Does a king know when he is losing his kingdom?

Here is a story of man who was once so hungry for God...and now, hearing about current status...it doesn't seem to be the case so much. I am so sad it has come to this...here is my "story" of what I have seen from my point of view.

For the past few years, I have seen many faithful servants finally flee from a kingdom. This kingdom once ushered in the presence of the Lord by their hearts sincere worship. But something happened, somewhere, somehow the glory of the Lord became a spectacle, and then when He retracted His glory, the king attempted to duplicate it. Expensive entertainment is what it soon became. Many of the kingdoms riches that had been laid up in the storehouses were soon tapped into, to support the king’s attempts to duplicate the years of revival.

Revival had occurred as a response to the prayer movement that had taken place for many years. God had looked down and seen many faithful prayer warriors interceding on behalf of the king and those who needed greater revelation of Christ. But the king’s consulate, prayer ambassador soon fell ill, and died. And with this great man’s death, came the death of prayer, the death of holiness, the death of sincerity in this kingdom.

Due to the lack of the presence of the Holy Spirit ushered in by prayer, the king lost accountability and began making quicker decisions of his flesh. As a result, many faithful, tax-paying, sincere citizens fled the kingdom. Some felt betrayed, rejected, and others felt famished. Yes, a famine became widespread in this kingdom…many spiritually starving for God’s presence.

The king sat, blaming the citizens for what he called their ‘senseless decision’ to leave. As the king sat on the throne in denial that many were leaving due to their spiritual hunger, he continued to make rash decisions to entertain those who were left. Those left are not tax-paying citizens, yet the king is now ruling in a way to please those left, when God is longing for this king to wake up out of his slumber of denial, repent for his many years of working for the pleasure of man, and the benefit of fat storehouses.

Unfortunately, like many do, when the taxes were flowing in from the sincere obedience of the people, the king was allowing it to flow out to debtors. See the original laws of the kingdom have been neglected for many years, and now the kingdom has begun to shrink, as the taxes do…however, the debt is never shrinking, in fact it has grown.

What a sad sad situation this king is in. I wonder how many have spoken up to him to offer wisdom and counsel. I wonder if he would listen, or continue in his denial.

What happens to a kingdom where the bounty is retracted? It becomes desolate. Oh, what a horrendous act of unfaithfulness, disobedience, and ungodliness has occurred. For a kingdom such as this one once was, and what it is now becoming.

I too once lived in this kingdom, and was one of the first to scatter abroad looking for love and sustenance. I found it elsewhere, and my ribs are thick from being well-fed the Word of God. It is not man’s opinions or experiences that are life-changing; it is the Word of God.

Since leaving this once vibrant kingdom, I have prayed and interceded. Many times I have considered riding into the kingdom to speak with the king over my broken heart of what I have seen in the past and what his kingdom has become. I wait and see if God is sending me or my flesh in fear of the king losing it all.

Perhaps, I wonder, is it God’s will for this king to lose it all? For in fact the Bible says, ‘what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul?’ And while he may not burn in hell, this sad kind sought the profit from the taxes faithfully paid, and he is in the midst of losing his kingdom.

I will say, that unless this king fully recognizes his sins of commission of hurting and rejecting, betraying others, and his sins of omission of not teaching the unadulterated/undiluted word of God – his castle will be empty, his kingdom will become desolate. For God cares for those faithful citizens, just as He does the king…therefore He will save His remnant.

I remain silent for now as I glean off the story of how God hardened Pharaoh’s heart that pushed Moses and the Israelites out of Egypt. Who in this king’s palace will stay in slavery to man? And who in the kingdom will flee to worship the true God and experience His presence?

Oh Lord have mercy. Thank you for saving me and my family from the unjust king. Give all those left in the kingdom the discernment to recognize You’re calling out to them to save themselves. And if they are to remain, then rise up the spokesman that the king will listen to, to speak on Your behalf. Let the king recognize his sins and help him to humble himself to repent so that Your Spirit can reign once again. Show the king how to be a better steward, give him the strength to live on less and not live like the idolatrous world outside the walls. Help him find his place in You once again, and resurrect the Spirit that once led that kingdom through revival, many years ago. Oh God, for the sake of Your people have mercy and divinely intervene…yet above all else, let Your will be done.

I had no idea that I didn't know: THE FATHER'S LOVE

I participated in a Freedom Retreat on Saturday. This is part of a local ministry here in Bakersfield.

A-MAZING! I met the gentleman who offers these twice a year at Summit, as he was the instructor for my Personal Deliverance class. My intentions to go to the retreat were to ‘be better prepared to complete my final’. The focus of the ministry is to help people be set free from bondages from unforgiveness, habitual sins, curses, inner vows, poor self-image, and not know the ‘Father’s Love’, as well as a few others.

I had prayed the week before for God to use this time to bring up anything that had to be dealt with that I was missing. I have a pretty great relationship with the Lord, but ‘just in case there are some issues standing in the way, remove them’ I prayed. And God knows that I am adamant to have the best relationship with Him possible. I gave him free reign to pull up stuff that I had neglected, ignored, or I was oblivious to.

I dealt with some ‘offenses’. This translated into admitting the frustration I feel toward people who I seem to always offend. God revealed that while yes, I can be more sensitive, those I tend to ‘offend’ are they themselves broken. When people are insecure, broken, have negative self-image things I say that don’t even pertain to them, or at least my motive is making a general statement, these broken people grab onto what I say, and take it personal and either lash out at me or silently resent me. When they feel I am personally speaking to them, they immediately feel obliged to justify, prove me wrong, or get mad. Many times people’s reactions to me come out of left field and I am heartbroken for how I made them feel. And then, I become mad because I feel attacked. It’s a crazy cycle. God knows my heart. If I say general things that people take personal, well that may be a tale-tale sign they have some hurt that they need to deal with before God. I was such a verbally abused child, highly criticized student, bullied and picked on, I know that words hurt. I never intend to ever cut people down….ever. But if truth comes out of my mouth that pricks the skin, and in turn people get mad at me, I can’t take their anger at me personal. I truly need to pray for them, because their upset reaction is a sign that they need healing and freedom themselves. Now, my goal is to walk in that freedom and remain gracious and compassionate towards those who get mad at me. Blessed are you when they cast insults at you for my name’s sake – Matthew 5:11.

I dealt with other stuff…but the top thing that was so freeing was the revelation that I do not know the ‘Father’s Love’. God the Father. You see, God is 3 in 1 right? Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I realized that I have a great relationship with Jesus. I talk to Him all day. I call on the Holy Spirit as well, all day. But to approach God as my Father? Yep, been missing that one.

See I grew up without my dad in the home. And that in itself is a chapter for another day. But because I didn’t have a dad to raise me, I have no idea what dads/fathers do to take care of their kids. I do not have something to associate God as a Father. A father was absent in my childhood, and the Father seems absent in my adulthood.

What was amazing was the next morning after the retreat; I ‘randomly’ opened up to Matthew 6 and read things like this:

·        …your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you – Matthew 6:4

·        …for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. – Matthew 6:8

·        Pray, then, in this way: 'Our Father, who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. – Matthew 6:9

·        …your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. – Matthew 6:18

·        …your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. – Matthew 6:32

·        ..how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! – Matthew 7:11

Now, these verses are what I came across just by opening up my Bible on Sunday morning, imagine how much greater my picture of my heavenly Dad will be when I sit down to ‘study’. And I will, and am. I am on a mission to find out how the most perfect, amazing Dad is.

What I realized Sunday morning when I read these verses was that, I have read these before, but how amazing and good the Father truly is didn’t quite penetrate my heart. Through this retreat, the blinders were removed off my eyes to see that I didn’t see God as my Father, because I didn’t realize that I didn’t see Him as one….not because He hasn’t done a great job at being an awesome Father God to me, He’s perfect….He’s been doing His job. I just didn’t know what to look for in a father, so I’ve been missing it.

God comforted me with this verse, however: "I and the Father are one." – John 10:30. This was Jesus speaking. And see, I’ve always rocked with Jesus. He was the Son who died on the cross for my sins….my many, many sins. And for Him I am so grateful. But Jesus and the Father are one.

Perhaps a great starting point is to take the love that Jesus extends to me through His dying for me, as the gravity of the Father’s love. SACRIFICIAL LOVE. Do you know sacrificial love? Do you extend sacrificial love to your children?

See, my motivation to catch this greater, clearer vision of the Father’s love is to be able to understand it and then EXTEND IT TO MY KIDS! See, as parents, we set the pace of how our children will relate to God.

From my class, I learned these keys things about how our dads on earth paint the wrong picture of our Dad in heaven:

If we are performance-driven, rewarding only performance kind of parents, we will raise kids who are always ‘working for more love from God’. But we don’t have to work for God’s love. He loves us already. There is nothing we can do to make God love us more, and there is nothing we can do to make God love us less! Do we, as parents, love like God? Or do we require more performance from our kids for more love?

If we are absent parents, we will raise kids to not really see Father God. (Like I did.)  An absent father can be anything from a father who passed young and was unable to raise his kids, to the dead-beat abandoned-ship dad, to the absent-in-the-home dad. The dad who is there in the flesh, but absent emotionally, affectionately, and not giving of undivided attention. This is the workaholic dad too. If they are absent due to work, well, they are still absent, right? Father God is like this to these kids….I have said “I know Father God loves me”…but I have never had conversation with the Father, poured my heart out to Him directly…it’s always Jesus. (This is what I am on a mission to discover – the Omni-PRESENT FATHER God.)

If we are punitive, punishing, never satisfied, unreasonable parents, guess what? Our kids will grow up afraid of God. Not fearful, as the godly fear we read of in the Word, not the respect, revering due to awesomeness…but fear, as in wincing, afraid, scared to approach Father God.

I do not want to give my kids a misrepresentation of the Father God. But “wait Jen, you’re their mom” you say…I extend Father God to parents. Moms and dads will (unintentionally) misrepresent the Father, if they are unknowing to their Father God and His love.

See, I am on a mission to stop the Godless generation through my family line. I was not taught about God by my parents. I am doing the opposite:  I am teaching my kids about God now. And while I can try all day to convince them that ‘God loves them’, if my actions and example don’t say that, they too will grow up with a misunderstanding of the Father’s love.

So my devotional life is going on a journey to discover the Father’s love. The story that comes to mind is the story of the prodigal son, found in Luke 15:11. This is probably a great place to start for many of us who had unloving, absent, punishing parents. The father received the misbehaving son with love and grace, acceptance and joy.

I hope you enjoy the overflow of my discoveries through my posting on this blog. It’s going to be a great season of new life and growth with the Lord. I am so excited. God has been so gracious to teach me to hear His voice. And now, my relationship with God is going to grow even more…as I pursue Him and perceive Him as my Dad!

Inspired tonight, what may come of this?

Thank you Lord for the rain drops outside my window...
The patting of the refreshment upon the parched soil.

Lord bring Your drops of presence into our parched hearts God.
Where the world and our relationships has squelched the fertility of our land.

Bible verses slung here and there, of this too, I am guilty.
For Your truth we stand, yet with our words others receive hostility.

Forgive me for the recklessness I've followed before,
One of superiority, pride, and elitism, as though we knew You more.

Yet, I am reminded that nothing really does separate us from Your love,
You long for our response to Your constant flow of rich grace from above.

Oh Lord, how do we all miss it in so many ways,
We don't stop long enough to hear what You have to say.

You say, "Come to me ALL who are weary and heavy laden,
To our souls you will give rest."

Tell me Lord, why do many of just keep striving,
Competing to be the best?

We see it from the pulpits on through the city buildings,
Suits, ties, briefcases, even the church is hungry for the Benjamins.

Lord, when will we stop all this chasing, unforgiving, lustful living,
When will we stop filling the voids with things unsatisfying.

When did Your people get off track,
Was it at the tree, a long time back?

Yes, that's where it began, and we can bring it to an end,
Jesus Christ paid the price for us to begin again.

It is Your Spirit available everyday,
Just as thick and widespread as this pouring rain.

Refresh our hearts Lord,
Turn our hearts back to you.

Resurrect our dreams Lord,
The ones You've given us to do.

Remind our minds Lord,
That apart from You we can do nothing.

Reassure our souls Lord,
That today can be the new beginning....

Of new life, new joy, new peace, new hope,
Of walking each day & everyday with You, never alone.

Break off the blinders that keep us from seeing our sins,
The sins that are bringing dismay, discouragement, and dissensions.

Break off the addictions that keep us imprisoned by our flesh,
The addictions that bring harm, hurt, and hate - they all leave us such a mess.

Break off the lies, the words spoken over us from birth,
The words that have ripped off our confidence, security and self-worth.

All of these things Lord, You alone can do,
Yet we need to be willing to lay these things down and give them to You.

Lay down the hate, anger, envy and strife,
Lay down the hurt, bitterness, and selfish pride.

Help us Lord to forgive those who have sinned against us,
Because You, perfect God, did just that through Your Son, Jesus.

Bring us into complete trust of the work on the Cross,
Help us realize we have all to gain without loss.

For You oh God, are a good God,
Willing to forgive, change, restore, and renew.

Willing to give us another day to love,
Another day to accept the opportunity we have in You.

For those who have yet to accept You as their Lord,
Unveil Your everlasting love and grace, just what You died for.

Lead them to a place of feeling Your presence,
Allow them to see a glimpse of Your glory and significance.

Not to just convince them, for then it is not faith,
But for their testimony that they too have seen God's face.

Continue to rain down Your sovereign truth and light,
As the water from the sky pours down on us tonight.

----As I write this tonight, I reminisce on the words in class about the Father's Love for us.

Lord, help me understand how vastly You love me. And help me God, to receive that impartial, abudant, never fading or wavering love.

...for God is love.

1 John 4:8

 

Why is this kind of love so unfamiliar and foreign? Help me Lord to receive it and then to extend it. Extend Your kind of love to my husband, my sons, my parents, my siblings, my friends, and extended family....and everyone else.

 





For God so loved the world,

that He gave His only begotten Son,

that whoever believes in Him shall not perish,

but have eternal life.

John 3:16

 

I pray God has touched your heart as you read this in this moment. In a world where children are raised without love, how can they receive the Father's love? I pray you will open your mouth and let any and all questions, fears, words, everything on your mind be poured out to God. Despite your lack of acknowledgement, He is always there loving you, waiting for your response and acceptance.

 

If you truly want the Lord to be your Savior and give you this new life...it just takes a few simple words: Lord, I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth that You are Lord and Savior of my life, Jesus Christ. I confess I am a sinner in need of Your saving work, and I accept Your invitation into Your family...and finally into Your arms. And I ask that the Holy Spirit would now fill my body, renew my mind, restore my broken heart, and make me the new creation You promise You will do. For today, I receive salvation, my place in the heavenlies. Lord guide me now as I spend this life living now for You! Amen.

 

If you truly accepted God for the first time, or just rededicated your life to Him and you want some information or guidance to this new commitment to a life with God...what a relationship with Christ looks like, I'd love to correspond with you. Email me at promojen@gmail.com & God bless!

Handicap, Disability, Deaf, Blind, Autistic...whatever you call it, I see it as a blessing!

I know a little boy who is autistic. And I've seen many look down on him with sorrow and pity. I, on the otherhand, see it as a blessing. For he has been raised in a house of arguing, cussing, fighting, and anger...and while he is aware of what is going on, it doesn't seem to have a lasting affect on his emotions or behavior.

Yes, it is true, I do not have kids who have autism, or any thing of that sort, and yes, I know as a parent it is a challenge to have kids who have these struggles.

Yesterday, I took my boys to the park to enjoy the gorgeous sunshine. And there, two boys, brothers, both age 8 were there to share their sandbox toys.

After 15-20 minutes it was clear that they too were 'special'. And I don't say that in a degrading way at all. There was one who truly was in his own little world, riding his scooter, smiling, laughing...not like many kids do anymore these days. As I watched him interact with his world, I was a bit envious. Envious in that his interpretation of the world is not like mine. He doesn't see the brokenness of it, the corruption of it. His world is just as it is in that moment. Sun shining on his face, birds chirping high above, kids scattered on the playground. I thought to myself, what a blessing.

It's as though this 'defects' of neurological mix-ups, deafness, blindness, etc. are seen as near curses. In the moment of trying to communicating with kids who have these kinds of unique blessings, I'm sure for parents it can be discouraging, frustrating.

But from an outsider looking in, I find the silver lining.

Deaf kids...they see the world, but cannot hear it. They cannot hear the cussing at the park, the fighting in the kitchen, the crying of depression, the begging of the poor, the loud obscene music cruising through a parking lot. They are limited to only hear what their parents want them to hear. Imagine their imagination, how visual they are. I would definitely give my deaf child unlimited amounts of art supplies!

Blind kids....they can't see the world, but they do hear it. They cannot see the half naked girls at the park, on t.v. commercials and shows. They do not see the angry faces of disapproval and hate. And because they only can hear, how much more care do parents take to filter what they are around. There have been quite a few musical geniuses visually impaired, right?

The list goes on and on of the blessings that 'handicapped' kids have. Many times I have said of the little boy I mentioned, that it's God mercy to protect him from the volatile, unstable environment he lives in.

My point in all this is that while 'I don't know what it's like'...because I'm not, I can easily spot the good in it. These children have a unique filter from this corrupt, sex-crazed, materialistic, money-driven, dangerous world and society. So for me, raising two boys without any 'filters' is frightful in another way. Instead of fearing rejection for their filters....I fear peer pressure. They are not uniquely dependent on me so I pray they will remain nearby as young adults, instead of wondering if they will ever be independent.

Like most things I post about....it's all about perspective. I realize in the midst of it, finding out 'why my kid can't _____________' it can be painful. But I hope to remind parents of 'special' kids that their uniqueness truly is a blessing. I hope that you can find it.