear God"...and so, I speak up to "help" them see the light and inform them of what needs some attention in their character or life.

I believe that some of these people do not hear God's voice (because no one has taught them how, and so I am trying to "help" them). Or, I imagine that they are simply ignoring it, ignoring the conviction of the Spirit. And so, I take it upon myself to point out some things that don't line up with the Word. Trust me, I know this is not the "right" thing to do by man's standard....but again:

I STILL NEED TO GROW & MATURE!

So with that....I hope that this message of  transparency will encourage you to examine yourself a little more and accept that you too still need to grow and mature. It's okay. That's what life does...it teaches us about ourselves so that we can change and improve where needed.

But we can only change and still be confident about ourselves when we are hooked up to the Lord and we allow Him time to show us what He is working on. See, the confidence and self-acceptance comes from being secure in who I am in the Lord. I accept that I have a ways to go. I know this. I just wish people around me would accept that about me....and would admit it for themselves too!

What a wonderful place this would be if we could just accept ourselves, be honest with ourselves...and let that acceptance and honesty overflow into our relationship with others!

Taking refuge in the Lord, living by the Holy Spirit

During prayer today, I was reminded of what taking refuge in the Lord looks like. It's standing in God's shadow, letting Him be the barrier between us and the beating heat, the trials. (Psalm 91:1,2)

God is also like an umbrella that protects us from the beating down, pouring wet rain. We have to go to Him to block the storm, protect us from the cold, harsh storms and trials of life.

This is why we need to pour our hearts to Him, pour out our need for more faith. Even the Apostles needed to ask for more faith....Luke 17:5. God can give us the ability to have more faith, trust, and belief. We have to meditate on Hebrews 11:1 - We have to believe in God's sovereignty, His love, and His plan for us.

We have to stop trying to figure out stuff separate from God.

Imagine being legally blind and the need for prescription/optometrist bona fide glasses...without the glasses you can't see far ahead of you, running into stuff, running over people....That's us without the Holy Spirit. We can't see where we're going! The Holy Spirit is what gives us vision to see what we need to. We can see things and hear things when we allow ourselves to be completely led by the Holy Spirit.

There are many people walking around without their glasses on. And there are the unsubmitted believers, they're the legally blind with the dollar store magnifying glass...they can kinda see stuff, but they're not seeing everything! They see just enough to think they know what's going on, but because they don't have the full strength prescription, the full strength of the Holy Spirit, they are missing out on so much.

We have to have the Holy Spirit, we have to walk by the Holy Spirit, we have to walk by the POWER of the Holy Spirit. We grow strong in the Spirit by following the convictions...ignoring the Spirit strengthens your flesh.

Be sure to take refuge in the Lord by staying in His shadow, let Him be your covering, and wear the Holy Spirit to give you the ability to see and hear God!

For more encouragement in the Lord, check out my other BedHead Devotionals found on YouTube, where I share my walk with the Lord, pretty transparently so that you can see how to hear God's voice and that He truly still speaks to us!

Here's today's video that goes along w/ today's blog post! God bless you as you pursue Him and aspire to know Jesus more!!!!

I'm not religious...

Did you know that I'm not religious and Jesus isn't either?

It's interesting to me how many people use this word to describe me. I know it's because of their lack of knowledge of the true living, daily relationship that is available with Jesus.

When you read the New Testament, the Pharisees were the religious people. And they rejected the truth that Jesus was God's Son....Jesus was God in the flesh....Jesus was the promised Messiah. They rejected the idea that He would reign forever at the right hand of the Father.

It was the religious Pharisees that crucified Jesus on the cross. This is why being called "religious" is a pet peeve of mine. I do realize that people mean no harm in it. They intend for it to be a compliment. But I don't want to be religious. I equate religiousness to the Pharisees, and they rejected the cornerstone of my faith!

I want to be called a true follower of Christ,

a disciple of Christ.

Somewhere along the lines, even being called a Christian isn't so positive sounding anymore. So many 'Christians' reject the very people that Christ died for. So many 'Christians' are hurting their family of God. So many people are being hurt and wounded by 'Christians'. It is a sad, sad thing. Those 'Christians' are acting like the Pharisees. I guess you could say they are being 'religious Christians'.

It's easy to appear like you have it all together when you only let your immediate family (that lives with you) see the real you. You know....the raging, easily angered, disrespectful, impatient selfish YOU.

But then Sunday comes and you show up to church, smiling, saying "Praise the Lord"...you tithe the 10% because your supposed to...and that's it. There's no overflow of true desperation for the presence of Jesus in your life. You just want to say that "you go to church", "you tithe", and so on. You do what you're supposed to do for mere purpose of feeling as though you are 'fulfilling your duties as a Christian'.

To be a follower of Christ, it actually means loving Him so much that you WANT to go to church, you want to wake up early to read your Bible and spend time talking to God and letting your heart be open to what He says. It goes much deeper than 'doing the right things' alone.

Your passion for Jesus needs to be so intense that all the 'right things'

are just a natural overflow of your commitment to Him and His Word.

You've probably heard it said:

IT'S A HEART CONDITION! 

IT'S A RELATIONSHIP!

See, Jesus wants your heart and a relationship with you! He doesn't need you to try to 'be religious'. He just wants your attention and love. When you abandon the world's standards and open up your mind to the Word of God and ask Jesus to give you His Holy Spirit, your life will change.

This will not make you 'religious'. This WILL guarantee your eternal destination...and it will open the door for you to discover who Jesus really is, and who He made you to be!

So for the record:

I'm not religious....

I'm a lover and follower of Jesus Christ, God Most High!