HAVE YOU BEEN HURT BY THE CHURCH/BELIEVERS?

It's time to plunge into my research. And because I want to be relevant, I reaching out to you for your input to get inspired! (If you are willing....)

Below is a link to a 10 question survey to get the ball rolling for me. I need to form a 'hypothesis' and I have a working one...but I think your answers to these questions will truly help me.

Click here to take survey


Please take a few minutes to answer this...and if you have a story to share, email it to me at:
ministryresearch@yahoo.com

All information is completely confidential. Names will be changed to protect the innocent and guilty!
Thanks so much!

We need to handle God's Word with reverence and accuracy!

Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren,

knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment.

James 3:1

This is the Word of God. It is what stands true.

Recently, I listened to a sermon that was...well...not really a 'sermon'. It was some experiences with Bible verses thrown in.

The definition of sermon:
a discourse for the purpose of religious instruction or exhortation, especially one based on a text of Scripture (www.dictionary.com).

A couple of years ago, I wanted to be a 'life coach'....before I even knew what it was and before, everyone and their mom was trying to be one. And it was because I truly had a burden for helping people reach their goals and be more.

Now after pursuing a Master degree in Christian Counseling and Leadership, I have a burden to help people get into the presence of the Lord so that HE CAN SHOW THEM WHAT HE DESIRES FOR THEIR LIFE....and IN HIS PRESENCE is where people will find the inspiration to seek out what they were made for, and where they will find the strength to pursue it.

In light of some awesome theological training, I see now that 'life coaching' truly urges people to become more and more self-sufficient.

 

On the contrary we need to be more dependent on the Lord! The anti-thesis of self-sufficiency!

I am relieved that I saw the light on this. See, it is the truth that sets people free.

NOT secular stuff with a couple of Bible verses or biblical principles in it. The accurate, unadulterated Word is what sets people free. (This is especially true for believers...and has the same potential for unbelievers as well!)

As I was reading today, I came across this verse in Matthew 15:7-9:
"You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you:
THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS,
BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME.
BUT IN VAIN DO THEY WORSHIP ME,
TEACHING AS DOCTRINES THE PRECEPTS OF MEN".

(Bolding mine...as it is people these days promoting their own precepts...their agenda...to quite frankly promote themselves.)

Can you believe that all week the burden of people mishandling the Word of God was on my heart...and then I 'randomly' came across this, this morning. I said to myself...this calls for a blog post.

Here's your exhortation: If you are going to present yourself as a man/woman of God and try to speak the Word of God, make sure you are handling it correctly, soundly, w/out sordid gain, and theologically accurately. Give people the Word that sets free!

I found myself  in a season of burdened, disgusted, frustrated, and angry at people who are misleading and manipulating people with what 'sounds' biblical/right on. And I had to bring myself back to James 3:1...they will be held by stricter judgment...so now I find myself praying "Lord have mercy on them for mishandling your Word"..."And Lord, protect the hearers/the audience, take authority over the deception and guide them to where Your truth is spoken"...."Shut the mouths of people who trying to self-promote for monetary gain"...."Let those whose hearts are not upright with intentions be removed". All this can get my 'justice button' pushed...but this is where I have to turn over the 'false brethren' over to the Lord and trust in His righteouness, faithfulness, and justice.

My exhortation is just to serve as a warning/admonishment...If you are going to quote the Word, do a little research and find the Greek and Hebrew definition of it and make sure what you are trying to make the Word say is what it really says.

Which by the way....Expositional teaching is great. And include exegesis. If you do not know what these words mean, google it...and/or enroll in a theological, hermeneutics class at your local Bible college. Let's be teachers of the true Word of God.

On a side note, because of these scriptures, I truly strive to make sure that when I share something it is biblically sound.

I knew a man who loved God so much...He used to quote this scripture all the time:

All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness...2 Timothy 3:16

Moreover, I live by:

Don't try to make the Word of God fit your life...but make your life fit the Word of God!

So share the precepts of GOD...not of man, not of relativism, not of empty philosophies, not of secular humanism....it's the precepts of God that truly can change people...and I can say this because why?

John 1:1-14

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

The Deity of Jesus Christ

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ^{2 [a]}He was in the beginning with God. ³ All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. ⁴ In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. ⁵ The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not ^[b]comprehend it.

The Witness John

⁶ There ^[c]came a man sent from God, whose name was John. ^{7 [d]}He came ^[e]as a witness, to testify about the Light, so that all might believe through him. ^{8 [f]}He was not the Light, but he came to testify about the Light.
⁹ There was the true Light ^[g]which, coming into the world, enlightens every man. ¹⁰ He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. ¹¹ He came to His ^[h]own, and those who were His own did not receive Him. ¹² But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, ¹³ who were ^[i]born, not of ^[j]blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

The Word Made Flesh

¹⁴ And the Word became flesh, and ^[k]dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of ^[l]the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. (taken from www.biblegateway.com)

See when we introduce people to the Word of God....we are introducing them to Jesus Christ...their Redeemer...the One who came to save them and set them free.

I hope on my headstone it reads when I die: "Here lies Jennifer Morin, a woman after God's heart and one who pointed people to Jesus!".

I don't want to go down in history of being whimsical or witty...I want to be known as someone who introduced people to Christ for the true, lasting change!

Let our words be like John the Baptist:
I must decrease, He must increase. John 3:30

Let us remember Paul's words:
I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth.
1 Corinthians 3:6

When we do what God calls us to we cannot take credit for what God does...this is why we do not boast in our works....but boast in the Lord...

Meditate on 1 Corinthians 1:30-31 - New American Standard Bible (NASB)

³⁰ But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, ³¹ so that, just as it is written, “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.” (Emphasis mine...)

What's great is when you give people the Word...lead them to Jesus...you release yourself of the results.

• Release the Word of God on people.
• Release people to the Lord for Him to move in their life and...
• Release yourself to joy and peace.

 

Do you deny your problems?

We know these folks...They deny they have problems, undealt with sin, strongholds, bad habits, immoral desires, and lusful thoughts/actions. I live by "There is power in transparency".

Now, when I mention 'transparency', I do not intend for people to update their FB statuses with their dirty deeds. However, I do intend to encourage people to confide in people when appropriate, either for prayer, or to share with someone having a similar struggle for the sake of experiencing the freedom through learning you are not alone in your struggles.

On a similar note, the devil wants Christians to hide their struggles, because then he has people stuck in bondage and defeated. Too defeated to fulfill God's calling and will for their life.

The irony is that the Bible clearly states that 'all things done in darkness will come to light'. It's not God's will that you stay entangled, so through His sovereign love for you and desire for you to be all He made you to be, He will be sure to bring those struggles to light...eventually. You might as well initiate it at the start to save yourself time and heartache from hiding it long-term. Eventually you will crack.

RANDOM SIDE NOTE:
Ever had the thought, right before you give in to the sin "NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW". Folks, that is a lie from the pit of hell. That's what the devil says to coax you into giving in...and what happens when you give in? Shame, guilt, fear, and paranoia. What do you think becomes of your mindset, mood, and relationships with you are walking in this?

Remember the verse: The wages of sin is death. Sin will lead to mental death, emotional death, spiritual death and relational death. Don't believe the lie that 'no one will ever know' and you will save yourself (and others) a ton of trouble and chaos and pain.


Where do we get off on this path? They one that causes us to hide our problems...Hide them to the point of denying them. Is it pride?

That's probably part of it. Along the way, we meet people who are so caught up in pride they are in serious denial of their sin, their brokenness, their weaknesses. Would it be safe to say they in denial of their need for a Savior?

On the flip side, we meet people who are so insecure that they are fearful to share they need a Savior?

These are great deceptive lies of the devil. These lies keep people in bondage and not growing and maturing in Christ.

Remember the verse: Jesus did not come for the well, but those who are sick...in need of a Physician.

People who are walking in denial of their problems are walking in denial of their need for Jesus, the Great Physician, Savior...and are then unable to find their place in Him..

How can we be found in Him if we can't admit we need Him? They say things like: "I got this"..."I'm fine"...these words said when on the inside of their heart, their mind, and their homes there is torment and turmoil.

Wave the white flag of surrender to the Lord.

Throw in the towel of self-sufficiency.

Give up the front of having it all together.

We are weak, but He is strong.

Could it be that some people have themselves, their reputation, their ministry on the throne?
They fear losing any of it so much so that they deny their sins and struggles in hopes of keeping them.

What's the verse about 'he who seeks to save his life will lose it'? Scroll back up to the top where it says that 'all things done in darkness will come to light'. When we hide our sins, we're not fooling anyone else but ourselves.

Let's stop fooling ourselves and trying to fool others. When we stop hiding our need for Christ, we will be walking His strength.

Let us be sincere in our walks with God and let His power reign in us and through us. Then we can be victorious in Him. If the son has set you free, you are free indeed.

Do not fear the accusers who condemn you. Turn them over to the Lord and trust Him to rebuke them, humble them out...and then shake the dust from your feet and walk with your Lord and Savior who has taken your struggles and has come to redeem you! Let Him be your Redeemer, your Physician. Pour your heart out of all your 'junk' and ask Him to divinely intervene in your life, your situations, problems, struggles and sins. And stay open to Him moving in your life...and follow His lead.

He has His best for you. Find Him and find it...and live it!

Fighting for the Unity in the Body of Christ

Unity in the body of Christ, this is one of my top burdens. This does lead to my other burden, 'People who want God, but DON'T want the church'. They don't want the church, because of the lack of unity in the church. It's a crazy cycle...see why both are a concern for me. Perhaps the Lord is calling me to find a way to tackle both to stop it!

This morning I had a word on my heart about the spiritual pride that people have. People who are plugged into ministry, head a ministry...everyone from a pastor to the janitor, to the volunteer, to the lone ranger.

(SCROLL TO BOTTOM FOR VIDEO - listen to while you get ready for work...while your going through your emails, doing dishes, etc.)

We've got to lay down our prides, our beliefs on doctrine, the gifts of the spirit and pick up the unifying truth of Jesus. We must decrease, He must increase, because apart from Him we can do nothing. This calls us to submit to God and resist the devil.

The devil is the dividing force in the church. Don't let him do that anymore. Resist him, submit to God...get in the presence of the Lord so that you can be filled with the Spirit and be at the center of His will. Not doing your agenda, elevating your ministry...but doing what He calls you to do.

Yes YOU! He has a specific plan and purpose for your life. Apart from Him, pursing a plan in your own strength will not get you where He desires you to be. Keep Jesus on the throne of your life and you will find the way, the ministry, the plan God has for you.

It's time to lay down our doctrines and theologies and pick up love and unity.

There are enough unsaved people and believers out there to fill all the churches to the brim.

The seams of your church may not be busting because you're too focused on preserving the numbers. He who seeks to save His life will lose it....Stop trying to save/keep all those people.....lose the pressure to maintain and grow. Lose the pressure to gain the approval of people and serve the Lord by being open to what God truly wants to say (not what the people will receive). Give them the life-changing truth, not the diluted, easy to swallow, ineffective 'life-coaching pep talk'. Give them Jesus!

It's apparent to me that the Body of Christ is divided. However, when we put our thought, insights, revelations down on the altar and pick up our crosses and love, we will see the Spirit move so freely, then revival will surely break out!

May God bless you with the humility and strength to repent of this spiritual pride, superiority mentality, yet insecure operation. May you do what it takes to do His will for you, your ministry, and church.

Click below to hear my side commentaries...and if you haven't subscribe, feel free to...but then again "it's not about the numbers".

Lance Armstrong & Disappointment

I typically don't blog on this topic, however, I will tie it into the topics I typically do write about.

And disclaimer: I have not googled for articles to educate myself on the topic 100%, I am responding to a few posts and conversations I've seen and had this week.

So turns out that Lance Armstrong did not win all those races NATURALLY, right? And it turns out that people are totally shocked, disappointed, and devastated over it.

I read a post that read something like, "Lance was the pinup boy for the St. Jude's Cancer Kids and they worshipped him". Hmmmm. You see where I am going?

Another friend said, "He was an ICON". Is that similar to IDOL?

I am not for one second saying what he did was right, at all. But let's put this in perspective.

We live in a society that idolizes winner, the rich, the great. Think about Tiger Woods? His affairs that devastated and betrayed his fans.

Personally, I am usually NEVER shocked by people's sin. When people come out of the closet re: drugs, affairs, or just plain 'ol 'coming out of the closet'...I say 'wow....what now?' I don't get stuck on what they did, I do however, want to know what they are going to do from this point. Will they turn away from this tragic behavior, or repeat? Do they need help getting out of that bondage? Do they need prayer? Counseling? Help? There's more to these 'devastating deeds'. There is brokenness, addiction, lust, habitual behavior that has them 'locked up'. These people need someone to come along the side of them and help them see the light and walk in it.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that glamourizes the famous, the best bodies, heros, great preachers, amazing actors, actresses, singers, doctors, inventors, etc. The list goes on and on. Look through our kids' bedrooms, what is it plastered with? Posters, bed covers, sheets of some character or something they love and possibly obsessed with. This idolatry starts young...look at your dvd collection.

My commentary on this Lance thing is this:

• I'm not shocked he used steroids for better performance.
• I am shocked at the way people are so devastated, angry and bitter.
• It's apparent that people idolized and worshipped him.
• It's sad that he would succumb to the pressure to be the best and do what it took.
• It's sad that he would have loose morals.
• It's sad he would use drugs, break the law.
• It's sad that he would jeopardize his integrity and health to win.

But that's what people, society wants. The best, the richest, the smartest, the most amazing are worshipped...and so those who are nearly there on their own buy into the lie to 'DO WHATEVER IT TAKES'.

So Lance, he met people's expectations, he amazed them. He was the most amazing and the best. But he did whatever it took to get there. The guy has come to the end of his road. His efforts for self-sufficiency has come to a close. Someone get me his number, let me call him and tell him about a 'better way'.

This kind of idolatry is similar to people of churches or organizations who lose hope with their 'leader', when he/she gets caught in sin. When the leader 'betrays' them, or someone.

The Bible clearly warns us in the first 2 of the Top Ten in Exodus 20:

• You shall have no other gods before Me.
• You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth.  You shall not worship them or serve them.

These are the TOP 2 - this is why there are so many devastated over Lance...this is why so many Christians are devastated over leaders hurting them. Some how, some where the icon, leader, winner, star, etc. became a 'god' (lower case g) in their lives. People placed these people as an idol in their life and worshipped them.

Do you think perhaps this is why the Lord warned us from the start of the commandments, from the start in the Bible to NOT do this.

Clearly, the pain is warranted by the betrayal. But how often do people let that disappointment gravely and negatively affect their lives? How many fall out of fellowship with the Lord, other believers in the case of hurt from the church, church people.

Remember, we live in a 'fallen' world. A place where everyone is vulnerable to sin.

We've heard it said, 'a sin is a sin, is a sin'. Lying is as bad as adultery. Consequences and hurt may not be the same, but both are sin...and both call for repentance. Same as stealing, murder, etc. Move from the Top Ten and go into the New Testament into the book of Matthew and find what Jesus taught regarding these offenses...even with these desires in your heart is sinfulness.

Question now: Are you still shocked?

LESSON and AGREEMENT: Let's not put one person: celebrity, sports figure, friend, pastor, boss, relative, etc. above the Lord. Be mindful that they are human and have the capacity to blow it big time.

It is about expectations. If we expect people to be perfect 100% of the time, we will be disappointed. If we expect them never to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, or fail, we will be disappointed.

Personally, when I hear of betrayal, dishonesty...I grimace and say, 'Darn it....what a bummer'...I'm not happy about it at all. But my next words usually are: 'See, everyone still neeeds Jesus...some for the first time...some again...or more.'

 

I once heard it said, "We need our Savior everyday".

If we keep this in perspective and look at everyone around us, stars or everyday people, friends and family....when they blow it, sin, hurt, betray...hopefully we will have a heart of compassion for them and say, "They are in need of some of the Lord's forgiveness and saving grace. They need some divine help."

That's what it boils down to....WE ALL NEED MORE JESUS!

My Prayer Poem this morning...

Lord, please take all my fears and cares away,
Let me hear what You have to say.

Things, people, thoughts and lists,
Keep my mind distracted and I know I surely miss....

All that You have to show me, all that You have to say.
When You are all I need, help me hide away....

Away from all the buzz, noise and sound,
Pick me up off this cold anxious ground.

The cares of this world are dragging me down,
Help me, save me, resurrect me now.

What is all this busyness even for?
In all my chasing of lots & more -

I still find myself empty and poor,
Yet I know You can lift me off this lonely floor.

It's too easy to lose focus to the wrong things,
Worried about people and all their pleasing -

When it's only You I need to obey,
Help me be resilient to what they say.

They are not YOU, they're irrelevant to my life.
They didn't die on the cross, You crucified this strife.

Refocus my time, energy and mind,
Only to the things You call me to find.

Protect me from the distractions, confusion, and frustrations,
Set my heart on Yur work of purifying and sanctification.

I give you my goals, dreams, and desires -
Please take them through Your hot refining fire.

Speak to me, change me, make me new,
Sovereignly prune out what is not of You.

My life is poured out for Your use,
I love you Lord, I truly do.
Amen.

Searching for the answer....

It's awesome to unplug from forums of opinion and bask in the truth. Things we do for leisure or entertainment easily usurp our time and attention from the things that God has for us.

In recent weeks, I have taken on an endeavor to figure out 'my theology'. Yet I found myself setting out on a mission to see 'who' is right.

As with politicians being left-wing and right-wing, there seems to be left and right-wing Christians (for lack of better words).

I am a mathematician however. And for me, I need ONE answer. The right answer. See, 2+2 is always 4. So as I sit and listen to these 'two sides' of theology, I sit before God and say, "Lord, what is the right answer?"

I still don't know...I am still praying and searching the Word, and seeking answers from Jesus.
I realize that it is not necessarily 'peacemaking' to call attention to this mission and question:
Which sect of Christians are right and who is wrong? That is contradictory in a sense.

However, I sit stumped when I look at the 'let me suffer as I serve God' people. Yes, Christ was a servant, He died a criminal's death, Christ suffered. So then, there is a group of people who stay swallowed up in their suffering. Is it 'Christ-like' to suffer? From the surface, many say "YES".

Then there is the 'other group' who is claiming the greatest life ever is to be experienced here on earth. Most commonly called 'Prosperity Gospel Teachers'. Unfortunately, this title is interchangeable with false teachers, heretical teachers. And most time, it is the 'suffering people' calling them so.

I too see why so many 'non-believers', 'non-Christians' don't choose Christ. Because from the outside looking in, and looking at the two opposite ends of the spectrum, people don't understand how we can sit so far from eachother on doctrine and theology, yet still claim to 'believe in Christ'. They want to know 'who is right?'....just as I questioned above.

I think what is important is for each person to go on their own journey to figure out what the Bible says. Living in a society who quickly does the latest trend just because it's called a trend. A society who upgrades every time a 'new, latest version' is offered. We quickly jump on the band wagon that gives us what we 'want'.

Some want to be released from responsibility of having a powerful prayer life, a life of worship and faith, and they receive trials and tribulations as 'God's will of a life of suffering'. The only trouble I have is that many who fall into this sect lack joy, peace, and zeal for God. That doesn't line up with what I read.

On the other end, you have people who are so caught up in the materialism of this world, that they chase God for what He will GIVE...and not for who is IS. Not always. But a lot. You hear more about their money and things, their latest trips and purchases, and less about current testimonies of God, their serving of the Lord. Their lives look more similar to the world, than Christ.

So there again, we come to the confusion. How can it be so paradoxical? This is when we forget who is saying and doing what, and seek the scriptures ourselves.

That's what I've been doing. Take for example John 10:10:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

 

 

I spent time this morning looking up the original Greek of each word on www.blueletterbible.com.

This is important to know what the original meaning is of this word.

 

While I am studying this more...I have a couple of questions for both sides of the spectrum on this.

 

To the 'sufferers for Christ sake':

- Do you know who the thief is?

- Do you know what spiritual warfare is?

- Do you believe that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places - Ephesians 6:12?

- Do you truly believe that all the bad in your life is sent from God?

- What then is your view of God?

- Does a good Father want His children miserable, walking around with long faces?

 

To the prosperity folks:

- Do you have the life that Jesus has called you to?

- Are you fulfilling God's purpose for your life?

- Do you believe that material blessings are sure sign you are right with God?

- Is Jesus Lord over your life?

- Is pursuing 'abundance' your life mission/goal?

- What is the meaning of LIFE?

- What is abundant life? Abundant things?

- If the greatest life is here on earth, then why would heaven be what we are to look forward to?

 

Where do you sit? And why? Do you have biblical explanation to establish why you believe the way you do? Or do you just believe the way your pastor has taught you? Or do you believe the way you do because you are making the Word fit your life, instead of your life fitting the Word?

 

We love comfort. So do we believe what gives us the most comfort?

 

While I may be challenging you...don't miss my main point:

WHY DO YOU BELIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE?

 

My goal in life is to study the Word and find the truth that God would reveal specifically to me. I am a reasonable person who too often sees 'both sides of a story'. So in this case, I see truth in both conclusions, yet I cannot agree that either one is spot-on.

 

My concern is that too many fall too far to the extreme sides of each school of thought...further creating a chasm in the body of Christ, leaving divisions as a means of losing the 'lost' further by the wayside.

 

My mission is to find the the narrow road...What do I mean? Well, Jesus said the gate is narrow. To my mathematical mind, there is no way that either extreme is 100% correct. Make sense?

 

Fortunately, I don't have to have the final answer today. However, it is my responsibility to pursue the One who knows, abide in Him (John 15:5) and walk by the Spirit, as the Spirit leads - Galatians 5:16.

 

We've heard it said, 'Jesus is the answer'...so therefore, I am seeking Him.

 

John 14:6 says, "Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me."

 

He is the Word as well, read John 1:1-5: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God.  All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

 

Is it safe to say any method of living determined outside of the Word of God is unsound? Hmmmm. Just thought I would ask.

 

Yet, here is where my ministry focus will always be: TAKE PEOPLE TO JESUS.

 

Do we really need anything outside of that? And don't worry, as you pursue Him with prayer and worship, and a heart to understand Him, He will work out the details of the who, what, when, where, how. Your job is to show up in His presence and let Him impart the knowledge He has for YOU.

 

See you have a calling. A purpose that He designed YOU to fulfill. You cannot find it outside of His presence, outside of prayer, or outside of the Word. So be sure in all your pursuits of prosperity or endurance to suffer, you are pursuing Christ first!



HERE'S WHERE I'VE BEEN....

I've been offline. And it's been so refreshing. For the sake of letting my true friends who have text and called to see if I'm okay...here's my story of the last couple weeks.

As a project of sacrificing something and challenging myself with something that some would not consider - I deactivated my FB account for a bit. Maybe my 'personal one' infinitely...

Here was my journaling of the week that I logged off. Just in case you were curious...

 

Day One of Social Media Fast – December 29, 2012

This included: blogging, FB, and uploading YouTube videos.

After realizing that FB really antagonized a situation with some people by what was received as passive-aggressive posts, I decided that I was done with FB being a thorn in my flesh. Why have I gotten out of keeping in touch with my friends, the good ‘ol way – by phone and in person? Most of my closes FB friends I can text, so why do I waste so much time on there? I spend too much time trying to come up with something witty, thought-provoking, or family related. And then, I login to see who said what and if I need to respond. Where did all this time come from to be doing this? Fact is I can’t afford to spend time on FB. Especially with the next season of thesis-writing and trying to work part-time on the horizon.

This week is to wean myself off of it. I would say at this time, I spend at least one whole hour a day checking in on the haps on my FB page. But I procrastinate folding laundry and doing other much needed priorities just to ‘check in’.

I need to start working on sections of my thesis…and I have some new goals for the new year with my kids. So, since deactivating my account today, I was able to do some office work for my brother-in-law, grocery shop, and run errands. Came home to fix my kids’ lunch, do ear candling for my husband, and barbequed chicken for dinner. To round out the day, I completely decluttered and organized my office. It’s now very refreshing and now conducive to concentrated study and research.

Knowing that I need to start my thesis project, I need a ‘new’ environment…so I did just that tonight in two hours. I feel productive, refreshed, more confident and satisfied. And now I enjoy being in my office again…It’s clean and crisp to let the Spirit flow and God’s voice be heard.

Also tonight, an amazing invitation came for Dave to go on a medical mission trip to Haiti and take the special ‘staph wrap’ that his brother has invested in. It’s a bandage-type wrap that has been clinically proven to heal staph infections by the silver threading in it. Now, my husband must hear God confirming to go. This would be an amazing, energizing trip that would transform my husband’s walk in the Lord and catapult him toward his calling. Although, it is very dangerous, we trust to hear God’s confirmation to go or stay.

Day Two of Social Media Fast – December 30, 2012

It’s amazing the time you have when logged off all your ‘accounts’. This morning God ministered to me about a devastating mistake I made this week. 

I also read a chapter in a book I intend to use in my thesis, and as inspiration for a ministry idea. In it, I heard the story of Jonathan Edward’s rejection when he had shared that communion was not for the unconverted. He was basically ousted out of his thriving church because people didn’t agree with this interpretation. It seems to parallel something I did. Yet, after 4 days of sobbing, I have no choice but to do as Psalm 27:6: “And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me”…v. 13, “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord”. God truly comforted me with this verse prior to reading about Jonathan Edwards, who endured criticism for quoting scripture.

My conclusion today: no matter how many critics we have, whether we have truly failed, or are trying to do right, but fail others' expectations, our hope is in the Lord. We must endure the suffering and hear from the Lord immediately to rise above the adversity and discouragement. I am confident that God will continue to minister to me about the incidence and show me more things. But today, I was comforted by stories of great men who failed or were rejected. God will cause all things to work together for good. I was encouraged by a pastor this week, Romans 8:28 works 100% of the time when bathing an incident with prayer and seeking God. So I lift my head up and look for the Romans 8:28 by claiming a friend’s final decision for Christ as the final redemptive solution. Thank you Lord for your encouragement. You are truly so good to me. I love you.

Note: Daily I spend time with God…but often times, if I sit down at the computer to look something up on a website like blueletterbible.com or something, I open up my FB page to see if anyone has messaged me, and while it may only be 5-10 minutes, it’s still 5-10 minutes I could’ve spent diving in deeper into the Word!

Here’s a random blurb I found after googling ‘Van Gogh’, a very zealous man for God actually:
“purposefully isolating themselves from the world so that they can heal their emotional wounds and eventually re-emerge to be of service. They focus on the spiritual process because they know that if they do that the outcome will take care of itself.” (http://rossbishop.com/blog/tag/creativity/) This was said in the context of people seeking restoration in solitude. Interesting that monks retreated to monasteries, but in this technologically advanced society, we can unplug from ‘social media’ and open the gates for the same kind of soul-healing peace to come in. Interesting, huh? This is just one more thing I came across looking up Van Gogh who was mentioned in my book that I was reading today. A confirmation of the need to unplug for growth!

Highlight of my day: taking the boys to Barnes & Noble bookstore, jumping in the trampoline with them, and drawing pictures at the kitchen table. And tonight, with no FB to distract me, my husband and I are setting goals.

Day Three of Social Media Fast – December 31, 2012

The days seem longer, more productive, and more peaceful. I realize that getting on FB first thing in the morning, in the kitchen after pouring my cup of coffee had become a morning habit. I relate it to the smoker who has to have a cigarette as one of their first things…just as a cup of coffee is my very first thing. This few minutes of FB first thing was becoming an extension of my morning coffee routine. The problem is that it stirred up some of my flesh first thing. FB can be a positive thing, and a negative one. It’s easy to think that ‘I will just check my messages real quick’, only to think 10 minutes have slipped by. Why? Because I took note of who took down their Christmas décor first? Who was having meatballs for dinner? That is benign info that does keep me in the know of my friends and peers. But, unfortunately my highly opinionated, passionate convictions cause me fail in my reaction when ‘statuses’ sit in political or moral opposition of my value system. These opposing views create antagonistic feelings in me and the desire to ‘correct’ the person. Whether I act on those feelings or not, I don’t like that feeling of ‘injustice’. My conclusion is that if I had a less-passionate, more phlegmatic personality, FB could actually be fun. But it ends up igniting my injustice flame and I burn with aggravation at the ‘state of society’. My heart struggles with the desire to steer society back on course toward God, the information kindles prayer for God’s revelation for a ministry to help, and I intercede for God’s forgiveness for our nation/people/body of Christ. The times I do give into my flesh and respond to an update, well then there more time is eaten by me taking a minute or two to see the other person’s responses. If I check back 5 times throughout the day…that’s 10 minutes. Here is 20 minutes now lost to cyberspace. How much more return on my time could I get from reading to my boys for that 20 minutes?

Which, this brings up another emotion that FB brings to my life. See, while I may spend an hour or less, spread throughout the day on FB…I always feel guilty of ‘wasting precious time and robbing my precious ones’. The cycle goes: check for messages, update status, check notifications, respond to someone else, come across a comment I disagree with, express my frustration, and log off…and walk away frustrated with ‘people’…and now totally completely frustrated with myself.

What’s interesting is the last time I had this much frustration with myself was when I was trying to kick an addiction, nearly 10 years ago. So then, question: am I addicted to FB? You wouldn’t say 1 hr. over the day is addiction. But do the effects of it, the habit of it, and guilt over it reveal it may be? Hmmm. Nevertheless, I am breaking it this week. Addiction or benign habit – either way I want to get over it. It hasn’t been edifying to me. I’m tired of the love/hate relationship with FB. I’m like Paul, when he said, “I do the very thing I don’t want to do”, found in Romans 7:15. (Thank you Paul for that verse!)

On a high note, with the distraction ‘logged off’ I have had some great thoughts regarding a ministry idea that I feel God has placed on my heart, something that the little few minutes of FB would derail  and my spirit would miss. I am so glad to concentrate on ‘fasting’ from social media, namely Facebook this week. This may turn out to be my best week since creating my Facebook page, March 2009. 

Day Four of Social Media Fast – January 1, 2013

Yes, this does continue to be the best week. I completely decluttered two huge drawers in my kitchen last night in about 30-40 min. Something I would have continued to procrastinate because my iPad sits on my kitchen counter and when I walk in the kitchen, I sometimes check for ‘notifications’ on my FB. But not last night…after the boys and I had a New Year’s Eve Dance Party, I got focused on a quick chore. It was so great to handle something that has been nagging at me every time I open the drawer for pen, a battery, or tin foil. Not anymore.

This morning turned out to be a great morning of waking up at 4:45 a.m., I spent the time I waited for the coffeemaker to brew my coffee, folding laundry. Another 10-15 minutes I saved and turned into productivity. See, it’s just as I thought, FB does distract me away from the little chores I need to do. Feeling so productive. The longer I am away from it, the better I feel about myself, the more decluttered the nooks and crannies are getting, and the more peace I have.

Facebook represents a lot of different people and attitudes: the negative, depressed, lazy, shopaholic, MLM fanatics, bored, fill in the blank kind of people. There are also the positive people as well. But living a semi-isolated life of being a stay at home mom, scrolling through all the status updates opens the door for those nagging thoughts to rise up in me. I am a better mom and wife without that distraction. It’s also been purifying my conscience as I don’t have the stumbling block and temptation to be overly opinionated that leads to being judgmental. I care about others…but I am not spending my time worrying about everyone else. Just focused on the ones who matter the most to me, and the ones I impact the most.

What a way to start the new year. Feeling productive, good about myself, and with a laser-beam focus on my thesis. I have been utilizing more time for the reading of a book that is truly inspire my heart for a ministry for those hurt by the church. It’s been a great few days of revelation. No FB has allowed for the first things that need to be done…done first.

FB is like alcohol, like money….in itself – it’s not sinful, but it’s easy to be an idol and misdirect your precious attention, time and energy.

So stoked that it is nearly 8 p.m. and everyone is ready for bed. Instead of losing time on FB when the boys were napping and my husband was working on a project, I finished another chapter in my book that is so amazing. So glad I seized another opportunity to capitalize on a half hour of quiet time for schoolwork. I am really hoping that I stick to this from here on out. I love the productivity. It’s easy to have time management when you have less time wasters seducing your attention.

Day 5 of Social Media Fast – January 2, 2013

My prayer today was ‘Lord, please don’t ever let me go back to Facebook’. I also realize that I let my kids watch too much t.v. themselves.

See, my struggle has been my conscience saying ‘this is too much time your spending here, they’re spending there’…And then my flesh saying, ‘but it’s NOT AS MUCH as some people’. Woe to me. In my media-dependency, I have let my kids watch some of their fave cartoons too much too. So today, I endure 1-2 hours of my 5 year old whiny to watch something. And it ended with me rebuking the devil, the spirits of boredom, self-pity, and media addiction. My boys went all day until 7:00 p.m. without t.v. And, I found myself not feeling awful about letting them watch something.  And, they received it as a reward, instead of this junk they are entitled to.

In addition to some of this revelation, when my husband and I sat down to pray, he shared with me that he sees God in this ministry idea/plan I have and that he does not want to be a stumbling block, and be my #1 supporter. He said his prayers now are ‘God show me my role’.  I’ve been praying that for the last few months, ‘Lord cause Dave to seek you on his role with this ministry on our horizon’. So just him beginning to pray is an answer to prayer. A major one. I knew and know that I can delegate tasks all day for my husband to do as my ministry partner, however, the bigger picture is that he has his own calling and I believe he fits into the equation. Since his past wounds from ministry leaders, it will take God to show him that His callings are irrevocable and that God truly has a place and purpose for him, with me. It’s going to be amazing. Now, God just needs to show him and give me a little direction too. Awesome!

On the productive side, today I completely moved my 5 year old into his brother’s room, the bigger room. (Daniel cannot go through the night ‘alone’. He does have quite an imagination, and since Halloween, his imagination runs wild. I’ve been ending up in his bed at night for the last 2 months. But it’s killing my back, and I miss my husband.) I set the bedroom up so nice yesterday, have plans to redecorate it by the weekend…if the two boys can actually share the room and it’s not a sleepover party in there every night. We’ll see what happens.

Day 6 of Social Media Fast – January 3, 2013

I am struggling back and forth with how I feel about myself. How did I get dooped into wasting so much time online? Well, it started in March of 2010 when I signed up with a MLM business who highly promoted being on social media sites to stir up business and network. That’s when I got into the routine of it. Now, for a future position with a company, I realize that I could easily be the little social network status updater, blogger whatever, since I did the heck out of it. Yet, in my own personal life, I have no desire to be on there. Do I need to stay in the know of everyone’s life? Really? I see that I did not have time before, and I’ve now entered a season of having less. So how does keeping up with whose kids is potty trained, who is going on diet, who got a new car, who is going on vacation, blah, blah, blah fit in? It doesn’t. And I am happy to realize that. I am relieved. I feel set free. It’s crazy!

Now my next challenge it to not so outwardly and passionately spread the great news I’ve learned and come across condemning. I look forward to staying in touch with people the more personal way, through face-to-face, telephone, and even texting. I’m going to separate my ‘real friends’ from my FB friends now.

Day 7 of Social Media – January 4, 2013

What started out as a fast from social media, namely Facebook…I’m finding that I no longer have a desire to log back on. I ran into a friend at the grocery store this week that mentioned a mutual friend thought I deleted her from my friend list. My sister called me and asked me if I deleted her. I am the one deleted! And it feels so good. Yet, I do see a need to email folks and let them know I am alive, as I had a friend call today and leave a message to ‘see if I am okay’. Not being FB is a sign that something is wrong? Hmmmm.

So crazy that it seems like it’s another social expectation to be on FB. I just saw today this survey on www.georgebarna.org that a ‘new temptation/sin’ is spending too much time on media, with 44% of Christians struggling. Wow…watch out for the kids this 44% is raising. When I felt convicted about just an hour a day of FB, spread over the day, people would look at me like that was nothing. To me, that was too much. But, thankfully I never loaded it up to my phone to avoid the temptation being on away from the house.

I have gotten so much done around the house, my kitchen is clean well before bedtime now. No chatting back and forth on posts plaguing our nighttime routine. I no longer feel guilty for wasted time. I hate to waste time. And most of it for me, was just that…wasted.

While I have received numerous encouragements that I say ‘just the right thing someone needed at the moment’… ‘thanks for speaking the truth’…. ‘thanks for challenging’ me and so on…I realize NOT ALL was a waste. Although, I have reached a point where I need to focus more time and attention to my final months of working on Master degree.

Dear Lord, thank you for showing me that while FB in itself is not sinful, it becoming idolatrous is. Thank you for setting me free from this idol trying to move in and take place of real friendshipsand time with my family.

With the time that I would be on FB, I did use it looking up books for my advising class, some random googling for my thesis topic, things that feed and grow my focus for ministry. I have been filled with so much peace, no longer torn over ‘did I say that wrong’, ‘why am I friends w/ them again?’…so many things I saw and read on FB were antagonizing. Not edifying to my soul. Yet, I consider jumping on to let everyone know ‘all is well’. But I refrain in hopes of seeing how long I can avoid it.

I will say that in the future for ministry purposes, I may be back on to utilize. However ‘personal/leisure’ use is cut for now. Praise the Lord that Jesus is Lord over my life and not Mark Zuckerberg!