Are you open to changing YOUR plans? Are you willing to do what it takes?

I live in my mommy-cave for the most part. However, this week, I got out quite a bit...had a few conversations and wow! I always get inspired when I get around people. Plus I started a new book: The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson.

So today, I think I'll share some observations and thoughts I've had this week through my interactions with others and God.

Earlier this week I blogged about marriage and marriage counseling and I've concluded that for so many years people have waited until it was too late (or nearly too late) to get the counseling...many have used it as LAST RESORT for so long...that when couples seek it out to be proactive, they catch flack and things like "what's wrong with you?" are asked. 

These reactions are why people don't go get the help they need. I said it the other day and I'll say it again: we have personal trainers, business consultants, tutors for school...why not have a trained expert help you with the most important relationship on earth? Instead of so many asking "why?" We need to be asking them "why not?" And those who think they don't need one...I think pride, insecurity, or oblivion to how wonderful their marriage could be blinds them. Just a thought.

Also this week, I started reading my latest book on motherhood. Wow! A nice punch in the gut! I skipped to the chapter 'The Undivided Heart' the other night, read it all before turning out the lights for sleep. It was amazing. Last night I finished 'Beautiful by Design'. This book is seriously rocking my world. I love it because all the things the author Sally Clarkson says is all backed up by Scripture. And we know what Scripture is for me, right? The ultimate authority.

For so long I've had a void of mentoring in the area of motherhood. And this book is going to serve that need. It's also confirming to me even further that we do need some serious help in this mommy-ministry area of our lives as women. We need to get the full picture of what God calls us to do. We need some help of deciphering how to carry out Titus 2:3-5 of loving our husbands, loving our children, and being workers at home.

In reading this book, and then looking at the woes of marriage, I've been trying to figure out "what is it that is interfering in the success of these 2 areas of life?" To be a mom and wife. To be a dad and husband.

individuality

This word is resonating in my heart. And look around us. Everyone wants to be famous, get the recognition, have followers. Think twitter & YouTube, right? It's all about being the first to invent and create. YES! I support creativity and pursuing goals and dreams...but not at the cost of forfeiting your first priority to your FAMILY. But that's what so many do, right?

I spoke with a friend this week and he kept asking me, "Why can't you just believe in YOU, YOURSELF?" Not in the have 'have some confidence way'...but in a 'You can be your own god' kind of way...or at least that's how I took it.

Like many, he does not understand my faith/belief/dependence on Jesus Christ. And that's what it is. 'The world' believes in themselves. People are their own gods. They don't believe they have the need for Someone greater outside of themselves. They think they've got it all figured out. But 'the world' is in debt, addicted, jealous, full of strife, prideful, selfish, and greedy. Why believe in that?

CONCLUSION: As a result of people chasing their dreams and goals at the cost of alienating their families...families are falling apart. Period.

Before you disagree with me....this was me a year or so ago. I jumped into something that I could easily excel at....but it would be at the cost of me ignoring my kids and not meeting their needs. God quickly stopped me before their were consequences. He quickly showed me that I am quick to please people and others, who will recognize me and boost my ego - before I will serve my kids (who have yet to understand the term: appreciation).

What do you with the info God gives you?

Me, personally - I make changes right away! If you're a mom & you've caught eye contact with your kids right before they did something they weren't supposed to, what do you do? You raise your finger in the air, you wave it back & forth & say, 'no-no'. That's a picture of my God. My dad. He does this frequently with me when I am headed in the wrong direction. He's waving His finger, shaking his head, saying 'no-no, don't go there, don't do that' in His gentle, warning voice.

We have to stop being so committed to our hopes and dreams and grab on to what God has for us. If we spend enough time with Him, we will soon have the dreams for ourselves that He has placed for us to fulfill. Does that make sense?

Some ways to know if what you're doing is not God's will:

1. Look at yourself: are you stressed out? Worried? Burdened/miserable? Then chances are you're working in your own strength, without the Lord...and trying to make something happen that's not necessarily God's plan for you.
2. Look at your family: are they needy, clingy, whiny, resentful? Ding, ding, ding....not hitting a home run there, are you? What I've experienced is what God has for you, He will make manageable with your first priorities STAYING your first priorities!
3. Look at your finances: is there enough? Is the money coming in that you need? I've heard it said, "Where God guides, He provides". 

Luckily for me, going back to school at Summit Bible College was fully supported when I considered this 3 'tests' if you will.

• I'm never stressed out over school. In fact, every book I read is awesome. I love going to class - it's like having church. And when I sit down to do my homework at 5/6 a.m. in the morning...sometimes 4 a.m. or 10 p.m. (when the fam is asleep), I get some amazing downloads from God. This school thing is just what my spirit needed!
• My husband FULLY supports it. I get dinner prepared for my family (no junk/fast food on these nights). All my husband has to do is get the kids bathed & ready for bed...and he already does this. That's his time and love for them. The boys love 'dad-only' time too. So no void there.
• And the finances have been there from day 1. The application fee. The down payment. The monthly payment. And it fits our financial criteria of 'no debt'. There's not a loan or interest...just paying as I go. My payments are never late, and we have not bills unpaid by this small payment of $151/mo.

Now, if things were opposite. Me feeling overwhelmed and unable to fit my reading in...I'd need to reevaluate. My husband saying, "this really puts me out"....my kids screaming at the door every time I left...I'd need to reevaluate. And if the money just wasn't there...I'd have to accept the fact...."well, me pursuing this degree must not be God's will."

See living by the Spirit, being Spirit-led is doing just this. Holding all things up in prayer, giving it all to God and joyfully accepting what He gives back and provides for.

I swear by this, will live by this forever:

When we do things God's ways,

We get God's results.

I have put a couple things on the back burner for the simple fact of acknowledging that it just didn't have that blessing on it. And that's okay. I'll be honest and admit that it wasn't necessarily easy, since my flesh/ego wanted to 'be the best' at it.

But when God says 'no' to something I want, I tell Him, "Well Lord, you must have something better for me down the road". And then, I just release what it was I wanted and leave my hands open for what He wants to give me.

The hardest part of this for many is NOT TRUSTING GOD. I always remind myself of God's awesome love for me...and that "God has my best interests in mind at all times". It makes trusting Him much easier and something I want to be my first response to all situations.

Awwww. God is so good, isn't He?

Thanks for listening to my 'this & thats' today.  I hope that my constant seeking of the Lord and sharing it through my blog is a blessing to you.

God bless! Have a great weekend!