Got Marriage?

The M word: Marriage.
It is the cornerstone of the church.
It is the foundation of the future.

It takes two to tango, for sure, but often times I observe ONE doing the work of the two. Both adults signed up for this, both should remain faithful to keep their vows.

It's very much easier said than done, right? I know. So an accompanying discipline that ALL married individuals should remain faithful in then would be: PRAYER.

Imagine if you will, a marriage where BOTH husband and wife were equally committed to praying for themselves, their marriage, their children, their finances, and their ministry. Can you imagine what a powerful team that would be? They would be on track and winning people to the Lord, right?

Which is exactly why Satan, the devil, the believer's archenemy hates praying, God pursuing people. Consider a family. A mom, a dad, and oh, two kids. If the dad won't fulfill his role of a godly role model for his kids, if the dad won't encourage and love his wife unconditionally, the wife is overwhelmed with chores and lonely. She can easily become bitter and resentful and then very disrespectful. Five years of this will kill hope. Five years of no counseling will leave them both unequipped to deal with the problems that all the complacency began. Five years of NO SPIRITUAL WARFARE will leave the couple defeated and bound under the lies of the enemy. One of the devil's favorite lies: IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

The devil. The liar. If you read your Bible often, you will see where God trains us to know that the devil is a liar, he goes around like a roaring lion looking for some to devour.

His favorite delicacy: MARRIAGES!

 

Now, I don't know what kind of teaching you have sat under for the last few years of your walk. I don't know your church-teaching background. I don't know if you read your Bible. I don't know if you even have a prayer life. But I can say this, if you are married - then you need to learn to pray and do SPIRITUAL WARFARE.

 

At the end of this I will list out verses for you to study to support this prayer discipline. But for now, let's look at life of families and I will give you prayer words that I would use in my life in each scenario. And for this post today, let's assume both husband and wife are Christians.

 

NOTE: When we are believers in Christ, we have the authority to rebuke the devil. Our authority is in Christ and the devil is under the authority of Christ. And the devil must bow down to commands IN JESUS' NAME!

 

Scenario 1: Spouse has an addiction and it is wreaking havoc in the home. They become consumed with this "thing" so much so that they neglect their family, no affection, no conversation, no responsibility...they are lost and drowning in it.

• First, my main thing that I would start praying for my spouse is 1) his/her spiritual walk. The Spirit is willing, the flesh is weak. A phone's battery will go dead if it never plugs into the charger right? So then, pray that they will be convicted to spend time with God. It is God who can do a work in our hearts. Intercede for their walk with God.
• Second thing I would do is 2) take authority over the spirit of addiction, rebuke the bondage that the enemy is entrapping them in. Also, include praying against the flesh that is trying to rule over them. I just need to list an example prayer below....

"Lord, I lift up my husband to you...and in Jesus name I pray that you would begin a work like never before. God I lift up his heart, do heart surgery. Heal the brokenness, heal the hurt, and soften his heart. Soften his heart to You. God cause his heart to be so sensitive to Your voice, Your conviction, Your authority. God, I pray a submissive spirit over my husband today! Cause him to be unable to avoid you. Invade his life. Invade his dreams, his thoughts, and day. God, send people to him today that will be speakers of truth, speakers of Your Word. In Jesus name. And I take authority over this bondage of sin. The addiction/bondage that is controlling him, I pray in Jesus name that you would release the captive. God set him free, in Isaiah 61 is says you bring liberty to the captives, please God free my husband from this addiction of NAME IT: (alcohol, sex, pornography, internet, food, games, gambling, Facebook, YouTube, - whatever it is that he is in). Break off the control it has. Take authority over the pull, the pleasure it brings him. Make him physically ill when he sits down to it, put a knot in his throat and convict his heart for his family God, in Jesus name. God give him a vision of what he is doing to us. But give him strength to overcome it. Give him strength to pray and agree with the work You are doing....And in Jesus name devil, I rebuke you. I rebuke you off my marriage, I rebuke you off my husband. I command every spirit of darkness to flee in Jesus name. Satan, you will not steal my husband and my marriage. I command you to take your claws out of my husband in Jesus name. I rebuke your addictive spirits in Jesus name. I rebuke the lies my husband is under, in Jesus name. I rebuke your work in our lives - Devil you have no authority in Jesus name, so be gone, leave, and stop it in Jesus name."

 

The prescription is: Do this daily. Yes, continually intercede.....because, this prayer will morph. As you intercede for your spouse, God will show you more to the problem. Perhaps, your spouse has this addiction, you start praying over them, and maybe really, they are struggling at work, but not sharing this. Maybe someone is harassing them, or tempting them, or something....something bad enough to push them to want to escape to that vice, that addiction. If God is to show you something like this, then you start praying over that situation, ask for confirmations, and even pray for a new job/opportunity.

 

Scenario 2: I hear this often in marriages. People who have been married 1 year, 3 years, 5, 7, 10, 20....those aren't magic numbers....just arbitrarily picked to point out, it happens at any point....But what do I hear? Those dreaded words: "I just don't love you anymore". People are funny. People are so fickle. Obviously, I am a HHHHUUUUUGGGGGEEEE advocate for PREMARITAL COUNSELING. This weeds out a lot of potential spouses that will desert you and who are not ready to really marry. But, often many bypass this in the name of SOMETHING: lust, convenience, pressure from parents, pressure from peers, pressure from the calendar saying 'you're getting old'....SIDE NOTE: If you're not ready to marry - DON'T. Period. That's a whole other topic..... So how would I pray if my husband, God forbid, came to me and said, "I just don't love you" or "I'm not in love with you". Anyone who knows me, knows my husband better watch out because I would go to my knees and pray, and pray and pray.

• First, I would pray for myself in this situation. Pray for God's protection over my heart and mind, and a myriad of things like: God protect my heart, keep me confident. Show me my identity in You Lord....along those lines for sure.
• Second, the key thing I would take authority over is the lie! The lies of the enemy trying to rob my marriage of it's purpose. Again, the devil is a liar. It would go something like this....

"Lord, in Jesus name, come minister to me. My heart is wounded from my husband's words that he's not in love with me...never will be, never was. Lord heal my heart. Give me the mind of Christ. Take authority over my thought life....take authority over depression and give me your strength to endure this season of prayer and intercession for my marriage and husband. Protect my heart from bitterness and hopelessness. Increase my faith and do a work in me through this. Give me endurance to pray until we come out on top, and keep me mindful to continually pray. Protect me from the lies of 'just find someone else', 'it's not worth it', 'tap out', 'give up'. God, put a determined spirit in me to intercede for my family. I know that you have a plan for me and my husband. God help us get there....and devil, I rebuke the lies you are speaking to my husband. I rebuke the lie of 'no love'. I rebuke the lies of hopelessness you are speaking to him. I rebuke you devil off my marriage in Jesus name. I take authority over any generational curses from our past ancestors, I rebuke the curse of divorce. I bind and tie any words of death spoken over our marriage in Jesus name....Devil, leave and stop in Jesus name...and so on..."

 

With this one you can pray all kinds of things, and yes, again God will begin to reveal things of their past that is influencing....lies from counselors or worldly friends...lies, lies, lies.

 

Why do I know these this works...outside of my personal testimonies of this kind of prayer working...the WORD!!!! Again: Read your Bibles, daily.

 

Ephesians 6:12: For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

 

John 8:44: ....(The devil) He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

 

Matthew 16:23: But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan". (Jesus simply told Satan what to do...the devil has to bow down to Christ and our prayer will execute Christ's authority over him.)

 

Matthew 17:21: (Jesus said)...."But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.” (Study this section, it's when the disciples were unable to cast out demons....search my blog for a post on fasting...I'm pretty sure there is one.)

 

Isaiah 61:1: The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives, and freedom to prisoners...

 

1 John 5:14-16: This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him. If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask and God will for him give life to those who commit sin not leading to death...

 

I leave you with this last verse w/ the underlined being what I stand on always when praying for the success of my marriage.

IT IS GOD'S WILL THAT

OUR MARRIAGES SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!!

 

So then...will YOU partner with God and intercede on your spouse's behalf and for your marriage, for your sake and your kids?

 

Consider this...the enemy loves to lure us to sleep and be complacent in prayer so that he can rip us off of our family and our walks with God...our children's salvation. The devil will use ANYTHING to keep us from serving the Lord in our fullest potential - by the Spirit of God!

 

So now...what's on your agenda DAILY? PRAYER!

 

****Note: This is not an exhaustive list of verses, nor are these exhaustive prayers...nor is this the only tool in the toolbox for scenarios like this....although: THIS IS A STARTING POINT...because I know that when you show up to prayer, God will show you great and mighty things to lead you down the path of victory. (Read Jeremiah 33:3 - this is why I pray so much!)

Forgiveness is what the Lord requires of us. PERIOD.

Forgiveness….what is it good for?

·        Christ said to forgive, always forgive…70 times 7. (Matthew 18:22 NASB)

·        In the Lord’s prayer, it reads: Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. (Matthew 6:12 NLT)

·        And it is God’s forgiveness, His sacrifice on the cross for our sins that gives us eternal life with the Lord. (Refer to Ephesians 1:7 NASB)

 

So then, I ask again: FORGIVENESS….what is it good for?

All too often, and in this world, we hear about bitter stories of unforgiveness, followed by judgment. What door does this mindset open up into one’s life? If you are unable to forgive anyone, you remain bitter, and we know that bitterness does not respect boundaries.

 

Bitterness will cross over into other relationships. And why shouldn’t it? If you can’t forgive this one person over here for something they did, then you are capable of not forgiving the next person who offends or hurts you, right? This starts a lifestyle of bitterness and resentment.

When have you met a happy, joyful, kind bitter person? Hmmmmm. Unforgiveness and bitterness sits in opposition of the fruits of the spirits. Refresh your memory in Galatians 5:22-23.

I see how unforgiveness is a greater sin. It opens the door to many others. Consider the judgment that sprouts out of a soil fertilized by it. Think about it. The people you don’t forgive you end up judging them, their life, their family, their spending, their kids, their work ethic, their looks…everything. And like bitterness, judgment will cross over into other relationships. 

 

Bitterness and judgment are relational cancers!

The heart of man can be wicked. Resentment is usually marked by anger and easily turns into hate. What does Jesus equivocate hate with? Turn to Matthew 5:21-26, read it and you will see. 

I know, the truth confronts and convicts. But the truth is what sets you free. Do you want to be set free from resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness?

Those you need to forgive today probably started with those you didn’t forgive as a child, teen, and young adult. List out all those starting from childhood that you need to forgive. And find a way to forgive them today.

 

Forgiveness, following the example of Christ, will truly open the door to the power of the Spirit, that which you have been seeking for so long.

 Who do you need to forgive today?

Who needs some REDEMPTION in their lives & situations?

I've been spending so much time with my mom recently, it's crazy.

If you knew me in high school or shortly after, you would assume I disowned her. I had a very, very rough upbringing that ended in a sad diagnosis of mental illness for her.

As a teenage girl, I truly hated her. I wanted to run away, it was really that bad. But yesterday, as I carted her around for her errands, I told she is truly a best friend of mine.

I mentioned that at her funeral, I will be recruiting a new best friend, one who has to listen to my every word and love me unconditionally, because that's what she does. There is NO ONE on this planet that listens to me so patiently, as my mom does.

The irony is that was not the case as a child/teenager. I was rejected, neglected, and emotionally bankrupt. And as I reflected over how good things are now, I started praising the Lord with her.

 

I pointed out God's redemption all over the place.

Without going into great detail regarding my parents for their sake, let's just say my birth was a very unplanned event, one that left a trail of trials. Born out of wedlock to say the least. I was born during the '70s, so it's not a surprise to say that my mom smoked weed DURING her pregnancy with me.

Long story short, I was raised by a single mom, seldomly saw my dad most of my childhood. Her pot smoking and party habits escalated through my teen years.

Although it was rough, I graduated from high school in 1995 with a 3.97 GPA (to this day, I am very bummed over the 2-3 Bs I got my freshman year). The craziest years of my life were my sophomore through senior years, and that is when I excelled the most with 4.0 report cards. However, those were the years I started my path of bad decisions re: boys. Thank God it didn't impact my academics. I was a bonafide overachiever then, too!

By 1998, my mom had a heavy duty mental illness diagnosis...and life changed. In two weeks of her hospital stay, I went from hating her to having to get over it to help her with doctor appointments.

She basically got a 'get out of jail free' card. I was so torn and broken. I had so much hate, anger, animosity toward her for the childhood that was forfeited by her lifestyle choices...and here I had a doctor sit in front of me and tell me: "Now, try not to get upset with her, please don't argue with her, it could send her into a relapse!"

Wow, she was off the hook, yet I continued to sit in my own jail of resentment.

Begrudgefully, I took her to the day clinic once/twice a week. This was not an easy thing for me. I was a junior in college, living in Bakersfield...and I had to drive out to the Wasco/Delano area to pick her up, bring her to Bakersfield (go to class/work)....and then turn around, pick her up from the clinic and take her home, in the same day. And oh, while I'm at it...let's drive her to the store for food and take her to do laundry, right?

At the time, I was bitter, so rude to her...just broken. Mad that for all the years she mistreated me, now I had to basically serve her. For what? She definitely did not 'deserve' it, right? But I did it anyways....see, my kid brother was still living with her, so he served as my motivating factor.

I looooooooooved him so much (I still do, onery guy)...But in order for me to take care of him, I had to take care of my mom. To insure he had food in the house to eat, I had to take her grocery shopping. This was the most grueling season of my life.

Sadly enough, eight months after my mom's diagnosis came, my beloved granny died of cancer. Can I just say 1998 sucked? She had been my refuge from my mom growing up. The one who listened to my childhood woes and loved me unconditionally. That was and still is the worst loss of my life. She was amazing, I loved her so much. She took such good care of me when I was with her, throughout my life. Awww...my granny, I sure do miss her.

So 1998 has gone down in the books as one of the worst year of my life. Yet, right around the corner 2001 came. This has gone down in the books as the best year of my life!

While 2001 ended as the best, 2001 started out rough and sad. See, in the year 2000, immediately following my college graduation, I followed the peer pressure and started my own party lifestyle. (Something I said I would never do since my mom's own alcohol and drug abuse traumatically hurt our lives). But, as I am convinced, alcohol is the gateway drug...and when I was drunk during those times in 2000, just about every drug that was freely offered to me, I tried. And some, I took up frequent use of. From June of 2000 to about February 2001, I partied using Ecstasy, every weekend on both Friday and Saturday nights. YIKES!

I know, crazy, huh? Crazy that I'm not crazy from that crazy use, huh?

What they say about Ecstasy is true. It's detrimental to your mind. See, it dumps out all your seratonin, the happy chemical naturally produced in your brain. But at some point, your brain can't create enough, store enough...so the end result...Serious, sad depression.

No seratonin = depression. This is why Prozac and meds like it are necessary sometimes, they stimulate the seratonin production so that people can feel normal/happy again. Although, I didn't get my hands on any of that, I just sunk down into despair.

I finally put two & two together of the long term side effects that were occuring with the Ecstasy, so I began declining when my friends offered. However, it was too late. Depression was taking over. I continued to drink and smoke pot to lift up my spirits and pull me out of that depression. It was a crazy cycle of addiction and abuse and continued depression and hopelessness.

Finally, I met someone who shared his testimony with me. The only thing I think I heard was: "Jesus healed me of a $350/day cocaine habit". I thought to myself, 'I'm bad, but not that bad, so Jesus can help me'. I set out on a mission to find out about this mysterious Jesus. Never knew He was the Savior of the world, the Redeemer of life. And I needed Him stat! I needed some saving and redeeming.

As the depression set in deeper and disgust with myself over doing what I said I would never do...drugs...I became suicidal. I felt like I had dug such a deep hole of failure that there was no way out. I almost began obsessing over it. I was on a mission to find the best way to take my life.

The challenge (because I love challenges right?) was that it had to appear like an accident. In my darkest moments, I did not want to live anymore. I just wanted to hit delete and erase myself from the planet. I was a mess. I was a alcoholic, pothead with no morals. A homewrecking, promiscuous, lying, cussing, unappreciative mess!

All the while the friend who told me about Christ must have been praying because in October 2001, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior!!!!! And then the radical transformation began.

Now 11 years later nearly, I am a sober, faithful wife and mom of two boys. I am not cussing at anyone these days...and my life is devoted to Christ and taking care of my family...happily including my mom.

As I sat with her yesterday, I said to her...Can you see God's redemption in my life mom???? Isn't it crazy to see firsthand.

 

Born out of sin...

yet born with a great purpose and calling on my life.

God had a planned in my mishap conception!

My mom...the person I wanted nothing to do with. The one I wanted to abandon for so long, I wanted to hate forever, and forget! She is now my best friend. I seriously love my mom. I call my mom on my own initiative. I love her. I hug her. I appreciate her. I help take care of her, without grumbling and resentment.

Not only did Jesus redeem my screwed up life and personal choices, but He redeemed my relationship with my mom in such an amazing way. I am so grateful!

And not too long ago, I hit a rough patch for a minute, with my dad...but God is even good in that. Let me just restate:

Jesus is in the business of reconciliation...

and REDEMPTION!!!

Who needs some of that? Cause Jesus is serving it up daily!!!!

New Look & My Why!!!!! (Moms, this is especially for you...)

This is random, but I'm going to be giving my blog a new look very soon. I'm going to do what Dave did and put up some before & after pics along the top.

I think this will get the message out there that YOU CAN lose the weight, whether it is baby weight, or just weight you've gathered over the years.

• YOU CAN eat healthy and change your body.
• YOU CAN find an exercise routine you like to do & enjoy doing it daily.
• YOU CAN transform your body, your physique.
• YOU CAN get in the best shape of your life.
• YOU CAN avoid preventable disease.




My Boys (My Life)



• YOU CAN live a longer, meaningful, quality life.

I'm almost there. I'm almost in the best shape of my life, despite having an 18 mos. old & a 4 1/2 year old. Despite having all the resposibilities of life, I still make time to work out.

I am like most of you believe it or not. I do like to eat. Recently though, since I've reached right under 130 lbs. I've had complete strangers look at me and say, "you don't need to worry about what you eat" - on the contrary, I have to watch every bite that goes in. I can overeat, like most. I like cookies, like most. Like most, I gain weight if I 'don't worry about what I eat & eat whatever I want'.

I appreciate the compliment, but this is exactly why I will be creating a banner along the top of this blog is so that the world can see that I had love handles, muffin tops, full cheeks, nearly a double chin, a gut, a wide 'ol booty. I had it all!

159/160 lbs. - 6 weeks after my youngest's birth!

But instead of accepting it, I have chosen every day for the last 16 1/2 months to work my butt of to get in shape. To strip off that unhealthy extra weight!

No Muffins, No Love Handles, Booty back w/in boundaries!

The other day, I shared with a friend: "By the way, I DO NOT stand in front of the mirror with low self-esteem and say, 'JUST 5 MORE POUNDS'". I do however, stand in front of the mirrow and say, "Oh my gosh Dave, look at my arms, can you imagine how ripped I will look after I hybrid my workouts and do a ton of resistance training".

Now my mission is to be as strong and lean as possible...just for the pleasure of having success over my eating and struggles w/ my weight all of my life. And, I am so close. Why would I choose to 'maintain' (which for me leads to gaining weight)? All I have left to do is put forth some energy & intensity and prove to the world that we can get in the best shape of our lives POSTPARTUM!

I'm mad that women feel powerless over their weight, their eating, their baby weight. I hate it when I see women defeated feeling like nothing they do will work.

Work out for 16 months like I did....eat like me and I can guarantee that weight will come off. Many "try" to lose weight for a couple weeks, a couple months...but do they stick to the same plan for 1 year, 2 years...the rest of their life. So until you put at least 1 year out of consistent effort - don't disqualify yourself!

One of my life goals now, along with my husband (http://www.thislittlepiggywenttothegym.com/), is to help overweight and obese people shed the pounds and gain control over their bodies! YOU are the boss of what goes into your body. YOU are the boss of what your body does. So be the boss & stop letting your appetite & negative self-talk talk you out of being as healthy as possible!!!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

We're here to help!!!!

Flexing my prayer!

Many of you go to church on Sunday...and many of you do not. If you enjoy a little 'spiritual' boost weekly, but don't believe in 'organized religion', I will try to offer that boost to you on Sundays.

Today, I felt led to share a prayer. I hope that it renews your hope and encourages you this beautiful Sunday!

Lord, in Jesus' name I pray for all the tired men and women who have had their patience tested, their endurance stretched, and their physical needs left unmet this week. I pray full nights' rest tonight for the weary and sleep deprived, and I ask to give an extra measure of affection and comfort to the lonely and brokenhearted.

God, reveal Yourself in an amazing powerful way today. Cause the truth of Your Word to penetrate our hearts, minds, and thoughts. Help us to hear Your voice amidst the noise that so easily distracts and derails us. Help us to have the strength to obey Your Word with joy and excitement. Broaden our horizons, open doors of ministry and friendship, and bring healing to the areas of death and famine in our lives.

Lord, some of us need miracles in our finances, our jobs, our marriages, our extended families, in our bodies...I ask in Jesus' mighty name that you would provide those miracles today Lord! Give us the faith to believe You for them & receive them. Lord, just as the apostles asked in Luke 17:5, 'Increase our faith Lord'...increase ours' today Lord. 

Provide a day of rest to the weak and rejuvenate our 'earthly dwellings' Lord, we need full cooperation of our bodies to complete all the tasks ahead of us tomorrow, as well as this next week. For those who do not know You as Lord and Savior, I pray Jesus that You would send a messenger to share Your love, Your grace, and mercy to them. I pray for open hearts and minds to the simplicity of the Gospel and lives to be changed by this prayer tonight. I so deeply believe Lord that it is Your will that all shall be saved and united with You, so God move and make a way for the unsaved's salvation and bring the lost home today.

Lord, to all those who need an extra dose of grace, pour it out on them, help those who need to forgive themselves accept Your forgiveness and forge ahead into the life that You have for them, in Jesus name. And for those who live a life to please You and love you...Lord bless them 'above and beyond all they can hope and imagine' for their efforts, in Jesus name and pray all these things...Amen.

As I was going through photos, I found this pic and thought to myself, here I am sowing seed in my garden...how amazing that I wonder at the end of this prayer, how many seeds are sown into your heart? I am a firm believer and follower of Jesus. As you can ask my older son, 'who is Jesus?' - Even he will tell you that Jesus is Lord and Savior.

My hope is that I did bring hope and peace to your heart today. I am a person of prayer and I know that when I pray things that line up with God's Word, those things happen. So I hope that you will remember this post today and if & when you need a little inspiration, you will return to reread it and plug your name into it. God has wonderful plans for you! He really, really does!

God bless you today...........Jen