Do you just let some things die?

Do you just let some things die? I do. I am the worse. When I'm done taking care of it, I just let it die. But for good reason...read on.

'It' can be a variety of things. And most times I just let it die since I know after the death of 'it' comes the pruning, right?

Do you ever commit to things that you're great at, come easy, only to find that it's just not what you wanted to do? I have.

Have you ever been involved in a group, activity that the effort you have to put out to sustain it doesn't come easy? I have.

Have you ever taken on a challenge only to find that the only challenging part was finding time, which you don't have, for it? I have. And time is not something I have an unlimited amount of.

Friendships, jobs, ministries are common things that we commit to. Sometimes we have no other choice, sometimes we just take a chance, and other times we walk into them blindly.

It is hard for me to break a commitment or affiliation/friendship. I always intend to keep my word. But sometimes a season of dying happens.

Most time it starts with the time factor. Think of a plant - no time to maintain it will lead to wilting and soon dying. If we're not available to water the plant, it dies.

But after death of a plant, if you just prune back the dead leaves, start watering it again, life will come back through the roots.

Sometimes, the things we commit to have to die so a new thing, a God-ordained kind of thing, can come to life. Maybe it would be better to say, there may be the need for a transplant. Just take that dead plant, toss it in the green can and let the hands of God plant a new seedling in new, fertile soil.

I don't know. I'm in this interesting season in life where I see a neon sign blinking:

JUST  LET  IT  DIE!

The overachiever, overcommiter in me just wants to keep watering 'it' and watering 'it'...but just as in real life, I ain't got a green thumb to start with...and definitely not one for this.

There are things on my horizon that I cannot even fathom how wonderful they will be, but I know that it is time to just let go of this current thing and let 'it' die. Otherwise, I may miss out what is to come.

I've always been one to finish everything I start. Great characteristic, right? But what happens when I start something that wasn't necessarily from God, part of His plan?

1. I can't be a martyr full of pride standing until I just can't stand anymore.
2. I need to be gracious to myself.
3. I need to realize I am human and don't always make the best decision.
4. I'm not superwoman and that is who can pull this off, not me.
5. Stop worrying about letting someone down - it's my life. It's between me and God.

Right?

Really, I love putting things on the altar for God to take away or give back to me. He is so amazing and personal on how He moves to get the message clear to me.

Thank you Lord for loving me so much and having such a great plan for my life. Help me to let go of the things that aren't of You so that my hands can be free to grasp the blessings and opportunities You're waiting for me to take. I love You Lord so much...thank YOU!!!!

New season sends me back to the chopping block...

Since a New Year's Resolution of mine was to: STOP OVERCOMMITTING - I often take things to the chopping block.

This next season of life...the next year of life I should say has a full plate, and it's just begun.

My spring quarter of school is coming to an end and summer quarter will start the first week of July. However, in the meantime, it's time to get to work on my thesis.

For my topic, I'm leaning toward something that has to do with motherhood, womanhood, wifehood...something along the lines of roles, goals, expectations, and God-given responsibilities. Including health, fitness, time-management, work/career vs. staying home, working at home, the need for mentorship amongst women, and negative effects of social media on the family. These are just some ideas I'm tossing around. I haven't even began to see what kind of resources are out there to support my ideas.

Today as I stripped the bed for the wash, I thought to myself, maybe this will be the foundation of publishing a 'Handbook for Christian Women, Wives, and Moms'...who knows? I'm a dreamer.

It wouldn't be hard to guess that I am a nerd and love to research and write, so this is truly fun for me. NOT grueling at all. However, it will require even more time-management, attention and sacrifice. And I'm gearing up for that.

The key to proper time-management is

NOT overcommitting.

And while my schedule isn't packed with too many things, my mind is cluttered with other obligations and past ideas, dreams, and commitments.

Sadly enough, I'm coming to the place that this one last thing, that I thoroughly enjoyed, was successful at, and love is inching it's way onto the chopping block. I put effort out, got the word out, and worked it out...but I'm feeling in my gut that in order for all my attention and focus to be on school, this thesis, my degree....my mind has to be freed of this one thing. Can you guess what it is?

I have to practice what I preach. "Stop overcommitting", "give your time to things that are spiritually fruitful", "spend less time spinning your wheels"...the list of suggestions goes on and on. And I'm convinced this is the conviction of the Holy Spirit affirming me in the direction of ministry.

So with that, friend lists are shrinking and checking email is the last thing on my mind.

When God gives us a dream, a goal, calls us to do certain things, we have to abandon what WE want, let go of what ties us up and keeps us from being fully devoted to what He has for us.

Why is alleviating ourselves from obligations so difficult?

Wasn't it Nacho Libre that said:

YOU ARE THE GATEKEEPER OF YOUR OWN DESTINY.

So use the key that God has given you and unlock the great possibilities He has for your life!

Are you ruled by fear?

Many of our communication styles are impacted by fear. It was explained to me this week that in a marriage, many wives/husbands communicate from the role of a parent...and this comes from fear.

Attempts to be controlling over spouse and hovering over children is usually motivated by fear. Not an ill-nature...always.

Unfortunately and humbly, I admit that this can be me.

Today I sat very transparent with the Lord sharing the things that I fear...Here are a few of the things that can really impede my peace of mind:

• My husband having preventable disease and being unhealthy.
• Me not fulfilling the role of a godly mother to raise my boys to love and serve God.
• My husband dying young (40s-50s).
• One of my boys dying before me.
• How my husband will deal with losing other loved ones when they expire.
• Financial struggles (even though we are well provided for now).

Now before you say, 'o yee of little faith', give me a few minutes to share.

My fears surround my boys and Dave - losing them, them being unhealthy, or struggling, especially with my boys - academically, spiritually, or financially.

It is a apparent that a theme in my life is FEAR.

FEAR is ruling my mind.

The future is truly unknown, yet in my attempts to control my life, environment, and family, I some how find momentary security. In my mind, if I plan my life out enough, I'll take the unknown risks out and make it 'known'....and then I will have peace.

Why does this fear have a grip on me?

Is it a lack of trust in God? I say "GOD is in control", but do I let Him be? Do I really believe it? Do I believe He'll Romans 8:28 mistakes? Do I believe He is my rearguard, always? Do I believe Jeremiah 29:11?

Or has being around 35 years now impacted me? I've seen parents lose their children to disease and tragedies. I've seen wives widowed, deserted, left alone to fend for themselves. I've seen kids put through private school, 'raised in church' go out and rebel. Has this jaded my trust? These are the things that I dread ever experiencing.

Trials will come. They have in the past. I've come out on top always, but I dread the unknown ones up ahead. I admit that I hate the discomfort of trials, especially the permanent kind of losing loved ones, or seeing my loved ones hurt.

Perhaps this is why I am such a list-making, goal-setting maniac. If I plan my life enough, I have this false sense of security - I am putting my trust in my own safeguards of life.

Trust me, I know this is wrong and unhealthy - this FEAR is truly the opposite of trusting God, having faith. I know. Now don't get me wrong, I have the kind of faith in a healing, providing sovereign God, especially for others. But for some reason, for myself - I just stay fearful. So what do I do?

Bottom line:

I have to stop living a life ruled

by fear and worry.

PERIOD.

God help me!

And so I turn to John 14:27 - "Peace I leave with you.....Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."

I've heard it said before:

Worry for tomorrow (future) 

drains your strength for today.

I've got to work on living in today and drawing my peace and security from God who loves me more abundantly than my mind can fathom!

Pray for me! :)

The resonating message within....

There seems to be a resonating message within...

One that points that what I say are priorities somehow quickly sink to the bottom of the list.

When will the day come that I can tell people 'no, I'm sorry, I'm unavailable', for the sake of these priorities?

Why do we make those we love most do without us, the most?

When did I steer off the right path of motherhood? Not that I was a pro to begin with, but even one who practices good time-management for the most part.

I'd love to say it may have been the day I opened up a Facebook account. Silly but true. All those few minutes here and there, the time it can rob from the real life we live, from those we love.

What's a few minutes, right?
Think of how you need 5 minutes to put on shoes and find lost socks.
Think of how rushed you are to brush two sets of teeth, just longing for 5 minutes.
How often do you show up 5 minutes late to an appointment?

What's a few minutes a few times a day?
Think of how many books could be read in that 25 minutes.
A walk around a few blocks with sun going down, the moon coming up.
A bedtime routine not rushed.
Dinner on time.

Imagine those who worry about FB in the car. Danger to society they are.

Imagine those who sit at it for an hour or two a day and claim they have no time to work out, read edifying information, or spend quality time for their kids.

There's a myriad of external things fighting for our attention, time, and affection and our families are paying the high price and losing the battle.

Coming on too strong? Maybe I am. But I love being honest and real. So here's a question for you to consider:

Can you live without Facebook for a day,

a week, a month?

Why do we escape to a group of people who hardly know us? Let alone love us.

We've got to be honest with ourselves and take responsibility around our homes, with our kids, and our husbands/wives and get off the computers! We've got to sign off Facebook, Twitter and clock back into LIFE!

Stop losing sleep and stop postponing time with those you say you love the most for that one message, that one post. We've got to stop the crazy cycle of our days by stopping the time-waster from robbing us of time.

So if the day comes that I'm no longer there...then now, I guess you'll know why and I hope you understand.

IRONY is blogging about FB being a time-waster and then turning around to share your post on FB. Yes, I am guilty...and I'll be the first to say. Thus why this is a resonating message within me.

NEVER throw in the towel!!!

There comes weeks and days that a ton of distractions come to take our attention from our goals, priorities, and commitments.

One key in not failing at reaching those goals, fulfilling commitments, and providing for your priorities is to:

NEVER throw in the towel!!!

I am a person who loves lists, sets goals, and post them where they are VERY visible. I revisit these anytime I am requested for some other project. And it's up to me to say "no" when it doesn't fit into the schedule and takes from my priorities.

Now, there are weeks or days that come and there are unplanned circumstances that totally are out of control and interfere with the plan. And here is where we have to improvise for the moment...but as soon as you have the solution to the problem....get back to the center of your focus and go and....



NEVER throw in the towel!!!

Temptation to give up comes often when you are in the middle of a workout program, you're on a mission to lose weight, doesn't it?

You go to a birthday party, didn't plan ahead for your meal & they're serving up chili dogs and nachos. THESE ARE NO-FLY ZONE FOODS when you're trying lose weight btw. But you're starving and can't say no. Personally, this is where if I had to eat, I'd have a hot dog, hold the 300+ calories/serving chili beans and the artery clogging nacho cheese. So in that circumstance you can - get something in your belly...but whatever you do:

NEVER throw in the towel!!!

Many will have the chili dog...and when they get home..."since they've blown it"...they'll eat whatever they want like ice cream or something else on the NO FLY ZONE...and they convince themselves that they'll 're-start on Monday'....which is 4 days away. Now this person has the potential to gain 3-5 lbs. by throwing in the towel on their meal plan.

To avoid the temptation to throw in the towel: eat the least amount of food you can in a situation where you're starving and you have no options for healthier food....and when you get home, eat a healthy, satisfying meal...and start with your workout first thing the next day.

Same with when you miss a workout....if you miss one or two because of being sick, overwhelmed with crisis...as soon as you have a chance - WORK OUT!

Even if it's only a 20 minute run, a 30 minute dvd workout. Do what you can - as soon as  you can!!!!! Whatever you do:



NEVER throw in the towel!!!



A Strength can be a Weakness?????

Are you one who has some amazing qualities? They set you apart? You receive many accolades for them?

For those who really know me, know that I am...ummm...'unique'. Let's call it unique...huh? ;)

There are some traits in me that have sent me ahead of others. My ambitious drive, my commitment to excellence, my ability to take inititative,  my passion, focus, discipline, and determination - all seem to set me apart from the rest.

However, in the scope of the season I am in now, these strengths create a weakness in me.

Contradictory? I know. How can things that seem so good about me, not be good for me?

These strengths fly in full force in a work environment. They are highly necessary to remain efficient in the work force. I worked many years before having kids, and that's where my strengths became fully engaged and brought job security for that season of life.

Now, I am in a new season of life, a.k.a. MOTHERHOOD, where these strengths make me vulnerable. How? Read on.

Two Reasons:

1. Staying home is not easy for me. I am trying to learn how to turn determination and drive into motivating forces in the training and raising up of my kids. Attempting to discipline myself to focused on completing the chores around the house with excellence. Trying to take initiative in setting my kids up for success academically, as well as spiritually. This is not an easy task as HOME is not an environment that is conducive to drive, concentration, and ambition for me. I become vulnerable because I'm out of my element.
2. Since these traits are chomping at the bit to be used/released, I try to seize every opportunity to let them take charge and take me to the next level - OUTSIDE of the home. Here is where I become vulnerable because they take my focus and attention away from my kids.

My KIDS - they are the very reason why I am at home! Why is this it taking so long to sink into my hard head?

This particular chapter of my stay-at-home-chapter of life is soon becoming it's own volume. Since the day I started this chapter with my first son 5 years ago, I have longed for the day to go back to work. Yes...LONGED. So sad I know.

Many plans are in a man's heart,

But the counsel of the LORD will stand.

Proverbs 19:21

The beauty of having such a deep relationship with God, and the benefit of being so passionate for God's will for my life is that above all these strengths and desires to do more for others, work again, is that God has the final say-so.

What He says, I do!

It is apparent that these wonderful strengths that would move me up a corporate ladder swiftly. However, they are the very things that make me weak in answering the call to being a mom FIRST.

In this discovery and understanding of myself, I've set my husband as my accountability partner to not let myself take me far off base....HOME - BASE.

Listed in my office/study is a white board with my priorities written on it:

God - Devotional Time

Dave

Boys

School

Fitness

Everything else

The top 3 cannot compromise - they are main focuses in this season of life. So, in making decisions...I must come back to these top 3 and if my decision led by ME takes me away from fulfilling my commitment to them....well, we know what the decision must be, right?