A true apology is NOT followed by an attempt to blame the offensive behavior on the other person.
A true apology will be seasoned with responsibility for the offense with honest remorse, and a desire to be reconciled to the offended/hurt person, all motivated by love.
An apology followed by justification and blame is NOT sincere, but an attempt to 'do the right thing and apologize.'
An apology WITHOUT repentance, regret or personal conviction cannot be called an apology.
After making taking my notes, I looked it up...and this is a definition for APOLOGY:
- a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another.
So then, I ask, are we obligated to accept an INSINCERE apology?
I know that we are to forgive. Our forgiveness is not contingent on an 'appropriate' apology. Forgiving others sets US free!
However, it is wise to have boundaries and protect ourselves from others' blatant mistreatment and/or offensive words and behaviors.
The hard part comes when you have to figure out how to lay boundaries with those you love the most who seem to have anger issues, short-tempers, high expectations, loose morals, etc. - all the things that seem to repeatedly hurt us.
This is a quandary many of us find ourselves in.
And with that...I am off to the gym to work on reading "Boundaries" by Cloud & Townsend. Maybe I'll crack the code on this one!
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