YOUR SPOUSE NEEDS YOU...

Aw...marriage. No one tells you how hard it can be BEFORE you say "I do". Right? And then you come home from the honeymoon...and the honeymoon is over. Or is it?

Do you ever see those couples that are still in love? There is a couple that I know...just met them in the last few months...they have little ones and still go on date nights...weekly. They speak to eachother with love, respect, pursuit, and desire. They are ga-ga in love...still! They really minister to me.

I am reminded very often that my husband needs me...needs me to just listen, to just be there. I can get too focused on tasks, the kids, chores, ideas that cover...everything...My passion can take me away from one of my most important priorities: MY HUSBAND. (Obviously, I need to be more passionate about him, huh?)

This morning, I finished the chapter "Managing Your Marriage" in the book I am working through (message me for details). And wow...I walked away from my time with these words of what our spouses (husbands, this is for you too) need from us.

They need:

• Time: Time alone from the kids, time to listen, time to hold eachother.
• Attention: Full on attention, none of this listening while FBing, texting, etc. Put the media AWAY for goodness sakes and give your spouse the attention they need!
• Affection: Hugs, kisses, closeness. And HUSBANDS...affection WITHOUT something else in mind. Just genuine gestures of love & comfort to show you care.
• Help: We are to be helpmates right? So why is one spouse doing it ALL? Doing it all as in housework, chores, working, planning for the future, caring for the kids. HELP EACHOTHER DAILY!
• Self-Discipline: YES! Even in your marriage. Your spouse will be greatly relieved when you lose those few pounds that you constantly procrastinate about losing. They will benefit if you don't OVERSPEND when shopping (men this applies to you too). Your spouse's clothes will be folded, the kids won't be screaming, and dinner will be cooked (and not burnt) if you control your internet time. Practice self-discipline for the sake of removing the burdens off your spouse of frustration.
• Patience: Now while we be frustrating to eachother by our lack of responsibility, there are times that spouses are unreasonable and have NO patience during the times that we need extra grace. If your spouse asks you for more patience, give it to them. See what happens.
• Determination: One of the worst things I think a spouse should have to endure is a spouse who WILL NOT endure. Oh man! A lazy, easily-quitting, never reaching or setting any goals type of spouse (especially when the other is driven) is a wet blanket on a hot fire. Do yourself & your spouse a favor & get motivated, determined & refuse to give up!

Remember when you were dating??? You both were wearing 'rose-colored glasses'. You know what I'm talking about. You were all in love, the very annoying things now were completely overlooked. The emotions were running high and you missed all the qualities that either make or break a deal.

Let's be a blessing to eachother. Let's try harder for the sake of the other. Let's work to help eachother be the best we can. Let's make the other a priority and make sure their needs are met before you set out on a mission to help everyone else. We need eachother. We signed up for life. Let's give eachother our best so that we endure to the end of life!

May God bless your marriage today, give you the strength to do your best with it...and may you stay together with JOY, PEACE, and LOVE everyday until 'death do you part'.

My goal is this...to be nearly 90, ga-ga in love with my husband. It will take perseverance, ability to forgive, the fight to not give into the world's way of thinking. divorce if you decide that 'it's just not working out' or 'you just don't like 'em anymore'. It will take great responsibility to do my best to meet his needs, honor him, serve him, and stay faithful with my heart, soul, mind, and body.




However, the rewards will be great: I will have my best friend there to hold me, love me, and take care of me...when I do all of this! Let's make our marriages strong & make them last!!!!

What is your secret? Don't let it hold you back!

What is your secret? What is your secret re: food? What is your secret re: money? What is your secret re: your marriage?

I by no means am perfect, but I strive to be my best in my personal life, with my kids, my husband, my fitness and finances.

I live on a budget. I don't shop impulsively w/ credit cards. Groceries, utilities, mortgage payment, and personal need items are FIRST...anything else is covered when we NEED it.

My marriage is the thing that challenges me most because I can be very implusive w/ words, overly independent, and outspoken about it! I work on this daily as I pray for husband, try to be more understanding with him, and as selfless as possible in our relationship.

When it comes to my kids, my greatest challenge is making special quality time WITH them. When I go to the park w/ them, I try to play WITH them there. In the backyard, I swing WITH them. This is something that is so high priority to me, I have gotten myself on a better schedule of getting up at dark:30 a.m. to have more time with them. Today, I have something planned for Daniel that is going to bless him sooooooo much. And I am excited to make him feel so excited & happy!

My workouts are priority as well. I now get up at 5ish to workout. This has brought so much peace to me because my kids are asleep, no interruptions...and I am fitting one in DAILY, no hit or missing. I made the adjustments w/ my sleep to make this happen (by going to bed at 9ish pm). The peace in me & my home is worth going to bed earlier to start my day ahead of the game.

My food...Well, it's no secret that I have a problem w/ eating too many Fiber 1 bars (they are my Snickers), but since my 'cleanse/detox' last week, I basically kicked the habit. It's so worth getting stuff out of my diet that holds me back.

It so worth getting anything out of our LIVES that hold us back! What is the secret in your life that holds you back? Is it an unhealthy relationship with certain people who are negative, complainy, gossipy, or all drama? Is it an unhealthy relationship w/ your credit card? Food? Drugs & Alcohol? What is it that is holding you back?

Identify it & find a way to get rid of it NO MATTER WHAT! Why let some outside circumstance or habit hold you back? For once, get stubborn against the negative things in your life & take yourself to the next level of success in all areas of your life!!!

You can do it...if you want to! Let your want be the driving force to change your life for the better! You will be so glad you finally did it! Do it today!!!!

Is the honeymoon over?

Yes, is the honeymoon over? At the beginning of the week I thought about this, entertain me and think about it too: "At the first signs of struggle/discomfort, the honeymoon is over."

I'm talking beyond marriage here. But let's think about marriage for a minute. Let's address how NO ONE tells you that marriage is the hardest thing you'll have to do. (Not a bad thing...just hard). NO ONE! How many of you were sideswiped with the demands of marriage. You probably had all these 'wonderful expectations' that 'now you had someone to serve you, always rub your back, meet your physical, emotional needs'...guess what, the person you married thought the same things. After you said "I do", you went on a honeymoon, and it's a week or two of down right romantic hugs and kisses and vacation. It's wonderful because you have time to serve eachother, rub eachother's backs...there are no distractions so you both meet eachother's needs...and it's all ooey and gooey romance, right?

Then you leave the honeymoon and life is still fresh and new together. You're excited as you put your gifts away from your wedding registry. Maybe you got a new place and so your environment is new and you fill it with new things. Life is new and you continue to be thoughtful toward eachother, you are polite to eachother.

And then one day, THE HONEYMOON IS OVER! Wifey doesn't take as much time to do her hair & her make-up, she lets her PMS ruin one week out of the month...every month. Husband gets busy at work, he's grumpy. He's grumpy to his wife, her feelings are hurt, she gives the silent treatment (even in the bedroom)...Husband gets even grumpier and the 'crazy cycle' has begun.

What happened, right? Folks, the honeymoon is a short-term 'fun' season in life. But we forget that life has demands and it's our responsibility to do what it takes to bring some 'honeymoon attitude' to our marriage month after month.

Think about other things you may have the honeymood come to end with too soon:

You get a new car, life is fun, you go everywhere in it, take your friends out in it...then everyone expects you to drive them everywhere, you can't afford the gas cuz you just got that big car payment in the mail - THE HONEYMOON IS OVER!

You get a new home, get to decorate it, buy all the new fun gadgets for it, paint it fresh vibrant colors....a few years down the road, your friends get a newer home, you're roof springs a leak, the colors seem outdated - THE HONEYMOON IS OVER!

You start a new diet, you've got results in the first few weeks because you went from eating EVERYTHING to eating nothing, then you hit a plateau, you don't want to work out maybe, you don't want to give up those few bad things that you've hung onto, you get discouraged and want to throw in the towel - THE HONEYMOON IS OVER!

I could go on and on (those who know me, know this to be true)...but we've got to snap out of it! JUST SNAP OUT OF IT!

Life requires you to be responsible. Life requires you to put others first. Life requires effort, sweat, and hardwork. Life requires discipline, sacrifice, and self-control. Life needs you to be the best YOU and hang in there when it gets tough.

Newsflash: LIFE IS TOUGH! It is. We have daily struggles, we have seasons of serious trial and wilderness...but the key is to hang on with a positive mindset and hope. Press into the adversity, let it mold you into an even greater person of determination, perseverance, and integrity. Decide today that when THE 'HONEYMOON IS OVER', you're NOT DONE!

We have to be willing to not give up! Not give up on our weight loss efforts, not give up on paying off debt, not give up with our new business, not give up on our kids, not give up on our relationship with the Lord, not give up on the marriage to our spouse. Not give up on LIFE!

We can't cry over spilt milk. We have to be bold and clean it up, put out some energy, and rise to the occasion! We have to endure to the end - even when the comfy, cozy, romantic, newness of life and experiences grow stale. We have to hang in there! PERIOD!